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Getting sober (not for lack of trying)

LordOfTabs

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 8, 2015
Messages
93
For years I've been complaining of feeling like crap. And have been to a few psych docs about some vision issues.

Here I am have been sober 4 days now and feeling great. Anyone else get roped into thinking your sick, and rather just on alot of drugs?
I'd like to hear recovery stories, both for personal good and forced recovery :)
 
I think my recent history is in the vein of what you're interested in... I've had a heroin habit for about 4 years. I've also had severe depression my whole life. In August (i.e. about four months ago), after a series of suicide attempts and psychotic depression, I spent a couple weeks in a very good psych ward. What was interesting to me about the hospital experience was their approach to my meds: when I was admitted, the doctors removed almost all medications from my regimen. Then, they very slowly added a few things back.

The upshot is: when I went into the hospital, I was on a fucking mountain of psych meds. Upon discharge, I'm only on 150 mg zoloft and 2mg clonazepam daily.

I feel much better, though of course it's hard to know if the drop in medication is the cause for this. But yeah, way less spaced out. My hands don't shake like they used to. Of course I'm also getting the dope out of my life, which is surely helping!
 
I don't think calling addiction a disease is untrue. When I get pills or a bottle of alcohol, once I start, no matter how badly I would like to stop, I'm not going to. I don't think it's inaccurate to say it's something beyond your control. What is under my control though, is whether I want to take that first pill or first swig.

I guess you could say in a way my recovery was forced. I fried my liver drinking (alcoholic hepatitis) and the medical doc in my last rehab told me I could expect to develop cirrhosis within 1-2 years if I didn't stop, but I was still at the point where my liver can eventually recover if I do stop.

At day 4, you're riding the "pink cloud" as it's called in 12 step circles. Enjoy it and celebrate the feeling. But it's not going to last forever and if you want your quit to stick, develop a plan now, while you're feeling good for the times when you're not. So when that time comes and using thoughts begin to creep back into your thoughts, you'll know what to do to stop them. That's my two cents anyway.
 
Addiction is not a disease in the same sense that AIDS, cancer or pathological illnesses are disease. Addiction is a disease in the sense that GAD and PTSD are disease - that is the disease model employed in modern psychiatric medicine. Bacteriological disease are different and function differently according to a more classic disease model, germ theory (a concept pioneered by Louis Pasteur in the mid 19th century). Germ theory, a classic pathological disease model, understands disease very differently than the current disease model employed by modern psychiatry.

If you know anything about how fucked up the history or modern psychiatry is, you will understand how problematically the psychiatric disease model pathologies mental health conditions - conditions including behavioral disorders, such as substance use disorder (such as the condition commonly referred to as "addiction"), and the various mood disorders (such as the condition commonly referred to as "depression").

The disease model employed by psychiatric medicine has historically been (and counties to be) a strong force in dehumanizing, stigmatizing and demonizing those who struggle with mental illness. This is just as the earlier conception of the disease model, based on germ theory, pathologized conditions such as TB and blood communicable disease like syphilis.

If you are interested in learning more about the problematic history of how addiction has been treated by psychiatric medicine check out Thomas Szasz rather intense book, Ceremonial Chemistry. Check out Caroline Jean Acker's phenomenal treatise on "Addiction Research in the Classic Era of Narcotic Control" and the pathologizing of addiction and mental illness entitled, Creating the American Junkie.
 
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