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Getting off Oxycodone for good

I didn't slip.. but my buddy's girl is also still in labor lol. Almost to day 7 no full agonist opiates. Gonna try and keep this going as long as possible. Also haven't taken any sub in 24 hours.
 
It is officially day 7.. just took 2mg of sub. The last dose of sub was 2mg taken about 30 hours prior. I am nervous and excited about this upcoming week. Will I continue to taper? Will I try stopping completely? Will I feel depressed? Will my cravings come back? Will I relapse? Ahhhhh..! Either way this detox was necessary. I was taking 5-6 blues a day, every day, for a couple years. It's important to take a step back, lest your habit continue unchecked.
 
Hey BB69 congrats on all the progress you've made so far! Everyday is a huge accomplishment. One recommendation I would make(totally your decision) is that you should flush your blues asap. I did this when I came off oxy and it was huge for me. If you are really serious about quitting then you shouldn't have any need for them again. I probably spent several minutes with my hand hovering above the toliet, but as soon as I dropped the pills in and flushed the toleit I felt a huge sense of relief. It was the moment I knew I was truly done with pills. I'm currently 4 months removed from my daily habit and feel so much better!

You can beat this bro!
 
I also recomend the use of gabapentin and clonedine. I used both to quit and it was INCREDIBLEY helpful.
 
Hunter Olive said:
I also recomend the use of gabapentin and clonedine. I used both to quit and it was INCREDIBLEY helpful.
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Good advice. Having those on hand raises two big problems. First, there's the obvious risk that you might take them. But there's also the mental part...knowing they're around *might* keep thoughts about using fresher in your mind.

I say 'might' because in the end, I actually found that for me personally I did a bit better having a small supply on hand. It turned out for me that it was easier to forget about drugs when I had a small stash that I kept hidden far back in some closet. Again, this is just me, but when I flushed everything, I'd occasionally get in a panic that I might 'need' some, so I'd use that as a pretext to score before I was desperate, and then you can imagine where things went from there. Ultimately, I did best when I had a couple bags stashed, but well out of daily sight. I knew that if I had an overpowering craving, I could take care of myself. But keeping that little stash took away any excuse for hitting up connects.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that what to do with the last of your drugs is really worth thinking honestly about. For the vast majority of us, having dope on hand is asking for trouble.
 
Blueballs69 said:
I know there are an infinite number of threads on this, but I thought I'd post my own experience for personalized responses / support during this time.

I have been addicted to opiates since 2010. I dabbled with percocets and OC's before 2010 but a few negative experiences occurred simultaneously that drove me to use opiates as an escape and to numb my emotional pain.

My initial descent comprised taking one large dose a few times a week. It topped out at 90mg Oxycodone snorted at once.

I then graduated to insufflated heroin. I never injected. This peaked at sniffing a bundle a day for a week straight before I finally said ENOUGH. This was in 2012/2013.

I then went on suboxone, which I easily acquired from one of the many people I knew who were prescribed. I took 4 mg daily for about 3 months, never veering from the path to take full agonist opiates.

I was young and naive and did not respect the power of sub. The withdrawal I experienced around day 4 was the worst I have ever experienced. I remember being on the floor of my bathroom in between vomiting praying to God to just take me or end this - that I would never touch another opiate again blah blah blah.

On day 4 of my withdrawal (day 8 no sub) and seeing no progress in my symptoms I went to the block and got dope. I sniffed a bag or two and all of my withdrawal went away. I used it semi-responsibly and ended up getting off sub but continuing my habit (albeit with much lower amounts than previously).

I stopped using dope when I moved away for law school. I had oxy connects in this town and would still sniff pills occasionally. There was another point that I went on sub (with much more respect for the drug - never went on more than 2mg and properly weaned) and successfully got off opiates completely.

My sobriety lasted about 3 months until me and a group of friends (all of us clean as we had weaned the last time together) decided to do "one blue." Fucking idiots.

That was in 2014. From there, not wanting to dig a hole for myself like I had before, I would only take a quarter pill (~7.5mg) whenever I wanted to get high. This worked for awhile.

In 2015, after graduating law school, I took 2 bar exams simultaneously. I used the non-stop studying as an excuse to take oxy (on top of the daily adderall I was taking). I told myself I was going to sacrifice my body to pass these exams, and oxy gave me the mood boost I needed to forge on and continue studying.

I ended up passing both bar exams, and am now an admitted attorney in 2 states. I also got hooked back on opiates so - a little give and take.

