MercuryWinter
Greenlighter
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif]Heyguys this is my first post and I'd usually introduce myself but I'mdesperately looking for some answers. Please feel free to move thisto a more relevant section, it isn't strictly about vendors but itdoes relate to it. It's a long one so if you could bear with me itwould be massively appreciated [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif]Here'sa bit of background[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif]Ihave experimented with benzos before and have a tendency to abuse/binge on them despite them doing nothing for me for the most part.Back in March after a month of moderate daily abuse I got into asituation where I couldn't access my pills (Short acting ones, fairlysure they were clonazolam) as I'd stayed overnight at a friends andleft them there accidentally. l left in the morning as he had workand then plans in the evening so I had to wait until at least thenext day to get them back. I was aware of the dangers of benzo abusebut naively thought I was ok and not addicted, however as the dayprogressed it became clear I wasn't ok. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif]Inthe morning as my friend was getting ready for work it was apparentthat something wasn't right; by then last dose would have beenroughly 12-hrs before. As I was getting ready to leave I was gettingvery strange symptoms. I couldn't concentrate, at points I couldn'tspeak or get my words out, was getting very confused and havingmemory problems and angering my friend as I'm sure he believed Iwould be fine and was over-reacting but making him late for work.Eventually about 9:am I had to leave his house despite me feelingthis wasn't a good idea. My pills and money were in my wallet which Iwas unable to find in my bag whilst I sat outside his house for aboutan hour looking for them whilst trying/hoping my head would start toget back to normal. Eventually it dawned on me that my wallet was inthe house somewhere and I had no pills or money. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif]Iwas a long way from home and just wanted to get back to bed. Myfriend worked literally a half hour walk away so he reluctantlyagreed to meet me there to give me money to get home. I began thewalk over and this is where the symptoms started to get very odd anddisturbing. It was a walk in a city that I've grown up in and knowlike the back of my hand, yet I was so confused/delirious it took me6 hours of wrong turns and stops trying to 'get my head straight' tofinally reach him. Finally I got home at about 3pm and went straightto bed exhausted assuming I'd sleep it off. Next thing I know it'sabout 7pm, I'm on the floor of my room surrounded by my parents and 2paramedics informing me I'd had a seizure. On the way to hospital Ihad another more severe seizure that led to a Cardiac Arrest and wasvery very lucky to survive. My first question is, does this soundlike benzo withdrawal?[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif]Mysecond question relates to an unfortunate relapse that thankfully Iam in the process of getting help for, am guaranteed a supply ofbenzos as well until I see a specialist and receive the correcttreatment; hopefully a valium taper as detox was horrible. The firsttime I was fortunate enough to be only mildly addicted that I couldbe given valium strictly as and when needed (I didn't want to takeany to be honest but at one point it got pretty bad that the nursesmade sure I took some, in my 4 days there I only took 2 benzos, bothof which I feel were too low a dose to help with as the temazepam didNOTHING for the insomnia and the valium the nurses gave me still ledto a seizure though admittedly I can't blame them as I was reluctantto take it) with ?oxcabazepam? an anti-seizure drug, being the mainline of treatment to get me through, it didn't help the horrificwithdrawals (most disturbing/strange/terrifying thing I've beenthrough, I can't imagine what it must be like for those with a moreserious addiction) and I still had another seizure (the one mentionedearlier after reluctantly taking valium), though a mild one comparedto the 2 previous ones.[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif]Mysecond question relates to my relapse. I was naive when leaving theward and didn't make full use of the services available to me to staysober as I naively thought that I'd just made a silly mistake and hadlearned from it; after all I'm only 23, 22 at the time and whilst mytime at the detox ward was amazingly helpful it was not a place Ifelt somebody like me should be, but after this relapse I now acceptthat I am somebody with a drugs problem who needs support which I amin the process of addressing. However I have noticed some concerningthings, which is why I've placed this in the vendor section.[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif]Ihave been advised to simply keep taking the RC's until I get onto amedical taper and control my usage as much as possible (Believe meI'm doing all I can, e.g trying to figure out roughly what dose ofvalium im on per day etc and all the information I can gather tohopefully help the Dr's, however this recent binge has lasted justover a month and today i have taken 14x0.25mg flubromazOLAM, not pam,OLAM (and as this post demonstrates I am able to function and type asnormal/or at least to a coherent level for someone who's taken such ahigh dose) the supposedly super potent, pills from [Vendor removed]- a vendor that I thought was trustworthy and reliable - I've evenhad drugs from them tested for purity etc and they've turned out tobe legit, admittedly this was going back a few months. Now I knowthat this is an insane amount of F-LAM again to clarify, F-LAM, notF-pam and I didn't take them all at once. I started off with 5x.25mgand felt very little relief and added more and more, waiting eachtime in between redosing to make sure it had kicked in. It's now9:30pm, nearly 12 hours since my first dose and the only thing I'vefelt is relief from impending withdrawals once i got up to taking 14pills. