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Girlfriend and Adderall...

I

incident

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 12, 2004
Messages
1,639
Location
west palm beach, fl
So, my girlfriend has had a pretty bad adderall addiction for a couple of years now. So bad that at one point she would be taking upwards of 900mg (not a typo) daily. She doesn't insufflate it, shoot it, parachute it or plug it - she takes it the way it's meant to be taken... orally. The way she would support this habit was by going to numerous doctors (almost one everyday) and then get her scripts filled in different states at different pharmacies.

Anyways in the 4-5 months I have known her she has been trying to kick this horrible habit and after trying to get off completely (when I first met her, she started an abstinence that lasted for 2-3 days - in which she was miserable, looked/felt like shit, and was miserable to be around).
So, she was "tapering" off adderall with a doctor and got down to 20mg/day. She just got a job in retail and is back up to 60mg/day. Everyday, all I hear is how she function and how nobody understands. When she was on 20mg, all she could talk about is how she needed 40mg and she would be fine (we all know how this goes).

Now she is on 60mg (aderall xr that she takes in the morning) with a doctor who knows her issues and her addiction potential. She just got finished telling me she needs double this dose, another 60mg to take in the afternoon when the morning dose starts wearing off. The way she wants to accomplish this is by going to see another doctor on top of the one she is at now and getting him to write for 60mg/day so that she can take that in the afternoon.

I have tried explaining her behavior to her; how crazy this is and how it will only lead back to the insane behavior she was displaying before, but she doesn't listen. Her big this is that nobody understands, and anytime she gets any resistance she just dismisses it as people not understanding.

About a week ago she went to the doctor and got 30 20mg iR pills and 30 30mg IR pills and they were all gone within 4 days. She ran out on Tuesday after getting them Saturday morning. So, I know that this will be the case if she's around it. The thing is she's very smart (Masters from Columbia, etc.) and at times, has even ME fooled that she has this under control. I'm probably a little co-dependant (self-esteem is pretty low right now, just got over my heroin addiction).

Anyways, what I'm looking for is:
1. Any alternative suggestions to Adderall that I could suggest to her (trust me with my extensive knowledge of pharms and drugs I have suggested 100 things that she has "tried already to no avail") -- was thinking exercise maybe?
Her main complaints are: she can't think, she can't concentrate, she has no energy to do anything, she's flustered, she's unmotivated, she can't get organized, etc.

2. A good argument for this "terminal uniqueness" she suffers from. I have gone in by telling her it's a thinking error and that every addict on the face of this earth has that thought - "nobody understands and if you were in my shoes you'd use to!" - if not an argument then maybe a way to disarm this as it comes, empathizing maybe?

3. Any advice for ME on how to deal with this in MY life. I'd like to keep this relationship, and I'm pretty insecure with myself right now - so ending it would be hard because I lean pretty heavily on her (unhealthy I know but I like having this crutch when there's no drugs to turn to - I don't lean as much on it now as I did in the beginning its a steady decline)
 
1) Non-drug options would obviously be the best here, but check out Modafinil. With her doctor shopping skills I'm sure she could score a script.

2/3) Counseling/NA/Something she needs to sack up and confront her addiction. If she won't, you need to know when to leave. She'll either take that as a sign she needs to get better, or she won't, and in that case is she really worth it?

But really, 900mgs? Damn
 
dude.....

honestly i think you should break up and both go to rehab/counseling. Her 'nobody understands' thing is just bullshit to justify taking more. She has a SERIOUS addiction and id be amazed if she kicked it on her own. especially since she obviously doesnt want to.
 
I would suggest that she needs to quit using. Hundreds of milligrams of Adderall in days is completely uncalled for. This is not good for her heart, nor her brain.

If she's going to believe you don't "understand" her, then leave it at that. She's still psychologically addicted to using, and nothing's going to change her mind. Let herself change her mind when she's ready.
 
Go over to addforums.com and let her read some of the experience posts from adults with ADHD. Maybe it would help her to see that other people have the exact same issues as she does. It can be a wakeup call when you read something someone else wrote and find yourself thinking "wow, I could have written that. That's my life!"
 
Thanks for the replies guys, seriously. The only problem with all this logic (not to me, it makes perfect sense to me) is that it's easy for her to argue that this is not about using to "have a good time" or to get "get high and space out." According to her, there are LEGITIMATE REASONS to use this stuff. I guess the only thing that she would be forced to admit to is that it takes the edge off, and she would probably get pissy about the wording of even that phrase.