As of now, I take roughly 90mg of Oxycodone daily. At a point not long ago, I was taking 6-7 blues a day. I have leveled off at 3. I had 2 8mg subs and 2 2mg subs at my disposal.

Last week I inducted myself at 4mg, next day 2mg, third day 2mg. Third night I did a 30mg oxy. Fourth day I took around 75mg oxy, Fifth day 75-90mg oxy.

Today, with 1 8mg sub and 2 2mg subs remaining, I took 2mg of sub this morning at 8am. At 6pm I blew another 30mg oxy. Shortly after, and at my wits end, I created a BL account for help and advice. I have used the site for informational purposes many times over the years.

My question is - can I successfully get off this shit with the suboxone I have? 6mg + 2mg + 2mg. What about my self destructive and undisciplined tendencies to still take oxy? Can I potentially use both in smaller doses as a taper? I have successfully taken sub ~12 hours after an oxy dose with no precipitated withdrawals. Is my only option to get a sub doctor? I have no desire to go on long term sub maintenance, but a month or two on the stuff may be what is needed. I am also afraid of the repercussions of having a sub doc on my medical history.

Any thoughts / comments / advice, please let me know. I want to get off of opiates for good
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You're beating yourself up too much, kiddo.
Use Vitamin C (you MUST take sodium ascorbate) and your WD's will be a peace of cake:

https://opiateaddictionsupport.com/how-to-use-vitamin-c-for-opiate-withdrawal/
 
Wrapping up day 7 no oxy.. just put another 2mg sub under my tongue. It's been about 20 hours since my last 2mg sub dose. I'm so glad I decided to do this. I feel like my resolve going into week 2 is right where I need it to be. I'm definitely not at 100% but the decision to go on sub a week ago was a really good one.

I am the same as you, simco. I need to have the small stash "just in case." If they weren't there my head would be spinning and as you said, would be hitting up connects. Knowing they are there if things take a turn helps me relax while I'm getting off this shit. It's also nice to know that even though they are extremely accessible I am not succumbing and using them.

Continue to wish me luck / pray for me. My ideal outcome is that I never do an oxy recreationally again.
 
^^
Definitely wishing you luck, man.

And yes, having the psychological padding of a small stash is understandable, so long as we're straight with ourselves about why it's there and what our goals are.

Keep it up!
 
Day 8 no oxy. Took 2mg sub this morning. I feel good at work today. Again, still not 100% but better than my first day back which was this past Friday. Work continues to be a trigger because any time an "opportunity" presents itself at work that I used to sniff half a blue I need to catch myself.

I'm going to visit my buddy's new baby tonight. Poor girl was in labor 24 hours lol. We're 'celebrating' and as of now I don't plan to do any opiates. I also took 2mg sub this morning as well as 2mg sub like 7pm last night so I doubt I'd feel it anyway.

I'm enjoying being in a good mood and functional at work without having to use oxy as a crutch. Today is going to be a test - hopefully I keep the streak going.

Also worth mentioning is ive been able maintain a satisfactory level of happiness and contentment using only 2mg ~24 hours. This is great and shows progression seeing as i needed 12mg daily to feel normal the first couple days, with 4mg and 2mg doses taken throughout the day.

I am still taking ~2mg Xanax daily as well, but if I stay the course and don't relapse I will be stopping the Xanax next week (or doing a short little taper if absolutely necessary). After this week (which will be 14 days clean off oxy) it's kinda wide open what I plan to do. Either I'll try making the jump off sub or continue to taper sub until I'm sub-1mg daily and start skipping days (which is what I did last time I successfully quit all opiates - even bupe - for 3-4 months).
 
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Ugh relapse risk #2.. leaving work to go to the hospital. Seriously considering sniffing a blue. Ugh ugh ugh.
 
Wow BB- I wish you the best of luck! Just a little piece to add to the great advice you have gotten- Getting clean is hard, staying clean is sometimes even harder. Making sure that you surround yourself with people who are living the way you picture your 'sobriety' is really important! You'll need to not have people in your life that can / will offer you another chance to 'escape', from my own experience, this is hard to pass up. It doesn't sound like your oxy is prescribed, so make sure however you are getting is no longer an option. Those bad, hard, depressing days aren't the only days that will get you. Sometimes the celebration, happiness, reward does too!

Don't let anyone tell you you can't do it!
 
Thanks G.R.S.H. I did relapse as I conconcted a litany of excuses as to why it would be okay. The good news is my friends son is beautiful and it was surreal and wonderful to meet his precious child and spend time with his family and friends (most of whom are my friends).

