^for what its worth, the brain is able to heal while using something like buprenorphine or methadone. It's a longer process, sure, but that isn't necessarily a bad thing. Slow and steady tends to win this race.
Now, there is absolutely nothing wrong with pursuing what your want in treatment. If your current efforts don't work out well, there are still lots of options. It isn't an all of nothing thing.
What's probably most important is learning to trust and believe in yourself, your own capacity for growth, your own inherent dignity and capacity for goodness.
I caution you not to treat this like a zero sum game, but if you feel you'd benefit most from conventional outpatient treatment, go for it!
Learning to believe in yourself is a huge part of recovery
That happens when you start realizing you're able to meet mistakes and challenges in a way that transforms them into opportunities for growth. It also comes from succeeding in recovery, however you define it. It doesn't hurt to have people around that at least want to believe in you too, even when you're struggling to do so for yourself.
How do you define success in terms of what you want from recovery? Is it just about not using drugs, or does it (as I'd hope) go beyond questions drug use?
(there is no right or wrong answer to that question)