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif]Ieven took 2x4mg Nifoxipam as I still didn't feel right. Myunderstanding is that I should have been completely blasted by theinitial 5 pills I took this morning but instead I've had a ratherproductive day and been able to think straight and concentrate forthe first time since my supply dropped to below my usual level andget things done that I haven't been able to during the weekend. I'veasked countless people who know all about my problems and they havestated that it seems like I'm either on nothing or just a littletired, but nothing alarming or out of the ordinary. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif]Doesanyone have any idea how I can be withstanding such a dose? I feel alittle tired admittedly but nothing special and only felt tired sinceI took the nifoxipam and spent a couple of hours wandering aroundtown shopping with some friends this evening. Have turned into avendor that is no longer reputable and been selling me sugarpills/underdosed pills? (I'm nearly 100% certain that at least someof their pellets are legit having felt the definite expected effectsfrom some very recent purchases as well as noticing early warningsigns of withdrawal when I've been running low, thankfully I wasusing Diclazepam and Fpam at the time which both have long halflives).[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif]Theonly alternative I can think of is that somehow within just over amonth my tolerance has absolutely skyrocketed to alarming levels - isthat even possible?![/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif]AsI said I am currently in the process of getting treatment for myproblem and have an assessment next week on the best course of action- please don't lecture me on how stupid what I've done is, I am fullyaware. Even the smartest people do stupid things, especially whenthey're in a desperate situation and haven't learned how to ask forhelp or the correct coping mechanisms which is yet another issue Ihave that I will be addressing in treatment.[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif]Sorryfor such a long first post but any help or advice would be greatlyappreciated. Anything you feel I've missed out I will be more thanhappy to answer![/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif]TL[/FONT]:D[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif]R- Has anyone else had problems with [vendor removed]'s Flam or have[vendor removed] simply gone downhill massively in the last fewmonth; or has my tolerance simply skyrocketed? Or I guess there's a4th option that I'm absolutely trashed making no sense but thinking Iam however I'm sat about 2 metres from my mother and I'm sure she'dhave noticed any signs of massive overdose.[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif]Thankyou in advance for any help or advice guys, or even for just readingthrough this dam novel![/FONT]

[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif]Here'sa bit of background[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif]Ihave experimented with benzos before and have a tendency to abuse/binge on them despite them doing nothing for me for the most part.Back in March after a month of moderate daily abuse I got into asituation where I couldn't access my pills (Short acting ones, fairlysure they were clonazolam) as I'd stayed overnight at a friends andleft them there accidentally. l left in the morning as he had workand then plans in the evening so I had to wait until at least thenext day to get them back. I was aware of the dangers of benzo abusebut naively thought I was ok and not addicted, however as the dayprogressed it became clear I wasn't ok. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif]Inthe morning as my friend was getting ready for work it was apparentthat something wasn't right; by then last dose would have beenroughly 12-hrs before. As I was getting ready to leave I was gettingvery strange symptoms. I couldn't concentrate, at points I couldn'tspeak or get my words out, was getting very confused and havingmemory problems and angering my friend as I'm sure he believed Iwould be fine and was over-reacting but making him late for work.Eventually about 9:am I had to leave his house despite me feelingthis wasn't a good idea. My pills and money were in my wallet which Iwas unable to find in my bag whilst I sat outside his house for aboutan hour looking for them whilst trying/hoping my head would start toget back to normal. Eventually it dawned on me that my wallet was inthe house somewhere and I had no pills or money. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif]Iwas a long way from home and just wanted to get back to bed. Myfriend worked literally a half hour walk away so he reluctantlyagreed to meet me there to give me money to get home. I began thewalk over and this is where the symptoms started to get very odd anddisturbing. It was a walk in a city that I've grown up in and knowlike the back of my hand, yet I was so confused/delirious it took me6 hours of wrong turns and stops trying to 'get my head straight' tofinally reach him. Finally I got home at about 3pm and went straightto bed exhausted assuming I'd sleep it off. Next thing I know it'sabout 7pm, I'm on the floor of my room surrounded by my parents and 2paramedics informing me I'd had a seizure. On the way to hospital Ihad another more severe seizure that led to a Cardiac Arrest and wasvery very lucky to survive. My first question is, does this soundlike benzo withdrawal?