sackynut
Bluelighter
Im bored so I guess Ill post my first experience with psychedelics (besides Salvia Divinorum), specifically LSD, that triggered what most docs have told me is an extreme case of generalized anxiety disorder.
Im mainly writing this report for informative purposes for anyone out there interested in the topic of long-term psychedelic effects or for someone who has had something similar happen to them.
Just a little info: since this experience, Ive done numerous psychs and other drugs as well. none have really made my problem worse, and sometimes they help me deal with it. In some cases (benzos) they are almost needed!
Long story short I tried some AMAZING LSD for the first time, and a week later tried about an 8th of shrooms for the first time my senior year of high school. Both had their scary aspects, but in retrospect both experiences were just beautiful! I felt sort of out of it after each trip, but nothing too extreme. However while on the mushrooms there was a period of about 30 minutes were my vision was flashing in frames much like during an extreme panic attack (which I now have ALSO experienced.) Anyways... you guys have done acid and shrooms before no need writing a trip report. Its important to note though that my problems started occuring about 2 weeks after these trips, and that during my trips I came to many realizations that made me pretty depressed (such as leaving my friends and family, not getting into the one university I had my heart set on).
About another week after that I went to a party with some friends. I was burnt out from doing drugs at this point and didnt want to try psychs for at least another month or two. We got pretty drunk and I ended up walking to my house piss drunk.
When I woke up in the morning I had to vomit like no other. I had experienced that from drinking before, but I was known for having a pretty iron stomach. I could get piss drunk, wake up 5 hours later and be starving for some denny's!
This time was different. I had no appetite. I would vomit, feel "normal" for about 6 or 7 minutes and then be sent into another cycle of nausea.THe nausea would last about 20 minutes and then I would vomit. After 3 hours of this I literally had nothing in my stomach and I would just dry heave. My appetite was in the crapper, and if I took a sip of sprite (which I thought would help) it would send me into a vomiting cycle much quicker.
My mother figured I was just hung over and didnt care much. I was in pure hell. I didnt want to move, I didnt want to talk to anyone, I didnt want to eat. I wanted to die because it would get ride of this constant nausea.
Luckily my mother left for a bit so I had the opportunity to smoke some weed. One rip from my pipe, and my nausea was INSTANTLY gone. On top of that my appetite immediatly came back and I proceeded to eat 2 meals worth of food. Of course I just told my mother that the nausea went away, but deep down I was a little worried.
The next morning I woke up early noxious again and went through the same vomiting cycle. It didnt stop cycling me through personal hell until I smoked some weed.
So this continued every day, slowly getting worse. It started with morning nasuea and vomting that continued until the late morning. Couples with loss of appetite until late in the day, and daylong nausea.
The trend continued until I would have nausea and vomting UNTIL I smoked marijuana, and no appetite whatsoever 24/7 unless I was high on marijuana.
Eating food would set off a vomiting cycle the INSTANT it hit my stomach.
So I started self medicating like crazy, and also living through HELL when I wasnt high. I would only wish this constant feeling on someone if they raped my daughter or something. I wanted to die, and I wasnt depressed or anything like that. It was purely from the physcial.
I did some research and found that it could be anything from stomach/gastric ulcers, to stomach cancer to something called cyclical vomiting syndrome. I was pretty scared. Especially because the marijuana medication rules out an ulcer (marijuana wouldnt really affect nausea caused by ulceration.)
Coincidently, I did these psychs about a month before I was to start college, and keep in mind Ive always had some minor social anxiety, which Im sure had some latent extremism attached.
I moved up to college and my problem persisted, getting worse. I couldnt eat at the dining halls unless I was high. I couldnt go to class unless I was high, or I would have to leave multiple times throughout lecture to vomit. Not to mention taking notes and learning while you are noxious isnt very easy.
I blazed (literally) through thousands of dollars self medicating myself so that I could keep my weight up and make it to class.
I would wake up around 6:30 AM (early as hell for me), the times changed, and my best guess it that I woke up when the marijuana's anti-nauseating effects wore off. So I would wake up early, and have two choices: 1. Sit in bed in personal hell until I threw up, go back to sleep and repeat the same process in 30 minutes. or 2. get up and smoke a bowl in my room before I threw up. Luckily for me I went to a school that made it very easy and laid back to smoke weed in the dorms. And luckily my roomies didnt care toooo much. (it ended up driving one to get a new roomate halfway through the year though.)
