It's been forever since I checked into this blog. The problem is I mainly use my tablet for all of my internet needs because it fits into my purse, it goes everywhere with me, it's convenient, but it sucks for writing blog entries. I was turned down for my 4th and final time for my disability. I went through a major depression after that because there I was 50 something years old, hadn't worked in 6 years. I had lost my nursing license, as it was revoked due to getting busted for drugs during my 4 and a half year relapse period. I think I got busted 3 times in 2013, so bye bye licence. I no longer had a nursing license, but what I did have was a hefty criminal record for drugs. To top it off, I had a disability. I could no longer do the sort of work that I had done for years, which consisted of heavy lifting and constantly being on my feet from the time I arrived on the job, to the time it was to go home. I need a sit down job. So, all of this shit was going through my head. I felt old and pretty fuckin useless. I had seriously contemplated suicide because I didn't need this shit.
I did end up getting help from the Department of Rehabilitation. They got me in college to become a substance abuse counselor and paid for my first semester. I am now halfway through my second semester. Time is going by fast. At the suggestion of Narcotics Anonymous, I applied for a shitload of jobs in the recovery field and now work as support staff for a drug rehab facility. I'm still financially challenged, but I'm better off than when I was on General Relief collecting only $300/month. My car is 16 years old and beat up. It's in the shop again and I'm constantly wondering if it's going to take a major shit on me before I finish school and can work full time. I still feel better now that I am going to work and school, even if the work is only part time. Another thing that happened is that on Feb 25, 2019, I finally broke this 14 year period of celibacy. I'm 54 now and still have my looks, except for the fact that I have this extra 30 or 40 lbs I've had ever since I got clean.
I did manage to lose it. I worked my ass off with the help of a nutritionist and a drug called Topamax. It was used to prevent migraines, but a side effect was that it killed my appetite. I made use of that in conjunction with a much healthier diet and lost the weight. However, returning to school and after not having been there since the 80's was stressful. Also having to look for work and go on interviews was even more stressful. I don't smoke, drink, do drugs, hadn't gotten any dick since 2005, made me feel like I had to turn to food to de stress, which was stupid. The 30 or 40 lbs came back. Still I decided to try my luck with finding a hook up online and I did. I was worried he was going to be turned off by my weight, but he didn't seem to notice or care. He is out of town a lot, so I tried two other hook ups. They were fun, but not very available. Oh well. These have all been very young guys, the last one 24. LOL. I guess I've been going a bit crazy from horniness craving this young dick. Still the young ones are fun. Now, I need to get my mind off the dick and on my damn homework that I don't want to do.
I did end up getting help from the Department of Rehabilitation. They got me in college to become a substance abuse counselor and paid for my first semester. I am now halfway through my second semester. Time is going by fast. At the suggestion of Narcotics Anonymous, I applied for a shitload of jobs in the recovery field and now work as support staff for a drug rehab facility. I'm still financially challenged, but I'm better off than when I was on General Relief collecting only $300/month. My car is 16 years old and beat up. It's in the shop again and I'm constantly wondering if it's going to take a major shit on me before I finish school and can work full time. I still feel better now that I am going to work and school, even if the work is only part time. Another thing that happened is that on Feb 25, 2019, I finally broke this 14 year period of celibacy. I'm 54 now and still have my looks, except for the fact that I have this extra 30 or 40 lbs I've had ever since I got clean.
I did manage to lose it. I worked my ass off with the help of a nutritionist and a drug called Topamax. It was used to prevent migraines, but a side effect was that it killed my appetite. I made use of that in conjunction with a much healthier diet and lost the weight. However, returning to school and after not having been there since the 80's was stressful. Also having to look for work and go on interviews was even more stressful. I don't smoke, drink, do drugs, hadn't gotten any dick since 2005, made me feel like I had to turn to food to de stress, which was stupid. The 30 or 40 lbs came back. Still I decided to try my luck with finding a hook up online and I did. I was worried he was going to be turned off by my weight, but he didn't seem to notice or care. He is out of town a lot, so I tried two other hook ups. They were fun, but not very available. Oh well. These have all been very young guys, the last one 24. LOL. I guess I've been going a bit crazy from horniness craving this young dick. Still the young ones are fun. Now, I need to get my mind off the dick and on my damn homework that I don't want to do.