My friends aren't the problem. I am the problem. Like I've mentioned previously, I have hid this addiction from everyone. They are not judgmental (I should say not terribly judgmental.. lol). They would do some oxy occasionally but they are far leaning anti-opiate and would definitely be upset if they knew the extent of my use over the past couple years. My friends are supportive of me going to the gym, staying active, meeting girls, success in my career, going out - all normal things.

My "sobriety" as I see it isn't even necessarily very sober.. lol. Just opiate free (or 99% opiate free - using similar to how my friends use - 2-3 times a year). I understand addiction and my addiction is to opiates and opiates alone. They are my Achilles heel.

Today I relapsed for not so great reasons. I had a craving and it actually subsided, but the "fuck it" kicked in.

I did it in anticipation of celebrating this child's birth, because I got some not so great news at work today (but nothing terrible). Because I wanted to see how much I would feel the oxy while on ~2mg sub (always the intrepid experimentalist ?).

But also because I received news that my friend who successfully completed detox was about to get a bunch of subutex, meaning I'm no longer shit out of luck when the subs I have run out. It was a perfect storm. The call from my friend who was just getting out of detox was completely out of the blue (didn't even know he was in detox lol) and it occurred just as I'm deciding whether or not to relapse. That was the final push I needed to consciously make the wrong decision.

And the truth is, I would have been fine personality-wise at the hospital and afterwards for drinks and a cigar. I knew it too, before I sniffed the blue. I did it anyway.

For the record, this slip-up isn't turning into a full blown relapse. I still want off the shit. I will continue to use tomorrow until ~8pm so I can safely take 2mg sub at 8am the following morning.

Tomorrow is another interesting test.. I was using 5-6 blues a day. Let's see how much perspective and discipline I've really gained this week. I hope to finish tomorrow using less than 3 blues. I won't allow myself to do more than 3, but 2 would be amazing, and if I can get through the day using only one, I will be floored. Then back to sub.

It's going to be a bumpy ride, but I am firmly set on my direction. I knew it was probably a long shot when I began last week that I would go on sub and quit entirely, but it was a possibility. I knew something needed to be done.

Even if my path diverts slightly here and there, I vow to myself that I won't make it worse. That I won't go down that slippery slope. That I will be as disciplined as humanly possible. It's all I can do. The more I maintain this mindset the stronger I will be.

And please continue to support me. Don't look at this relapse as proof that I'm not actually serious about getting off - I am. It's time. I will always shoot for the swiftest conclusion to this chapter, but within the next 2-3 months I will no longer be controlled by this drug. I am getting back in the saddle with the reigns firmly in my hands.
 
Hi, I am lost here and need a bit of help. I don't know how to ask questions or start a new thread. I am trying to quit oxy/heroin and would like some pointers. I understand these are just suggestions and the best person to ask is my doctor, but if anyone has some ideas please lmk!

Okay, so I have Lyrica 100mg, Clonidine 0.1mg, Ambien 10mg, Hydroxizine 25mg, Seroquel 50mg, and Trazadone 100mg. I have quite a few of each, I have heard Lyrica helps a lot but what is it safe to take with? If I am posting in the wrong place please lmk. So, does anyone have any advice on what is the safest and most effective combo to help get me through the WD's? Thanks in advance and I look forward to reading any and all responses!
 
unseenbunny808 said:
Hi, I am lost here and need a bit of help. I don't know how to ask questions or start a new thread. I am trying to quit oxy/heroin and would like some pointers. I understand these are just suggestions and the best person to ask is my doctor, but if anyone has some ideas please lmk!

Okay, so I have Lyrica 100mg, Clonidine 0.1mg, Ambien 10mg, Hydroxizine 25mg, Seroquel 50mg, and Trazadone 100mg. I have quite a few of each, I have heard Lyrica helps a lot but what is it safe to take with? If I am posting in the wrong place please lmk. So, does anyone have any advice on what is the safest and most effective combo to help get me through the WD's? Thanks in advance and I look forward to reading any and all responses!
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Hi, unseen. Welcome to BL! Let me try to clear up some of the questions.

To start a thread (assuming you'd like to post it on the Sober Living forum), go to the Sober Living page (http://www.bluelight.org/vb/forums/269-Sober-Living). Right above where all the threads start, on the left side of the page is a button that says, "New Thread." (If the button doesn't appear, it probably means you aren't logged in.). Just click that button and you're good to go...it will take you to a page where you can write your first post.