Sometimes I didnt smoke a bowl quick enough and vomiting all over my room. Sometimes I would cough from the smoke and the coughing's effect on my stomach would send me into a cycle for 30 minutes.
On top of this I was getting anxiety attacks in class, even in my room. And I was losing weight FAST.
So finally I went to the doctor. I had some crazy fantasy in my head that I would get a prescription for marinol. (ha) I got sent to a GI doc who did an upper endoscopy. I got pumped full of drugs and had a camera sent down my throat. After the procedure he told me there was really nothing wrong at all inside of my GI tract and my stomach, and that nothing physically seemed to be causing this. I asked about getting a marinol Rx and he laughed.
After many more doctor visits and some discussion about my past we decided it was most likely anxiety caused by moving away to school. I got an Rx for Zofran (which I might add is a GODSEND) and some Ativan.
Eventually i was put on paxil, xanax, klonopin, mirtazapine and zofran.
My problems didnt get much better and the drugs made other problems worse. I didnt wake up for class in time because of the mirtazapine. I couldnt reach an orgasm because of the paxil... etc.
My drugs have been switched around here and there but im still on SSRIs, mirtazapine and benzos.
So after maybe 6 months trying these drugs, and STILL having to smoke weed for my problems I decided fuck it! These drugs are worse for my ass than weed.
Since then Ive been self medicating daily. My problems have become MUCH more under control because I have settled into my city, made great friends and had some super fun experiences (many on drugs) that probably acclamaited my brain to reality a little more.
However, I still sometimes get noxious in the morning..occasionally vomiting. My appetite doesnt exist until about 2 PM, and doesnt become anything legitimate until like 6PM *unless im high*. I get anxiety throughout the day but I live with it. I do my benzos here and there but try to remain as sober besides marijuana as I can.
Ive improved significantly since being of the RX's, but my brain still feels like a switch has been flipped the wrong way, and only being high on weed flips it back to "normal" for a few hours.
Weight is impossible to gain, and extremely hard to keep on. Drugs and alcohol now DESTROY my stomach and I cannot drink as much because I will vomit all night and all morning. (unless Im high when im drinking).
Ive also started getting depressed occasionally. I went into school wanting to get into bio research, and now I dont care anymore. I dont care about anything besides not being noxious. Ive lost all motivation.
Thats all I can really think of. If you got any questions or comments feel free!
Peace.
Im mainly writing this report for informative purposes for anyone out there interested in the topic of long-term psychedelic effects or for someone who has had something similar happen to them.
Just a little info: since this experience, Ive done numerous psychs and other drugs as well. none have really made my problem worse, and sometimes they help me deal with it. In some cases (benzos) they are almost needed!
Long story short I tried some AMAZING LSD for the first time, and a week later tried about an 8th of shrooms for the first time my senior year of high school. Both had their scary aspects, but in retrospect both experiences were just beautiful! I felt sort of out of it after each trip, but nothing too extreme. However while on the mushrooms there was a period of about 30 minutes were my vision was flashing in frames much like during an extreme panic attack (which I now have ALSO experienced.) Anyways... you guys have done acid and shrooms before no need writing a trip report. Its important to note though that my problems started occuring about 2 weeks after these trips, and that during my trips I came to many realizations that made me pretty depressed (such as leaving my friends and family, not getting into the one university I had my heart set on).
About another week after that I went to a party with some friends. I was burnt out from doing drugs at this point and didnt want to try psychs for at least another month or two. We got pretty drunk and I ended up walking to my house piss drunk.
When I woke up in the morning I had to vomit like no other. I had experienced that from drinking before, but I was known for having a pretty iron stomach. I could get piss drunk, wake up 5 hours later and be starving for some denny's!
This time was different. I had no appetite. I would vomit, feel "normal" for about 6 or 7 minutes and then be sent into another cycle of nausea.THe nausea would last about 20 minutes and then I would vomit. After 3 hours of this I literally had nothing in my stomach and I would just dry heave. My appetite was in the crapper, and if I took a sip of sprite (which I thought would help) it would send me into a vomiting cycle much quicker.
My mother figured I was just hung over and didnt care much. I was in pure hell. I didnt want to move, I didnt want to talk to anyone, I didnt want to eat. I wanted to die because it would get ride of this constant nausea.
Luckily my mother left for a bit so I had the opportunity to smoke some weed. One rip from my pipe, and my nausea was INSTANTLY gone. On top of that my appetite immediatly came back and I proceeded to eat 2 meals worth of food. Of course I just told my mother that the nausea went away, but deep down I was a little worried.
