Opioids Getting off the suboxone hampster wheel - my withdrawals journal

[Aperfectshitstorm]

i've been on Suboxone for 3 1/2 years I finally decided to stop paying these first world assholes all of my money I mean it was better than paying the Third World asshole but at least when I was giving my money to the drug dealers I was getting high to with the Suboxone nothing but pain or humanity. So at 2.5 I have decided to stop taking the Suboxone all together I found a no easier than a cold turkey detox I just found the drawn out over a longer period of time all the pain is still there it just gets drawn out over years instead of a month . And I understand that the detox am about to undertake is going to take a month at least and I'll still be in pain after but it's better than staying on their Suboxone and keeping this going forever because I'm sick of running out of my medication and feeling like crap I'm sick I'm not sleeping I'm sick of tapering down. Suboxone was supposed to be the miracle it was supposed to be the drugs and heroin epidemic but all it does is make you chase her tail and you're still in the same spot as you were when you started . Except in my situation whether it's good or bad everyone I've known is dead I'm one of seven survivors so all of my contacts are gone so I couldn't even get in the opiates if I wanted any and with that is good and bad . I've lost my best friend that was my brother I lost my stepsister I lost countless friends . When all of them die I always notice that their family or their priest will say " they were in so much pain at least now they're in a better place and they're out of pain " but I'm still here I'm still in pain and now I don't have them to lean on now I'm alone but life must go on so Suboxone you can kiss my ass you're not getting another dime of my money.
Anyone who wants to please add on your own thoughts and feelings