Funny story - (only short)

[Lulu]

Anyone remember that mad paranoia you used to get when you smoked when you were about 15? Well, I live on the north-side of Brisbane, where a mad gunman is hiding out somewhere. Last night there were helicopters overhead, police sirens screaming around everywhere, and to make it worse, the drunked fuckwits that live over the road were having another party - loudly. Bent off my tits, I was picturing myself in Britain during World War II with bombs falling, planes overhead, etc. etc. Not to mention the fact that I was determined that the mad gunman was hiding out on my back deck. I was too scared to leave my bedroom, and had all the curtains drawn so that not a speck of outside could be seen as I was sure he was looking in, waiting to take me hostage. Then, I decided to spill the bong water all over the carpet - (we're talking really dirty bong water). However, too scared to open any windows, the smell simply festered and festered all night. Woke up to the most DISGUSTING smelling bedroom.

 

[candyflip]

This is like...SO FUCKING O.T. now..but anyway, just quickly....
Does anyone else think that the 'karate scene' that Jim Carey does in the restaurant in "Dumb & Dumber", might just enter the Top 10 Funniest Moments On Film (straight OR stoned) Of All Time?....
everytime I see it, my jaw hurts for days from smiling and laughing so hard and I can go through..like...a BOX of tissues...
it's quite sad I suppose..

Sometimes I'm amazed how amused I am by infantilism...but at least I know I have some growing up to do (thank god!)
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The latest Event info, Pill Tests and Club Listings, online: http://www.the-peak.com.au

 

[mona]

I'm stoned now and I just laughed out loud so fucking hard.. *cough* *splutter*
hehehe " I have no tits!!!" BWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA...
that's good comedy man.

 

[flutter]

OK i want to tell a funny stoned story from when i was 15 tooo!!
Thinking.....Thinking.
Ok got one.
There was about 6 of us smoking in a park one night. This park is right next to a freeway on a big hill. Suddenly one of my friends looks up on the hill and sees a policeman. We all see him in the distance and all freak but are too scared to move, convinced we are surrounded or something. We sit there freaked and as still as stones (he he) for like 20 mins when we suddenly realise there is no police but rather a blue sign about water levels or something. feeling really stupid we go home!!!!
Ok so it's like a location thing but a swear it was really funny!!!!!

 

[johnboy]

here's a story i told in a thread a while back in 2K which fits in with the original story in this thread...
a short cautionary tale from way back in the eighties....
a frend of a frend asked his dealer once "why does all the hash i buy from you occasionally have small bits of gold leaf on one side?"
"come with me" says the dealer and shows him a closet stacked top to bottom with what looked like solid gold bowls. the dealer explains that they are hash pressed into the shape of bowls and then covered with gold leaf and smuggled from afghanistan.
fast forward to a few months later.
this dealer finds himself in the bad books of certain bad cops. apparently he isnt bribing
them enuf. so word comes down that he is to be raided. he does what any one would do in this situation and dumps the stuff at the local tip. 100 kilos of it.
the next day's paper gives details of the police raid and the subsequent discovery of
the hash at the tip. headline reads "hash found: all 30 kilos recovered"
and for the next 5 years when ever you bought hash from certain people, there was always a li'l bit of gold leaf on one side...
here endeth the lesson
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.... he who makes a beast of himself, rids himself of the pain of being a man...

 

[Stylin]

im sitting here pretty ripped right now, thinking of all the funny stories ive got, i know i have them somewhere, just some are so hard to remember.......
anyhow one time we went out and got ripped in a school at night, we ended up punching on top of the school cricket nets till we were too stoned to climb down anyhows we accepted this and continued punching till we conked out (3 of us and a quart, my my my how silly) so then we are woken up by a junior cricket graciously throwing cricket balls at as, my friend got hit in the nose with one and got a nose bleed, we were still stoned as we only greened out for an hour, we smoked for a longggg time, so anywhoz my friends got his nose bleeding and we are packing it cause we dont want to get hit by cricket balls. So's we have the billies (there were 2) and bowl and cones and shit going everywhere and like the local dads are watching us and laughing and they all know like our dads and shit. pointless no ??????? yes it is pointless i am sorry

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its that feeling you get....oh yeah Fukitzpumpin!!!
[This message has been edited by Stylin (edited 13 May 2000).]

