Poetry Found this, forgot about it....

[xxfreak187xx]

*Fighting A Losing Battle, Leaving With My Life*​

I can no longer sit back and allow my life to deteriorate into nothingness like a piece of fruit that rots in the sun. Decaying and moldy only appealing to the bottom feeders and insects of revulsion, little bits stripped piece by piece feeding a dark hunger in an unbearable abyss. A faint voice rings inside my ears, in my head, familiar is the tone and absolutely strange at the same time. I recognize this voice as mine but cannot come to trust this stranger that will lead me into what can only be the basement of rock bottom, abducting my being and chaining my will. This I must prevent from going any further. With a past to accept and a future unknown the present keeps me frozen and terrified of what I’ve been shown. Unable to forget. I think this is what keeps me from moving forward. Ahead. Toward any form or semblance of existence.

Dramatic?

Maybe!

True for sure. Every word. The element of living has truly become a novelty to me while watching what goes on within humanity. Slowly suffocating themselves my indifference feels like armor and sometimes I feel selfish for this knowing without a doubt that all the worlds sufferings compare' nil to my meager bubble of isolation.

I'll stand and scream and stomp and shout, pound my fists and break some shit, even kill a bit to take back what was stolen before my eyes, within my years. Taken was a soul I’m certain was once mine, a part of the puzzle I’ve strained so hard find. Nearly forgotten my soul is like a jolt of deja vu or the cold breath of a ghost on the back of your neck. Those eyes that you feel all alone in the dark, a presence that can't be ignored but too far to grab.

Idk know where I lost it or I'd have went back to picked it up. It's wasn't my fault!

I just want the reality from before, the world and the time and all that we call past, I just want it back.

Forfeit my future delete my present and encapsulate my yesterday's seal it and delete the process....

Think I'd close enough to hold it then?

I need to get back that which makes me whole. Thats really all I know for sure and can't find any words to convey that in absolute, any way I communicate this will only be jumbled jargon to your ears and nails on your nerves. Just....Help me get whole, help me catch my soul. Before I cannot chase it anymore.......

187F

10/04/2021