Hoping I can get a bit of advice here, as I don't have any idea what to do, or how this is likely to work out.
My flatmate and I have been sharing a place for around a year and a half. There has never been and I doubt ever will be anything sexual about our friendship at all - to him and his mates, I'm "one of the boys". Technically the place is mine - I paid the bond and (attempt to) manage the bills, he pays rent into my account. We've had others stay over plenty of times from overnight to 6 months, usually some of his group of guys. I've loved this, since it's taught me a lot and generally kept the place fun.
Anyway, he has this "friend". She's stayed with us a couple of times, one or two nights, and well, she's alright. He recently asked if I would be ok with another flatmate - she wants to move in with him. I don't WANT to say no, I'm not that kind of person. However, it would cause some issues for me.
- I would have to hide my drug use. He is as bad as me (weed always, MDMA/stims on weekends), but reckons no more for him if she lives with us. This in itself isn't a massive problem for me, just a little sad as I've enjoyed just chilling out with him and his mates. She isn't straight-edge, but doesn't really approve. I can stay in my bedroom but honestly, that sounds pretty lame. I don't have much of a social life thanks to work schedules and just generally being shy.
- I would have to "behave". I.E. act my age. I've naturally got way too much energy, so I'm always bouncing off the walls and annoying people. Only time I ever seem to calm down is if I'm baked. Either way, not fantastic in this situation.
- She knows my superiors at work. This is what is making me stress out about everything else. My flatmate knows them too but would never mention anything to them, since it would cause him major issues as well.
- I'm not sure if I can handle a relationship going on around me constantly. Its fine on occasion, but if its constant I end up feeling depressed and lonely, especially when its my mates and I never get to talk to them without their girlfriends anymore.
On the flip side, she would be paying some of the rent and bills, helping to keep the place tidy, and he (hopefully) would stop "borrowing" my weed...
So what I want to know is, can this work, or is it just going to end up a living hell? I've not had to share space with another girl since I left home 5 years ago, and honestly, I'm like a teenage guy when it comes to housework/living space. What's the chances of her/them changing everything up and making it HER house, and then I'm the one who doesn't fit in? Should I just tell him no, I don't think it will work? And if I do, how do I go about it to not seem like a selfish brat?
My flatmate and I have been sharing a place for around a year and a half. There has never been and I doubt ever will be anything sexual about our friendship at all - to him and his mates, I'm "one of the boys". Technically the place is mine - I paid the bond and (attempt to) manage the bills, he pays rent into my account. We've had others stay over plenty of times from overnight to 6 months, usually some of his group of guys. I've loved this, since it's taught me a lot and generally kept the place fun.
Anyway, he has this "friend". She's stayed with us a couple of times, one or two nights, and well, she's alright. He recently asked if I would be ok with another flatmate - she wants to move in with him. I don't WANT to say no, I'm not that kind of person. However, it would cause some issues for me.
- I would have to hide my drug use. He is as bad as me (weed always, MDMA/stims on weekends), but reckons no more for him if she lives with us. This in itself isn't a massive problem for me, just a little sad as I've enjoyed just chilling out with him and his mates. She isn't straight-edge, but doesn't really approve. I can stay in my bedroom but honestly, that sounds pretty lame. I don't have much of a social life thanks to work schedules and just generally being shy.
- I would have to "behave". I.E. act my age. I've naturally got way too much energy, so I'm always bouncing off the walls and annoying people. Only time I ever seem to calm down is if I'm baked. Either way, not fantastic in this situation.
- She knows my superiors at work. This is what is making me stress out about everything else. My flatmate knows them too but would never mention anything to them, since it would cause him major issues as well.
- I'm not sure if I can handle a relationship going on around me constantly. Its fine on occasion, but if its constant I end up feeling depressed and lonely, especially when its my mates and I never get to talk to them without their girlfriends anymore.
On the flip side, she would be paying some of the rent and bills, helping to keep the place tidy, and he (hopefully) would stop "borrowing" my weed...
So what I want to know is, can this work, or is it just going to end up a living hell? I've not had to share space with another girl since I left home 5 years ago, and honestly, I'm like a teenage guy when it comes to housework/living space. What's the chances of her/them changing everything up and making it HER house, and then I'm the one who doesn't fit in? Should I just tell him no, I don't think it will work? And if I do, how do I go about it to not seem like a selfish brat?