 

[Big D Man]

I've got a funny one from Easter '99.
I've taken a week off work with about 10 of my friends for some hard-core camping, drugs and debauchery on the Murray River nearby Cobram on the NSW side of the border. I'd been smoking cones most of the day and my Hoffman had just kicked in...I am now tripping hard and feeling a wee bit paranoid from the pot.
We were running perilously low on beer, and the bottle shops in NSW were closed, so I conned my mate Rob into a quick foray back to Victoria to pick up supplies.(mainly ice & beer)
I'm in the passenger seat, peaking, and carrying alot of substances that I should have left back at camp. As we cross the bridge to enter Victoria, I look ahead and see a sight that throws my paranoia into overdrive...
"Holy shit Rob, it's a fu#king Police road block!" I yell.
"Turn this mothefu#ker around, they won't be able to bust us if we split back to NSW!"
So my mate Rob throws his car into a high speed 180 degree turn and we motor back into NSW, spraying a cloud of dust virtually into the faces of these Victorian cops that appeared to be stopping everyone as they entered Victoria over the bridge.
When we returned back to camp much earlier than expected we were pumped...lot's of high-fives and a bit of boasting about our near capture and daring escape from the evil police.
The beer supplies were still perilously low so we sent some of the girls on a liquor run and sat around the campfire, recalling the tale which grew more danger-laden with every retelling.
When the girls returned to camp sometime later, after using the same route to fetch the supplies , they were laughing their a$$es off...It turned out that the uniformed men with lights on the top of their cars were actually from the State Emergency Service and were collecting charity donations for some type of Easter Appeal!
Ooops!

 

[dil8dpupil]

Ok i have a couple of short funny stoned story's for you!
well they are funny 2 me but might just turn out to be those (you had 2 be there type)haha
the latest one happened the other night when my brother was soo smashed and went to call out to my dog roxy, instead he said woof!!
can you fuking believe it, woof we laughed so hard for soo long! haha
another time me and my friend we playing granturismo on playstation very wacked, we were racing each other and fully getting into it, I looked down to the bottom screen to see where she was and found that she was slowly drifting off into the wall, i thought WTF and looked over at her to find that she had fully crashed out in the middle of the game!
another time we went for a mobile smoke, after we went through the drive through at macca's, my friend thought she would crack us up and asked for a camgib meal, we all burst out laughing and the stupid girl at the window didnt even know what it was, it took us 5 mins to "get over it" and order hahahahaha
well ill leave it at that cause as i said they are probably those (u had to be there ones)LOL so yeah going going gone............

 

[cruise_e]

This is funny story from one of my old amns mates but certainly has a place here.
My dad bought this old guys house and built some units on the land, the old guy is now 94 and at the time they where building he stayed with my dad and my dad made a deal with him and has stuck to his word for over 5 years and visits the old guy about twice a week to check up on him and for a bit of company.
Anyway over the last few months my dads been really really falt out so he has had one of his mates check up on the old guy.
Well it turns out that my dads mate is an ex raver from believe it the mid eighties in new york, anyway him and the old guy formed quite a bond and get along exaptionally well.
So well in fact that my dads mate took the old guy for a cruise on fairstar the funship or whatever its called.
On one particular night they have a big party and it's the cross dress night.
My dads mate gets the old guy into a dress, fishnet stockings,wig etc and they hit the party. Anyway the old guy gets up on stage and evryone on the boat is in hysteric laughter at the sight and to make things even funnier he did this trick with his false teeth where he pushes them out flips them around and sucks them back in.
The old guy one the prize for best costume and for the rest of the cruise the girls where coming up to him to say hi and he would say give us a kiss on th echeek love and they would and he turned at the last sec so it was on the lips.
To cap things off they got off the boat in sydney and partyed at the gay and lebian mardi gra and the old guy was very open minded and had what he described as the time of his life.