A main argument of hers is that there haven't been many studies done on adults and ADHD. Also she says that there has been even less (well, OK, she claims NO studies) on adults, ADHD and treating with Adderall. So the FDA maximum of 60mg/day is bullshit because it's based on people under 18. I know there are people here who can probably help me out with de-constructing these bullshit arguments.

Found these:
http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/12048.php
http://www.adult-adhd.com/adult_adhd_medications.php
http://www.ncpamd.com/NewADD_Meds.htm

Maybe someone who struggles with ADHD can reply? Ever felt this way? Overcame? How? Used meds? Any advice?
 
incident said:
Her main complaints are: she can't think, she can't concentrate, she has no energy to do anything, she's flustered, she's unmotivated, she can't get organized, etc.
Click to expand...

Sounds like all the side effects of sobriety to me...
 
I've been in relationships like the one you describe. Basically you have two addicts in different phases of their addiction who are co-dependent on each other. Never ends well in my experience. If you want to be sober you need to leave her, at least for the time being and concentrate on yourself. She needs to work out her problems in her own way, it sounds like a relationship is the last thing she needs at this time.

Just my 2 cents. I know it's hard to walk away, but if you don't she probably will or the relationship will just blow up and it won't be pretty.

Focus on saving yourself, not her. Then you'll be in a much better place to start a more balanced relationship with someone who wants what you want.
 
as far as her argument that there havent been studies on adults, there would only be two factors in play.

1. brain development
2. size

maybe the 60mg max is to minimize risk of damage to kids who are still developing, probably not but even if that was the case 900mgs is way the fuck out there, and completely excessive. And i weigh 220lbs and i get pretty tweaked on like 20mgs if i havent done any in a while.
 
900mg a day??

No way she is gonna be able to cut down to 60 8o

I think the suggestion about breaking up and taking up rehab/psych therapy is a good one, but I don't see it being followed, given the circumstances....

but if you have the strength of character to end it, then I would. it hurts a lot to watch another human being hurt themselves - and not seem to care when they do :\
 
Believe it or not, 60mg is stronger for adults than children. Amphetamines are less powerful for children.

I used to do about 900mg myself too. I did a lot of other shit too though. All I can say I don't remember a damn thing. Honestly, there is nothing you can do with a drug addict unless the person is ready, which she seems not to be. Whether or not you want to cut ties with her completely is your own personal personal decision, but I think a bit more distance with her to emphasize her problem to speed up the process of understanding she needs to quit may help honestly.
 
Coolio said:
Sounds like all the side effects of sobriety to me...
Click to expand...

Coolio, that made me lol. Nice.

But for real, I take adderrall & cannot imagine the dose your girlfriend takes. I mean, that's major.
I have one script that's from one doctor and it's the only one I get for the month. I usually don't even use the whole thing in one month. BUT when my job was hectic I did use more than the 20mg/day I was prescribed. She needs to stay on the low dose and do a couple of things..
I had my Vitamin D level tested and it was extremely low. That accounted for the lack of energy and concentration I was having. I started Vitamin D and it made a HUUUUGGGE difference in those areas. I felt results at a 400mg/day dosage after 2 weeks. When you are deficient you can feel the results pretty quickly. I felt the results so much that I had to lower my dosage of addy.
Second, L-Tyrosine is an amino acid that is supposed to help for that. It made me jittery to be honest. So she might find it extremely helpful! You can get it at GNC or any supplement store. It was 10 bucks.

Those two things helped me a lot. I would suggest them to her. Exercise is not something that will appeal to her b/c she is used to taking a pill for energy. Exercise is more effort and she will prob say she doesn't have time or energy for it. I find it helps me, but her addiction will eliminate that as a valid option pretty quickly. L-Tyrosine and Vitamin D.
And dude, be there for her, don't leave her. She's going through a rough patch and she can get through it with you. If you broke up with her and she got her act together, then she prob wouldn't take you back. No one wants someone that leaves when things get tough. You will be stronger as a couple in the long run. I can tell you love her though, or you wouldn't have posted your question. <3 My husband would have never gotten on the computer and posted something like this. He's sweet, but he doesn't get creative on problem solving. ha.
 
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