Fuckin' Weekend

I have been using pretty hard since my girl left. Shooting coke, poppin E, chewing percs, drinkin' and smokin' weed.

This weekend I'll only be drinking. This poses a problem. I haven't been dealing with the loss of the woman I love so I expect all the emotions and feelings of loss will be hitting me at once.

I don't know if I'll be able to handle the onslaught of emotions that will most likely hit me hardcore.

Oh well... just gotta prepare myself the best I can.

She has been reading my blogs but I no longer care. I need to post to help deal with things. I need to post honestly as well so that I can get honest advice/opinions from others just like me.

 

I'm in the same boat you are mate.

I've just been trowing myself at working out, reading, and shit to keep me busy. thinking of how much money I save and the freedom I get from no GF is also pretty good, fuck, I actually get to do and enjoy the drugs I paid for, instead of watch someone suck em up!

but just hold your head up high and remember your fucking as good/worthy a human as any, and fuck her, enjoy your self.

 

"remember your fucking as good/worthy a human as any, and fuck her, enjoy your self."

That's real supportive rangrz....I was his girl...I told him and still think he is more than good, more than worthy than most people on this fucking planet. He just needs to learn and deal with why he does them so he DOESN'T FUCKING KILL HIMSELF, which I fear dealing with because I have to be their for my 2 kids, for they come first...so FUCK YOU rangrz and enjoy your drugs.

 

And please, don't ever stop journaling because of me...this is a source of relief, expression and support for you. I do not judge you. Just hope you get better. I just check in from time to time out of concern for you.

 

OD- I am so sorry to hear this........
I'm not really sure I understand what happened between you and your exgf- but please be careful with everything..........and you are right, you are going to deal with the emotions sooner or later......and usually the longer you self medicate the harder dealing with them will be-
Good Luck- PM me if you ever want to vent out of the public eye.

 

ah- just read your other blog.......
where it is clear why you and your gf broke up.......
Do you want to be with her still?
Did she say whether or not there was a chance for the two of you if you were too quit?

 

'M' was the woman I thought would be the last. She had every reason in the world to leave. I made a choice. Real bad one

Rangrz seems cool. Thats just how dudes help other dudes out.

 

M- as overdone said, thats just guy-guy support...ut I stand by the statement he is as worthy as you. People are equal. no one is better then anyone else. thats all.

also rangrz is semi insane and a tweaker, he is prone to say whatever the fuck he wants, when he wants.

however, I hope both of you can work it out, and if not, best wishes to both of you...

the 'fuck her' was more in the meaning like, get over/forget about it. if its truly over. not an insult at you.

i.e. "corporal, this truck wont start....fuck that truck, lets take the other one instead"

 

mishy I dont see why you are worrying about wat other ppl is sayin or feelin the need to defend yourself if you are right. If youre right who give a fuck wat ppl say. When you got a friend and they feelin down cuz they broke up you say, Fuck him/her. it only makes u look shitty for gettin all uppity about it. I understand its a shitty situation but leavin someone when they are down is the worst thing you can do it just makes it worse. You that worried, wait til you find out the shit they been doin when you was gone. I kno that from my own experience. man left me cuz i was shootin dope, so I shot more dope and got worse and worse. it dont help the person to leave them driftin in a sea of their own misery yo...just somethin to think about