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girlfriend mad

M

musman69

Greenlighter
Joined
Sep 8, 2014
Messages
24
So my girlfriend went to her obgyn today and came over. When she got here she told me how sore she was and how it last a couple days. I told her id wait till she felt better. Well she started teasing me and wanted sex. I told her i didn't want to hurt her because i know how much she is hurting down there. Now she thinks I'm rejecting her, but I'm just being considerate about how it feels for her.
What would y'all do?
 
If she wants to have sex and feels comfortable doing it despite being a little sore from her visit to her OB I'd say go for it (assuming you want to as well). If she just went in for a routine exam and/or pap smear I don't see the harm in having intercourse. I'm never sore after having a routine gynecological exam, but every woman is different. If you do decide to have sex, just start slow and stop immediately if she experiences pain. You guys should be good to go though! Enjoy!
 
TacototheCloud said:
If she wants to have sex and feels comfortable doing it despite being a little sore from her visit to her OB I'd say go for it (assuming you want to as well). If she just went in for a routine exam and/or pap smear I don't see the harm in having intercourse. I'm never sore after having a routine gynecological exam, but every woman is different. If you do decide to have sex, just start slow and stop immediately if she experiences pain. You guys should be good to go though! Enjoy!
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Not gonna happen. She's extremely pissed off now. She was in so much pain earlier she slept for 3hours. I was just trying to be nice and now she's all pissed off
 
Oh man, I'm sorry :( I'm that way with my boyfriend sometimes. I've actually been wanting to write a thread about it. I get so angry when my boyfriend tells me he doesn't want to have sex... no matter what the reason is. As soon as he turns my proposition down my mind immediately jumps into rejection mode - which harbors a cluster fuck of self centered, insecure thoughts. He must not be attracted to me, he's interested in someone else, I'm bad in bed, he doesn't love me... it's just ridiculous. And the worst part is I can sit here and tell you how ridiculous I know it is and yet I'll do it again the next time he says no.

He recently confronted me about this issue, and I apologized for my behavior, but I turned around and did it again tonight!

He asked for a massage, put on an amazing play list (all of the songs were ones we've listened to while having sex before), and laid down in bed. 9 times out of 10 a massage leads to sex for us. So with that in mind, plus the playlist going in the background, I totally thought it was sexy time. I was wrong, and when he affirmed that he wasn't interested I got pissed off and took my pillow to sleep on the couch. What the hell is my problem? Any insight would be much appreciated. I've been hesitant to initiate sex with him lately because I'm so afraid he'll say no and this whole crazy rejection induced bitch fest will start again.

I apologize for hijacking your thread OP. I just had to get that out. I hope your girlfriend comes around soon.
 
Women are not the only casualties of popular media and culture. The whole "men think about sex every 30 seconds" is wildly untrue and causes more problems for both men and women than you might initially think. Maybe BOYS do. Single, angsty, unlaid, daily-masturbating BOYS might think about 'bangin'-bitches' every minute or so, but a MAN in a serious relationship with a woman he truly loves, the thought of sex becomes dampened out by a hurricane of 1000's of other thoughts now. Actually, if your man was coming home from work every day and just pouncing on you, I would question the validity of his 'love' and commitment to an actual relationship because clearly he's got one thing at the forefront of his mind.

Atop that, just put yourself in his shoes. You aren't always ready to go 24/7, neither is he. Now you have to take these two different human beings and hope that the occasional thought of coitus crosses their minds at similar times and in similar intensities. There have been plenty of times where my fiance and I would be talking dirty enough to get fired over instant messenger, and then by the time we're both home, one or both of us may completely have forgotten about it. That's simply because we are truly in love and are best friends, and we mean far, far more to each other than a routine lay.

Most importantly, please don't ever get mad at him or yourself if he turns it down. A stressful day, depression, anxiety, illness, all can play factors in him not wanting to have sex, and now you're all mad at him and acting insecure about the relationship, which makes his anxiety and disconnection even worse, which makes him turn you down more often, which makes you mad, etc, etc, etc... Also, wouldn't it make you feel bad if the only reason he gives in to your sexual advances is because he "doesn't want to piss you off"? That would be an awful chemistry!!

Bottom line, men are definitely not horny all day, every day and the last thing anyone should do when a man turns you down is get mad or insecure.
 
She shared with you that she was sore. Ok, great! Then she wants more, why would you not hit it? She did not say she wanted to wait for it to get better. Who are you to decide what she wants or needs? If she wants sex thats her choice. Dont worry, you cant wear it out. Dudes hit on that shit for 30-40 years and they take a licking and keep on ticking.
While it sounds like she's over reacting, she wants sex, you turned her down, that says to her you dont want it. And my question is why not? You're not sore, she is! Never turn your chick down for sex. That is one of their strong emotional connections. We dont think that way, we can hit it and quit it no problem :)
 
yeah getting turned down for sex would only bother me as part of a long term pattern.

dont worry about it and let the dust settle
 
P.S. turning your g/f down for sex is never a good idea, whether you have a legitimate reason or not, or just don't feel like it.

Just do it.
 
TacototheCloud said:
Oh man, I'm sorry :( I'm that way with my boyfriend sometimes. I've actually been wanting to write a thread about it. I get so angry when my boyfriend tells me he doesn't want to have sex... no matter what the reason is. As soon as he turns my proposition down my mind immediately jumps into rejection mode - which harbors a cluster fuck of self centered, insecure thoughts. He must not be attracted to me, he's interested in someone else, I'm bad in bed, he doesn't love me... it's just ridiculous. And the worst part is I can sit here and tell you how ridiculous I know it is and yet I'll do it again the next time he says no.

He recently confronted me about this issue, and I apologized for my behavior, but I turned around and did it again tonight!

He asked for a massage, put on an amazing play list (all of the songs were ones we've listened to while having sex before), and laid down in bed. 9 times out of 10 a massage leads to sex for us. So with that in mind, plus the playlist going in the background, I totally thought it was sexy time. I was wrong, and when he affirmed that he wasn't interested I got pissed off and took my pillow to sleep on the couch. What the hell is my problem? Any insight would be much appreciated. I've been hesitant to initiate sex with him lately because I'm so afraid he'll say no and this whole crazy rejection induced bitch fest will start again.

I apologize for hijacking your thread OP. I just had to get that out. I hope your girlfriend comes around soon.
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Yeah my g/f has wanted me to rub her back and I just want to sleep.
I know what she wants but I just rub her back and then she gets pissed and goes to bed.

It seems to be a near universal thing for women to assume men are ready to go whenever, which most of the time we are actually, just not always.

But anyway sometimes she just gets on me and I don't really have any say on the matter, which makes me want it oddly (or maybe not oddly)
Try that?
 
mabzie55 said:
Yeah my g/f has wanted me to rub her back and I just want to sleep.
I know what she wants but I just rub her back and then she gets pissed and goes to bed.

It seems to be a near universal thing for women to assume men are ready to go whenever, which most of the time we are actually, just not always.

But anyway sometimes she just gets on me and I don't really have any say on the matter, which makes me want it oddly (or maybe not oddly)
Try that?
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Haha I will definitely try that! I recently promised him that I would work on my issue of getting upset when he turns me down. So far I've done really well. When he says no, I just play it cool now. It still deeply upsets me, but I realized that it is completely unfair of me to react with anger just because he doesn't want to have sex. I've started to masturbate more also in an attempt to get my sexual energy out. It's helped a little bit, but I'd still rather be having wild passionate sex with him.
 
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