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Friendzoned after 3 years of serious relationship!!!??

imlaufin

Greenlighter
Joined
Dec 19, 2014
Messages
1
Hey guys,


I am having a really complicated situation here and I am looking for some suggestions that can clear my head up..


So I have(or should I say had) a relationship with a frind of mine since 3 years. We were friends at first but later things got serious and we began a relationship. We were super close and used to talk and be with each other for whole day whole nights almost everyday. (We were stupid in love you can say LOL) About one and half year later I had to enter my bussiness and unfortunately had lesser and lesser time to give to her. We still talked everyday but insted of hours, it was barely few minutes. We didn't meet each other much. It became sort of a long distance thing I guess. I hail from India and we live with our parents here so there are restrictions on girls about how much they go out so we used to meet only couple of times in a month or so. Live in relationships are not possible here. Apparently the sudden change hit her very hard and she used to cry a lot(something she told me mamy months later). She started devoting the void of her life to other activities and started becoming less dependent(or attached?) to me. But even after this all, we always knew that we were together and we were going to marry in a couple of years. After a year, I left the job and I started having much more time at my hand and tried to give her more attention. Things got better, we were in a stable relationship but the spark was missing. You can say that we were like an old married couple. We still liked each other, we are super comfortable with each other, super compatible and talk everyday. We have always been super honest with each other and had talked to each other a couple of times that the spark was missing but I told her that it'll be back(and I trully believe it can happen) and she agreed. But yesterday, she hit me with a bomb. She says she has become feeling less now and dsnt feel the love at all. She tried so many time to fix it... but she cudnt and she's tired pretending now. She broke up.


Although I cant say that I dont agree with what she said. Yes the spark was not there now but is that enough to break a relationship if everything else was perfect? I know it's just a long distance thing, and if were were actually living together, I know I can sweep her off her feet. She wants to stay friends and I want to too, but I want more too. She says she needs time and things will fall into place but I am scared. I can't imagin life without her. We were planning on getting married in 2 years (after she completed her education). I know she's not cheating on me, I am sure of that. I know she broke up because it was weighing heavy on her because she had to pretend the love for me and I know there's a chance that we'll hit it off again without the pressure of being lovers but I am too scared to take the risk. What do I do!!


In India we usually get married around are of 25-27 years but arranged marriage(or love if thats the case). I cant imagine meeting anyone whom I trust more than her, whom I know like I know her. I want us to stay together rather than marrying some strangers that we dont even know about! Ok, the love is gone.. but we are still best friends and with the distance thing closing, we can hit it off again. What do I do guys! I am sorry for the long post but I have a lot of things going on my mind.


Thanks
 
Sounds like she can't do the long distance thing, man. I know I couldn't. Some people can, but others need that physical presence.

I think the best y ou can do is respect her wishes, give her space, and see where things end up. If she's in love with you as you think she was, she'll be back, but don't hang your hat on it.
 
She doesn't owe you a relationship. Feelings change, relationships end, it's natural. If she says she's not interested anymore you should respect and believe her.

Everyone feels like this about ended relationships at least once in their life, that they can't be with someone else, they were the only one for you, etc. but you'll get over it, believe it or not. The best thing for both of you is to give each other some space for awhile. Spending a lot of time together is just going to make it harder.
 
It's over. She was just asking if you could still be cool.

That was probably the kindest way for her to end it and maybe you can fuck her from time to time but I do not think you two will ever get back together and if you do it would probably be a mistake.
 
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