In terms of the contents of your post, just give it a title you like and write whatever is on your mind. You'll also see a drop-down menu that lets you give your thread a "prefix." This is totally optional; you can leave it blank. The prefixes are broad categories to help people get the gist of what a thread's topic is.

This is definitely the right place to post these questions, btw.

In terms of your meds and quitting opioids, it sounds like you're pretty well set up. The hydroxazine is unlikely to help much and might actually exacerbate restless legs, so I'd wait to use that till you're needing sleep but past acute WDs. The seroquel is kind of a blunt instrument but it's really fucking strong...it will probably help quite a lot with both anxiety and insomnia (though a more ideal med for the anxiety would be either baclofen or gabapentin). Trazadone has been a miracle for me. Other people report less success with it. But if it helps you sleep, it's nice in that it has a pretty benign side effect profile.

Clonidine is awesome for hot/cold flashes, as well as some other physical discomfort during WDs. But you'll want to be careful to use clonidine as directed...taking too much can lower your blood pressure dangerously.

Lyrica can indeed be very helpful. But I advise strong caution with it. Lyrica can easily lead to its own habit. I'd be very cautious about using this.

Please go ahead and start your own thread so we can be more help. In your thread, it would be great if you could tell us how much and how often you're using, and how (IV?, intra-nasal?, oral?). Also, about how long have you been using?
 
Blueballs69 said:
And please continue to support me. Don't look at this relapse as proof that I'm not actually serious about getting off - I am. It's time. I will always shoot for the swiftest conclusion to this chapter, but within the next 2-3 months I will no longer be controlled by this drug. I am getting back in the saddle with the reigns firmly in my hands.
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Of course, man...we've go your back! Slips happen. I think it's great that you know the difference between a small slip and a full-blown tumble. Just climb back up and keep up the good work.

One piece of advice (and it sounds like you're sort of already doing this)...lapses are great learning experiences. I recommend really thinking about the period of time before you said "fuck it" to try to figure out what went down and how you could do it differently next time. Personally, I always had to start looking back a couple weeks prior to a slip if I really wanted to see where my thinking drifted.
 
My slip was due to a perfect storm of barely passable excuses that taken as a whole was enough to convince my fragile addicted mind that using was a good idea (even though I knew before, during, and after that it was not).

Luckily, I don't think any of my friends are giving birth any time soon (lol) which was a trigger because I knew we would be celebrating, and suboxone dulls any sort of endorphin release, whether from opiates, alcohol, or naturally. It wasn't about doing the oxy - it was because I didn't wanna sit there feeling empty or depressed during what is a joyous moment with close friends.

My triggers and the perpetuation of my addiction can be simplified. Due to my chronic use over many years, if there is ever a time that I need to be "on my game" I will use to ensure that I am in fact on my game. This has numerous applications. Big meeting at work? Date with a beauty? Opportunity for sex? Even social situations with people I am wholly comfortable with - the unfortunate reality is that when this drug digs its claws in deep enough, depression is inevitable.

Besides the fact that I want to be happy in these moments, I have also hid my addiction, so if I'm "off" people will notice. It's fine every once in awhile, but with PAWS it's gonna take a couple months to get back to center. It's hard to string together enough days where I can give myself the leeway to heal properly and function at less than my best. The 8 days clean off full agonists meant 4 days off work and a conscious decision to stay in all weekend (easier said than done with my group of friends).

I know I'm better than where I was last Sunday, however. Not just withdrawal/tolerance wise (and saving money-cannot be understated) but mentally as well. When you fall into that vicious cycle for that duration you cease to have any semblance of control. I won't need to induct at 12mg again. I don't plan to ever take a dose larger than 2mg moving forward. There will probably be another relapse in my future. There may be multiple. But I have booked myself a one way ticket to sobriety, and the train is in motion.
 
Bozo will get this and Einstein will mind-F%#K himself every time. Once I beat myself up enough I stopped overthinking it. It took a zero behind nearly every number that has been posted to get to that point though. I'm pulling for you.
 
I honestly never felt like when I've lapsed it was because I was creating excuses.

Any excuses were really just created to justify something far simpler: I wanted to use, because using - no matter what harms it has causes me - did/does in fact do something for me (whether it's something sustainable, healthy or in line with my broader goals and values is of course another thing).

Exploring the why and what I really get out of using (basically helping me managing my mood, particularly as related to stress/anxiety/socializing) was far more helpful than belittling the (valid) thought process that leads me to using. Figuring out why I used made a big difference in figuring out what strategies I could employ to effectively fill the needs I'd been using to address.
 
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