mariacallas
Bluelight Crew
i found this letter in one of my messy drawers and i nearly cried when i read it again because it reminded me of a time when i felt truly truly unconditionally loved by someone (this was given to me around 7 years ago by a boyfriend who wasnt even "the" love of my life, but wrote me the most perfect beautiful letters during our short relationship.
Dear Twix
Youve shown and given me more happiness and comfort and joy and peace and excitement and thrills and breathless bliss in the past thirty days than i ever thought i would experience in my whole lifetime. Physically attracted by your beauty over a year ago, pleasantly surprised by your friendliness when we would see each other out, amazed that you accepted my invitation to go out last week , charmed by your wit and intelligence and realizing how much i wanted to be and still want to be with you, I could never deny to anyone that i am truly in love with you. This bright, wonderful person, this alluring, funny confident , singular woman. I couldnt ever imagine wanting more than ive found in you.
You, M, have tapped into places of my mind body and heart that I never let anyone in before. I want to love you, care for you, hold you and be there for you as long as humanly possible. I sound ridiculous to myself. It doesnt matter because youve restored a lot of my faith and idealism in love. And youve made me be things ive never been before. Jealous and afraid. Afraid that i might not be able to touch you again. Or hear you laugh at one of my jokes. Or that one day youll feel nothing at all for me. But more important than that, you make me see myself the way i imagine you see me. Youve given me a new perspective.
So many things have happened that things have blurred. I cant quite remember or tell the difference between what was really happening and what i imagined was happening. All the emotions i felt for you have melded into one underlying theme . That I LOVE YOU and dont ever want to let go of you. Happiness used to be the most elusive idea in my life. Ive had lots of moments, glimpses of happiness. Its no longer just a glimpse ---- it is, for the first time in my life, a sustained truth. That i am happy. And it is a direct effect of being with you.
Even though im with you, you still elude me sometimes. I cant read you like a book the way i do others. Evryone else is easy....you boggle me sometimes. I suppose its because of how i feel about you. Everything i think about you has an emotion attached to it. Therefore ive lost all objectivity about you. You are simply put, the woman i love. I hope and pray that i have the chance to continue loving you for a long long time.
love always, YOUR MAN
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