After over a month of suffering through the pain of trigeminal neuralgia with no painkillers i am finally back on morphine. This may not seem like a good idea to some considering i had a rather bad IV habit for awile and was abusing opiates for a very long time before that but being on morphine is much better then being in agony. Hopefully this time i can manage to not abuse the pills i have and hopefully i won't be chasing a high that is no longer there.
As for the other shit going on in my life such as being stuck back in my hometown, no longer having a g/f (i think? it's rather confusing actually), being majorly depressed and somewhat suicidal suicidal sometimes, trying to stay off the alcohol and do something to stave off the boredom i should be able to work on that now that my pain is finally getting under control.
I am going to start exercising again now that i actually can and hopefully get healthier. I even plan on giving up smoking once the pain and bipolar is under control really well. Giving up cigarettes that is im not giving up my beloved weed
. The thought of doing all this is somewhat scary as ive spent the vast majority of my life completely fucked up on some drug and i certainly was not the type to eat healthy or anything. Now im pretty much not eating any red meat at all and im eating most vegtables. Throw in the soy milk i drink and i might as well be a hippie 
I have to remember that all this will take awile as it's been abit of a rough year and im not going to repair everything in a month. But hopefully i can do it.
As for the other shit going on in my life such as being stuck back in my hometown, no longer having a g/f (i think? it's rather confusing actually), being majorly depressed and somewhat suicidal suicidal sometimes, trying to stay off the alcohol and do something to stave off the boredom i should be able to work on that now that my pain is finally getting under control.
I am going to start exercising again now that i actually can and hopefully get healthier. I even plan on giving up smoking once the pain and bipolar is under control really well. Giving up cigarettes that is im not giving up my beloved weed
. The thought of doing all this is somewhat scary as ive spent the vast majority of my life completely fucked up on some drug and i certainly was not the type to eat healthy or anything. Now im pretty much not eating any red meat at all and im eating most vegtables. Throw in the soy milk i drink and i might as well be a hippie I have to remember that all this will take awile as it's been abit of a rough year and im not going to repair everything in a month. But hopefully i can do it.
