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Friendless, Jobless, Helpless, Hopeless !!!!!!!!

shadowhugz

shadowhugz

Greenlighter
Joined
Jun 1, 2015
Messages
7
Location
India
Why do some people have nice lives while some suffer ??

Here I am, jobless for over half a year, single, no friends. I rarely leave house. I feel like I'm in a prison and constantly cry due to depression. I'm sad all the time. No matter how much I try to look happy and stay positive and hopeful, nothing good ever happens.

I've lost all my confidence and hope. For one whole week, I haven't been out of home except one time when I had to go to the bank. I left home and was back in 40 minutes. 40 minutes was the time I spent outside my house for the entire week.

Not just this, I have no one to share my depression and feelings with. Probably if I die right now, no one will even know.

My parents want me to get married as I'm aging and this doesn't seem to happen at all since I'm jobless.

Above all, everyday all I get is thousands of curse from my mother. With the way my life is going I guess God himself has cursed me to hell.

I really want to run away from home and live somewhere else but this cannot happen too since I'm penniless.

What should I do?? :(
 
Well you've already done the right thing - you've reached out online. :)

What I'd suggest is visiting your doctor and starting a short-term course of anti-depressants to help give you some positive feelings and a little extra confidence. This will kick-start your recovery. I'd also suggest you buy a few plants, learn how to tend to them, how to help them flourish, how to keep those beautiful things alive. I also suggest you leave the house once a day. Give yourself a mission: visit the shop, take a walk, go for a quiet coffee with a book and cosy corner. You don't have to go to the same place each day - just do whatever you feel, but leave the house and breathe the fresh air and move your body. I'd also suggest you sign-up to one of these funny dating sites like plenty-of-fish. They really are a hoot and you'll meet loads of weird, wacky and many wonderful people. :) I'd also suggest you hang around here, too, it's loads of fun! Regards the job front: you will find work but in the meantime make the most of your freedom, you'll realise how precious it was once you're on the treadmill.

I hope you feel better soon. =D
 
I dunno about this yet, shld give it a try.... anyhow thanx a lot for making me feel better :)
 
Welcome to BL! There are some very good and interesting people here on this site, and different forums so that you will have opportunities to beginning communicating online and getting support. Are you currently fighting any addiction issues in your life as well as dealing with depression and isolation? No matter, there are forums here for both.
As mentioned above, if you can get out of the house for even 5 minutes a day, (baby steps, baby steps), and gradually add on to the time you either walk or even sit and enjoy the weather, you will begin to decrease the depression. There is no quick fix, but by doing some self care every day your life will gradually improve.
smileys-hugs-960056.gif
 
The fact that you reached out means you realize that this is not sustainable. You've realized this for a while, but now are looking to solve this problem. I took two years of my own life living in a similar state. Failure kept following me and I decided I wanted to give up. Well, it isn't hopeless. Everything positive in your life is still there waiting for you to pick up where you left off. How deep a hole are you going to dig for yourself? When depression gets bad enough you would be selling yourself short if you didn't want to benefit from the medications available to help "jump-start" a depressed brain. That cycle needs to be broken and you owe it to yourself to take that step (assuming you haven't already). When you take steps to engage in the process it gradually forces the negative thinking into a corner, and you can manage it. Managing it is not good enough, but it's the next step IMO. When your life starts moving it picks up momentum, and eventually you aren't stuck managing your life anymore, you're busy living it. Big difference. I encourage you to explore your depression holistically. To me this means engaging your depression on all levels: physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. There is no fixed formula other than to engage consciously. The rest takes care of itself or gives rise to new questions that are doors to deeper understanding. This mess can unravel, but it'll take a desire to get better, and then it will.
 
U have to make things happen u cant just let things happen.some ppl have a better set up for life and because of money or social standing have an "easier" life but everybody has problems and everybody gets depressed sometimes..im sorry for your trouble ...post on here if u wana get feelings out or keep a diary..it helps to see how u feel on certain days and u can maybe see a pattern or correaltion on what u do and how u feel
 
Try to remember the things that once made you happy. Make a list of those things and things that may interest you. What would you like to do for a living?
 
^You are letting your thoughts about yourself manifest in a destructive way. Being jobless and isolated has a way of doing this--we turn everything in on ourselves. If it is possible, set yourself a goal of going out for a short walk everyday. When you go for this walk, try an experiment. Try to turn your thoughts outward. They will continually turn back to your discomfort and uneasiness but each time they do, force yourself to turn them away from self consciousness to simply observing the world around you. Look at other people's faces and movements. Look at the animals that you meet and the trees. Look at everything you are passing through and try to notice details. It is an incredibly powerful exercise that after about a week becomes something that you look forward to. Getting out of your head and into your body puts you in touch with your feelings. Your feelings may be scary to you but they needn't be. It's the thoughts that you attach to them that matter. It's the difference between acknowledging that not having a job makes you feel worthless to the world and thinking (believing) that you are worthless. One is an understandable feeling that can come but also go. The other is a belief about yourself that can become a terrible trap.<3
 
Hopelessness, helplessness, and anxiety are the result of feeling so overwhelmed that you feel out of control of your own life. You become like a passenger in your own car and life has the steering wheel. This, in turn, causes a mental "giving up" of sorts, and depression follows. How do you change this?

Easy answer is by gaining that control back of your life, taking back the steering wheel. This, however, is a process that requires a complete change and retraining of thought process. So you start out by breaking this big goal into smaller, easier to obtain, goals. For example, when you wake up make a goal to take a shower. Make a meal. Write a book. Smaller, easier to obtain goals. Then work your way up. Make it a goal to take a walk around the block. Write a resume. Apply for 2 jobs.

Eventually, by goal setting and achieving, you start to gain more control of the steering wheel of your life. Nobody is a greater enemy to someone than themselves. We work so hard to please others for their approval but our own approval is what we're actually craving. This detachment from our own needs to please the needs of others will cause you to feel less control of your life. Keep that in mind. It takes a lot of time and a lot of work. Remember, you never know the feeling of true fulfillment without feeling broken down.
 
I was Jobless for almost 2 years, I was content with making $20-40 a day in my pocket through drug dealing.. Before I knew it, I was 21, a college drop-out who had never earned a paycheck in his life and nothing to put on his resume. I then ended up in Jail.... Good luck.

I know how you feel, the more you wait, the longer you will Job-Less. Having a job get rids of all depression. You can only 'chill at home' watching downloaded movies for so long, before you go crazy
 
I am so sorry you are feeling this way. I know exactly how you feel. I am jobless and hopeless. I am fortunate and have a good husband but I feel he may be losing his patience with me. I am so depressed I cannot even handle the housework or dishes. It just all seems so overwhelming. I can totally relate to you. If you ever need anyone to talk to, reach out to me anytime. I will be thinking good thoughts for you.....
 
Nice people suffer, it's a cliche; but it does tend to happen as you care.
Depression seems like an act of selfishness; but more often than not it's about caring too much.
Watching the news (bad news sell's papers) is upsetting, making the wrong impression could ruin your day, week, month; inner thoughts linger and manifest.
It could be your feeling compassionate about everything outward at the expense of feeling right inside.
Many scripts have analogies and metaphor's; but the one that rings true for me is so simple and yet so profound.
'One drowning man cannot save another drowning man.'
From what I can gather it means save yourself first; and once you feel strong go out and save other lost souls.
In doing so you should find yourself and create meaning in life.
I hope it helps some. Your not alone.
 
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