The next morning I woke up early noxious again and went through the same vomiting cycle. It didnt stop cycling me through personal hell until I smoked some weed.
So this continued every day, slowly getting worse. It started with morning nasuea and vomting that continued until the late morning. Couples with loss of appetite until late in the day, and daylong nausea.
The trend continued until I would have nausea and vomting UNTIL I smoked marijuana, and no appetite whatsoever 24/7 unless I was high on marijuana.
Eating food would set off a vomiting cycle the INSTANT it hit my stomach.
So I started self medicating like crazy, and also living through HELL when I wasnt high. I would only wish this constant feeling on someone if they raped my daughter or something. I wanted to die, and I wasnt depressed or anything like that. It was purely from the physcial.
I did some research and found that it could be anything from stomach/gastric ulcers, to stomach cancer to something called cyclical vomiting syndrome. I was pretty scared. Especially because the marijuana medication rules out an ulcer (marijuana wouldnt really affect nausea caused by ulceration.)
Coincidently, I did these psychs about a month before I was to start college, and keep in mind Ive always had some minor social anxiety, which Im sure had some latent extremism attached.
I moved up to college and my problem persisted, getting worse. I couldnt eat at the dining halls unless I was high. I couldnt go to class unless I was high, or I would have to leave multiple times throughout lecture to vomit. Not to mention taking notes and learning while you are noxious isnt very easy.
I blazed (literally) through thousands of dollars self medicating myself so that I could keep my weight up and make it to class.
I would wake up around 6:30 AM (early as hell for me), the times changed, and my best guess it that I woke up when the marijuana's anti-nauseating effects wore off. So I would wake up early, and have two choices: 1. Sit in bed in personal hell until I threw up, go back to sleep and repeat the same process in 30 minutes. or 2. get up and smoke a bowl in my room before I threw up. Luckily for me I went to a school that made it very easy and laid back to smoke weed in the dorms. And luckily my roomies didnt care toooo much. (it ended up driving one to get a new roomate halfway through the year though.)
Sometimes I didnt smoke a bowl quick enough and vomiting all over my room. Sometimes I would cough from the smoke and the coughing's effect on my stomach would send me into a cycle for 30 minutes.
On top of this I was getting anxiety attacks in class, even in my room. And I was losing weight FAST.
So finally I went to the doctor. I had some crazy fantasy in my head that I would get a prescription for marinol. (ha) I got sent to a GI doc who did an upper endoscopy. I got pumped full of drugs and had a camera sent down my throat. After the procedure he told me there was really nothing wrong at all inside of my GI tract and my stomach, and that nothing physically seemed to be causing this. I asked about getting a marinol Rx and he laughed.
After many more doctor visits and some discussion about my past we decided it was most likely anxiety caused by moving away to school. I got an Rx for Zofran (which I might add is a GODSEND) and some Ativan.
Eventually i was put on paxil, xanax, klonopin, mirtazapine and zofran.
My problems didnt get much better and the drugs made other problems worse. I didnt wake up for class in time because of the mirtazapine. I couldnt reach an orgasm because of the paxil... etc.
My drugs have been switched around here and there but im still on SSRIs, mirtazapine and benzos.
So after maybe 6 months trying these drugs, and STILL having to smoke weed for my problems I decided fuck it! These drugs are worse for my ass than weed.
Since then Ive been self medicating daily. My problems have become MUCH more under control because I have settled into my city, made great friends and had some super fun experiences (many on drugs) that probably acclamaited my brain to reality a little more.
However, I still sometimes get noxious in the morning..occasionally vomiting. My appetite doesnt exist until about 2 PM, and doesnt become anything legitimate until like 6PM *unless im high*. I get anxiety throughout the day but I live with it. I do my benzos here and there but try to remain as sober besides marijuana as I can.
Ive improved significantly since being of the RX's, but my brain still feels like a switch has been flipped the wrong way, and only being high on weed flips it back to "normal" for a few hours.
Weight is impossible to gain, and extremely hard to keep on. Drugs and alcohol now DESTROY my stomach and I cannot drink as much because I will vomit all night and all morning. (unless Im high when im drinking).
Ive also started getting depressed occasionally. I went into school wanting to get into bio research, and now I dont care anymore. I dont care about anything besides not being noxious. Ive lost all motivation.
Thats all I can really think of. If you got any questions or comments feel free!
Peace.
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