Flowers in the Garden

[Liquid Sunshine]

I haven't been able to write for a month and this just came out like fire. I'd love opinions, they don't need to be praising, and I like criticism.


We buckle and bend,
Our structure diminished by
Atrophy and apathy,
Slowly eroding away
The wholeness.

And yet in the differences
New things arise,
New life!

Shoots of green and gold
Violet and blue and orange
And all the colors are so strange,
New shades, something new,
Life filling in the gaps,
The experience of breaking
Facilitating the resurrection.

The only beauty I see is in broken people,
The flowers grow through the cracks.

 

[thujone]

to be honest, i found it tough to even get through because the words and theme are both so cliché. it feels a lot like something i would have written and generally this is how i start a poem; exploring words that might fit the theme but it helps to invest a lot more effort into making the theme appear crystal clear then fortifying it with well-chosen words that aren't just off the top of your head but dig deeper instead.