I have always taken lsd here and there, and have tried different psychedelics. Heard about DMT several times but never done my own research. An opportunity came up as I was in town for a wedding. I took DMT, my sitter did not measure it out but eyed it.
I did not know what to expect or what I will see.
As soon as the smoke hit my lungs, my world crashed and starting from my peripheral view, everything started pixelating fast.
Zooming past entities I recall similar to shamans, I heard weird noises, eventually hitting rock bottom. Fog, fog was everywhere, every "door" I tried to open led to more fog. Stuck in a grey zone which I connected to some kind of purgatory I was stuck staring at another mind of consciousness. We knew we were here for an eternity, not knowing why we were created and condemned in that cruel world but we kept looking at each other knowing this is all that existed. My mind racing but I couldn't scream, just there... Spinning looking at the other...we kept repeating why... What... Why why are we here who...
Eventually I think the trip is coming to an end, but not before I saw my friends, family surrounding me, gasping, screaming, telling me not to move anymore. Begging. I felt blood / foam everywhere on me. I hit the ground, and saw the cops over my body. My brother, crying. Someone just said " he is gone... He is gone... That's it." I was out of my body and looking down as all this happened. One of my last thought was damn.. I fucked up, life so fragile just like that.. ( I was teleporting everywhere, but my body couldn't handle where my soul was flying to, causing the ultimate rupture of everything)
I came out from my stiffness in reality close to tears and wasn't sure if my friends and family watching over me was real, as I thought I died. My sitter had his hand over me comforting me telling me it's okay, take my time.
It's been two days now and I still get goosebumps. The first day after I couldn't handle reality and felt my body, soul, and mind all misaligned. Eventually (now) after sleeps and numerous talks with people close to me, I am mentally strong enough to talk about my DMT trip and what I maybe learned from it.
Growing up, my two biggest fears were always death / emptiness. The void, and both my fears were tossed in one trip. I don't know if the world I was condemned to exists or not exists in this vast universe, but I understand not every living thing is lucky enough to be born in a beautiful world. In some way I've also learned that I may have to change the ways I do things in life and maybe take a second and think about my actions.
It was a nightmare, but it is getting better. I wish I have done research and mentally prepared for myself even though I feel humble (but scared).
I understand now, what it means to show respect and humility to DMT, and the mistakes I have made treating it as any other psychedelics. I'm still fighting the demons at night in my dreams.
Please do research and learn ways to prepare for DMT. It is life changing, but again, should be treated with respect. I hope you guys don't judge me too hard as I am trying to share my experience of complete death. If you've had a scary experience, let me know how you coped with it after coming back to earth.
I did not know what to expect or what I will see.
As soon as the smoke hit my lungs, my world crashed and starting from my peripheral view, everything started pixelating fast.
Zooming past entities I recall similar to shamans, I heard weird noises, eventually hitting rock bottom. Fog, fog was everywhere, every "door" I tried to open led to more fog. Stuck in a grey zone which I connected to some kind of purgatory I was stuck staring at another mind of consciousness. We knew we were here for an eternity, not knowing why we were created and condemned in that cruel world but we kept looking at each other knowing this is all that existed. My mind racing but I couldn't scream, just there... Spinning looking at the other...we kept repeating why... What... Why why are we here who...
Eventually I think the trip is coming to an end, but not before I saw my friends, family surrounding me, gasping, screaming, telling me not to move anymore. Begging. I felt blood / foam everywhere on me. I hit the ground, and saw the cops over my body. My brother, crying. Someone just said " he is gone... He is gone... That's it." I was out of my body and looking down as all this happened. One of my last thought was damn.. I fucked up, life so fragile just like that.. ( I was teleporting everywhere, but my body couldn't handle where my soul was flying to, causing the ultimate rupture of everything)
I came out from my stiffness in reality close to tears and wasn't sure if my friends and family watching over me was real, as I thought I died. My sitter had his hand over me comforting me telling me it's okay, take my time.
It's been two days now and I still get goosebumps. The first day after I couldn't handle reality and felt my body, soul, and mind all misaligned. Eventually (now) after sleeps and numerous talks with people close to me, I am mentally strong enough to talk about my DMT trip and what I maybe learned from it.
Growing up, my two biggest fears were always death / emptiness. The void, and both my fears were tossed in one trip. I don't know if the world I was condemned to exists or not exists in this vast universe, but I understand not every living thing is lucky enough to be born in a beautiful world. In some way I've also learned that I may have to change the ways I do things in life and maybe take a second and think about my actions.
It was a nightmare, but it is getting better. I wish I have done research and mentally prepared for myself even though I feel humble (but scared).
I understand now, what it means to show respect and humility to DMT, and the mistakes I have made treating it as any other psychedelics. I'm still fighting the demons at night in my dreams.
Please do research and learn ways to prepare for DMT. It is life changing, but again, should be treated with respect. I hope you guys don't judge me too hard as I am trying to share my experience of complete death. If you've had a scary experience, let me know how you coped with it after coming back to earth.