Fun New Post: Falling in Love on E - Anyone?

the third time i rolled whith my girlfriend was the one that defenetly make us much more clser and we have truly falled in love...I felt something strong that night that i really can't explain it, we where going out but it was like a fribulous relationship, till then when we rolled thogether, i just bluntly told here everything i really felt for her, she was like very surprised to all that i told her that night, i eaven started crying cuz it was like so strong that emotion...and that was like 6 months ago... and the relationship keeps getting better and stronger..... i love you POKY!!!!!!
 
LUCKY FLUTTER - a free EEEEE. Wish I could get a freebie sometime!!!!
Now, I have a few quick things to say....(this thread is getting REAL ineresting - it's getting me thinking). I love this board!!!
CalRaver wrote about calling people on E 'little Adolf' [I love you little Adolf] - when on E......mmmm well THIS got me thinking. Why can't we love Adolf? Why do we hate him soooo (the 'we' includes me here as I would normally have agreed with this)?
Do we hate what he did or do we hate him?.. Or do we displace our own responsibilty for doing 'bad' things in seeing it in him????
Perhaps we really love to hate Adolf. Maybe some of us hate ourselves or are afraid that we are not sooo great ourselves...and yet how reassuring to have an Adolf who can be hated for being WORSE than us??? Perhaps that makes us better? But if we scapegoat Adolf as 'the ultimate in evil' are we not as guilty of him as his main crime was scapegoating the 'evils' in society (Jews were the evil in his eyes I believe - they were his 'Adolf'). (Pls note I am not saying waht Adolf did was good.....)
I think the world would be a better place if we all stopped having to see 'Adolfs' in other people (us versus them). Adolf is in all of us...share in the responsibilty...claim it as your own...can you still love yourself with a bit of 'Adolf' and if you can then why can't you love Adolf'? What is Adolf - someone who did things - or someone who represents something???? What does he represent?
To us? What purpose does his represntation have in our minds? Why 'I love you Adolf' ...why not 'I love you dad' or 'I love you {add name of someone you KNOW you hate - try a work mate who is arse licking their way to the top - you know the one)'
Anyone following this? I'm certainly not sure I do but it is fun nonetheless asking the questions. Hope someone reads all this and feels like letting me know what they think...I am having FUN.
I believe perhaps CalRaver, like many of us, is expressing the FEAR that we have around love with his Adolf statement... It's like 'I love you Adolf' is like ' I love you - no I don't really I am just saying that because I am on E and will get over it in the morning' - that said 'phew!!!' I would hate for my 'Adolf' friend to wake up in the morning and say 'I don't really love you I was just Eing' - you know before I got it in first.
Now this has happened to me lots. I tell someone I love / like them and they won't say it back (choose not to) or act like 'it was just the E talking'. (And I have told people I love them WHILE NOT ON E!! - even riskier ahh I mean what do I use as my way out then if they don't reply - which they often don't?). I have also had people be very friendly on a night out and later won't even cuddle me!!!
You know what I do - NOTHING. The sad thing is when someone 'rejects' you in this manner it is themselves they reject. It is themselves who suffers....I learnt this after doing it. When I said 'I love you' and they said nothing I realised it was THEM who was losing out..and for them I felt sad. I wish they could choose to say 'I love you' (and mean it). But when they can't I see that as NO reflection on me at all. I think people must be out of their minds not to want to love me - I am sooo lovable!!!! As are we all.
Don't be afraid of rejection. Love and fear are what drives us (I think). We hold back from loving because we fear....But there is nothing to fear as the one who chooses to not love you back...it is their soul that suffers NOT YOURS. You do not suffer from loving!!!!!
Come on guys.....E shows us the TRUTH that everything is lovable - everything. That is distinct from behaviours and actions which are often not lovable. Even on E I would not love someone treating someone else badly at all!!
LOVE LOVE LOVE...for what have we/ I/ you to lose??? REALLY!!!! If one person decides in the morning they don't love you - so F*cking what? What would they know? Don't you love yourself enough to know how magnificant you are? How deserving of love you are? I say this is the problem...you think YOU are ADOLF!! Perhaps you are ..perhaps not. Love yourself and then when on E just say 'I Love You' and expect nought back - for THAT is LOVE. Give and don't concern yourself with getting back... How sacrry that the one you love may turn out to be an 'Adolf'...but what does that mean? Is Adolf really not worthy of love? How scarry if you beleive it is so as then you are truly commited to the notion that there is ONLY conditional love in the world and that you must be 'good' in order to be loved. What the fuck is that?? If I have to wait to be good to be loved I'd be waiting a f*cking long time!!! No thanks.. I want to be loved as I am...warts and all...
Easier said than done of course because I am the WORST at that. Do I expect favours back??? Am I the queen of resentment? YES...but I am learning and step one is learning to say 'I love you' and 'I love me' without any 'buts' 'ands' or 'maybes'. If you know what I mean?
E just keeps reminding me of how lovable everyone is and therefore how silly my condemnations and criticisms are (of me and others)- REALLY THEY ARE STUPID.
I love you all.......(scarry...). Maybe I should save that for the chill out room....What if some ares hole gets on the board and says 'f*ck off' you idiot - 'how could anyone love you'...then I'll....laugh... because it will be FUNNY!!
I challenge you ...love - and see what happens? Your fears are of little - I learnt his just recently...
 
hm... well I don't know if I ever fell in LOVE on E but my ex boyfriend - who had been my boyfriend for 3 years- off and on had NEVER EVER told me that he was in love with me. Then after we broke up- we didn't talk to eachother for about 3months, but because I'm friends with his friends- we ended up going to a rave together ( that was my first time dropping E). There- he finally told me that he loved me all along, but never really wanted to tell me. I remember the words exactly "I don't think I've ever told you how much I love you. I regretted everyday for the past few months that I broke up with you. I don't want you to think that I'm saying this becaue I'm on E or because of the effects of E because I have felt this the whole time. I love you with all my heart" WOW - this was the guy that never ever expressed his feelings. I don't think the love you feel on E is fake- I just think it makes you do things that normally you might be afraid to do. SO MUCH LOVE IN THE AIR!! I am not with him right now - because I'm all the way in Japan- but I still care about him so much and we still keep in touch.
PLUR
I wish somehow I could meet each one of you blue lighters!!
 
Thanks liquidocean... for making me realize what kind of a fool I am. The man I posted about in this thread ended up breaking my heart.
Falling in love on e is nothing but a fucking joke.
Thanks again for the rehash of bad memories.
frown.gif

------------------
I have looked all the places you aren't...I just can't find the places you are...I only know you are where I am not.
I need you to find me.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top