Hello everyone. As the tittle reads, im trying to rid myself of opiates once again and I could really use some support. Blers are a great group of people(most of the time) which is why I come here for encouragement and advice. My family and friends have shunned me away yet again, meaning I must rebuild my life from the ground up.
first off a little background on me. I'm a 21 year old male who has been an opiate addict since I was 16. My addiction started with OxyContin back in highschool. I obviously didnt think much of it at the time because I was young and naive, and I quickly switched to heroin for a better/cheaper high. From 16-19 my addiction only became worse, and by my 20th birthday i had a 2 gram a day habit with several health problems. I was finally arrested in the ghetto of a major american city right after I turned 20. I was jailed, then rehabilitated. After rehab, I started suboxone and it seemed my life was finally getting back on track.
8 months into my sobriety and doing great, something terrible happens. I was rushed to the ER with a severe intestinal knot(Meckel's Diverticulum) and needed to be operated on immediately. Long story short I spent a month in the hospital with several painful complications. I was given IV dilaudid(hydromorphone) every 2 hours for pain. Although I was way past a 10 on the pain scale, the hydromorphone made me remember my addict days and how great it felt to shoot up. I was discharged from the hospital on 20 mg of Oxycodone and a small script of 2mg dilaudid pills for breakthrough pain.
Well its been almost a year now since my surgery and i'm still on any pain med I can get. After the doctors cut me off, I continued to buy any painkiller I could possibly get off the black market(hydrocodone, oxycodone, roxis, ms contin, dilaudid ect ect). I've lost my girlfriend, my family, and my friends all over again.
Yesterday I finally made the decision to go back on suboxone. My mind has been telling me to entertain the needle once again and im desperate to keep myself away from heroin. My pill addiction is bad enough, and I know ill die if I go back to heroin. I'm so sad and depressed because everyone I know has shunned me away due to my recurring drug problems. Im not a bad person. I love life and wish to get back on track. I miss the little things about life that you dont notice when your sole objective is to get high.
Here I am, confiding in bluelighters in hopes that I can get the support I need to quit my opiate addiction for good and finally live a normal life. I know several of you know what im going through and wont stigmatize me as a low bottom dope fiend. I appreciate that. I see the doctor to get my suboxone on monday, which means I have 4 days to go. Wish me luck. Thanks everyone.
first off a little background on me. I'm a 21 year old male who has been an opiate addict since I was 16. My addiction started with OxyContin back in highschool. I obviously didnt think much of it at the time because I was young and naive, and I quickly switched to heroin for a better/cheaper high. From 16-19 my addiction only became worse, and by my 20th birthday i had a 2 gram a day habit with several health problems. I was finally arrested in the ghetto of a major american city right after I turned 20. I was jailed, then rehabilitated. After rehab, I started suboxone and it seemed my life was finally getting back on track.
8 months into my sobriety and doing great, something terrible happens. I was rushed to the ER with a severe intestinal knot(Meckel's Diverticulum) and needed to be operated on immediately. Long story short I spent a month in the hospital with several painful complications. I was given IV dilaudid(hydromorphone) every 2 hours for pain. Although I was way past a 10 on the pain scale, the hydromorphone made me remember my addict days and how great it felt to shoot up. I was discharged from the hospital on 20 mg of Oxycodone and a small script of 2mg dilaudid pills for breakthrough pain.
Well its been almost a year now since my surgery and i'm still on any pain med I can get. After the doctors cut me off, I continued to buy any painkiller I could possibly get off the black market(hydrocodone, oxycodone, roxis, ms contin, dilaudid ect ect). I've lost my girlfriend, my family, and my friends all over again.
Yesterday I finally made the decision to go back on suboxone. My mind has been telling me to entertain the needle once again and im desperate to keep myself away from heroin. My pill addiction is bad enough, and I know ill die if I go back to heroin. I'm so sad and depressed because everyone I know has shunned me away due to my recurring drug problems. Im not a bad person. I love life and wish to get back on track. I miss the little things about life that you dont notice when your sole objective is to get high.
Here I am, confiding in bluelighters in hopes that I can get the support I need to quit my opiate addiction for good and finally live a normal life. I know several of you know what im going through and wont stigmatize me as a low bottom dope fiend. I appreciate that. I see the doctor to get my suboxone on monday, which means I have 4 days to go. Wish me luck. Thanks everyone.
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It sucks but we can get through it!