[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif]Mysecond question relates to an unfortunate relapse that thankfully Iam in the process of getting help for, am guaranteed a supply ofbenzos as well until I see a specialist and receive the correcttreatment; hopefully a valium taper as detox was horrible. The firsttime I was fortunate enough to be only mildly addicted that I couldbe given valium strictly as and when needed (I didn't want to takeany to be honest but at one point it got pretty bad that the nursesmade sure I took some, in my 4 days there I only took 2 benzos, bothof which I feel were too low a dose to help with as the temazepam didNOTHING for the insomnia and the valium the nurses gave me still ledto a seizure though admittedly I can't blame them as I was reluctantto take it) with ?oxcabazepam? an anti-seizure drug, being the mainline of treatment to get me through, it didn't help the horrificwithdrawals (most disturbing/strange/terrifying thing I've beenthrough, I can't imagine what it must be like for those with a moreserious addiction) and I still had another seizure (the one mentionedearlier after reluctantly taking valium), though a mild one comparedto the 2 previous ones.[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif]Mysecond question relates to my relapse. I was naive when leaving theward and didn't make full use of the services available to me to staysober as I naively thought that I'd just made a silly mistake and hadlearned from it; after all I'm only 23, 22 at the time and whilst mytime at the detox ward was amazingly helpful it was not a place Ifelt somebody like me should be, but after this relapse I now acceptthat I am somebody with a drugs problem who needs support which I amin the process of addressing. However I have noticed some concerningthings, which is why I've placed this in the vendor section.[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif]Ihave been advised to simply keep taking the RC's until I get onto amedical taper and control my usage as much as possible (Believe meI'm doing all I can, e.g trying to figure out roughly what dose ofvalium im on per day etc and all the information I can gather tohopefully help the Dr's, however this recent binge has lasted justover a month and today i have taken 14x0.25mg flubromazOLAM, not pam,OLAM (and as this post demonstrates I am able to function and type asnormal/or at least to a coherent level for someone who's taken such ahigh dose) the supposedly super potent, pills from [Vendor removed]- a vendor that I thought was trustworthy and reliable - I've evenhad drugs from them tested for purity etc and they've turned out tobe legit, admittedly this was going back a few months. Now I knowthat this is an insane amount of F-LAM again to clarify, F-LAM, notF-pam and I didn't take them all at once. I started off with 5x.25mgand felt very little relief and added more and more, waiting eachtime in between redosing to make sure it had kicked in. It's now9:30pm, nearly 12 hours since my first dose and the only thing I'vefelt is relief from impending withdrawals once i got up to taking 14pills. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif]Ieven took 2x4mg Nifoxipam as I still didn't feel right. Myunderstanding is that I should have been completely blasted by theinitial 5 pills I took this morning but instead I've had a ratherproductive day and been able to think straight and concentrate forthe first time since my supply dropped to below my usual level andget things done that I haven't been able to during the weekend. I'veasked countless people who know all about my problems and they havestated that it seems like I'm either on nothing or just a littletired, but nothing alarming or out of the ordinary. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif]Doesanyone have any idea how I can be withstanding such a dose? I feel alittle tired admittedly but nothing special and only felt tired sinceI took the nifoxipam and spent a couple of hours wandering aroundtown shopping with some friends this evening. Have turned into avendor that is no longer reputable and been selling me sugarpills/underdosed pills? (I'm nearly 100% certain that at least someof their pellets are legit having felt the definite expected effectsfrom some very recent purchases as well as noticing early warningsigns of withdrawal when I've been running low, thankfully I wasusing Diclazepam and Fpam at the time which both have long halflives).[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif]Theonly alternative I can think of is that somehow within just over amonth my tolerance has absolutely skyrocketed to alarming levels - isthat even possible?![/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif]AsI said I am currently in the process of getting treatment for myproblem and have an assessment next week on the best course of action- please don't lecture me on how stupid what I've done is, I am fullyaware. Even the smartest people do stupid things, especially whenthey're in a desperate situation and haven't learned how to ask forhelp or the correct coping mechanisms which is yet another issue Ihave that I will be addressing in treatment.[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif]Sorryfor such a long first post but any help or advice would be greatlyappreciated. Anything you feel I've missed out I will be more thanhappy to answer![/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif]TL[/FONT]:D[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif]R- Has anyone else had problems with [vendor removed]'s Flam or have[vendor removed] simply gone downhill massively in the last fewmonth; or has my tolerance simply skyrocketed? Or I guess there's a4th option that I'm absolutely trashed making no sense but thinking Iam however I'm sat about 2 metres from my mother and I'm sure she'dhave noticed any signs of massive overdose.[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif]Thankyou in advance for any help or advice guys, or even for just readingthrough this dam novel![/FONT]
Last edited: