crazyhairman
Bluelighter
Yea meth was the first hard drug I tried. Was just a normal pot head teenager. Then some new kid moved into a rent house in my neighborhood. One of my buddies started going over there every week to smoke. Then he was there almost every night for a month. I went over with him a few times.
Probably don't read this this is mainly for me. And inspired by the previous post. Even after all these years I can still remember everything about the first night that I tried methamphetamine.
Everyone in that house was using meth. The mom, step dad, and the kids were our age , and honestly they seemed really "fun". They also smoked weed , so that's mainly why I was there. That's also how I got my first wholesale brickweed connection. All of a sudden I went from getting ounces to break up and so to getting larger amounts like half pounds for basically nothing it was great.
One night there was about six or seven of us, they were all passing around the meth pipe. And I don't know what possessed me to do so but I asked what it was like. They all pretty much told me that it was a pretty good high and that it made you feel like you were Superman and that everything felt right. They each had their own description of it. They also said that because it was so expensive if you were going to use it might as well be for free right.
They didn't seem like they were addicted to me anyway I had never seen a drug addict in the wild before besides like downtown homeless crack heads. They seem like they were having a fun time it didn't seem like a big deal. So I asked if I could have a hit.
There's not too many things I regret about my drug use except for this. How was I to know. The only troubling foreshadowing was after I took a few hits blew out huge clouds, One of the guys in the circle took a couple of shards out of his bag and wrapped it in a cellophane and handed it to me saying" you were going to want this tomorrow" .
Which even at the time in my naive adolescence I thought was strange.
I still remember exactly who was there it was five other people. Suddenly I felt this rush of energy it was like being hit by a truck. I felt amazing I felt like everything was just pouring out of me. So warm I felt loved I felt like the entire solar system was intricately aligned just for me for that moment with those people. I took my shirt off I started getting really close to everybody. It was like a graduation everybody was high-fiving me and laughing and we were just having a f****** amazing time. I started seeing little tracers in my vision Happy tracers we called them. I had never in my life experienced such a intense feeling.
I believe I also did a small line because everybody else was and I also licked the plate The shards were crushed up on.
Again I had no idea what I was doing they just were laughing their ass off that I was doing it. They were like hell yeah dude it tastes like s*** but it's f****** worth it.
Everyone was so funny. The main guy B was rattling off one-liner jokes and just had the whole room roaring it really was like the best night ever. I was 17 years old I was still in high school and I had no idea the Pandora's box I had just opened. The night must have just flown by because before I knew it it was time for me to go home and sneak back in my parents house. Think it was 4:00 in the morning I had been high for about 4 hours and I could not sit still and I could not stop talking. So I called my girlfriend at the time on my little Sony Ericsson flip phone.
She answered the phone after the 7th attempt. I talked to her until 11:00 in the morning. I know for a fact she only had said two sentences to me. She asked me what was wrong with me and what did I do and that she loved me. Rest of the time was me just rattling nonsense about everything. Around noon I started feeling uneasy.
The happy tracers that had accompanied me a few hours previously were dark and scary. Started hearing people talking in the other room. As time grew on I began to sweat and I really really just wanted it to go back to being fun. All I could think about was those shards that they had given me and I still had. I just wanted a couple more hits so that this insanity would stop. Even in my altered inexperienced state of mind I knew that if I used more it would just delay the inevitable come down effects which I knew I was experiencing.
I think my parents knocked on my door around 5:00 p.m. for dinner and I just told them I was feeling kind of sick. I knew for a fact if anyone in my family saw my face they would instantly know I was on drugs. My sister was visiting from college and she knocked on my door and asked me what my problem was and it was like somebody sticking a knife in my heart.
My girlfriend called me back around 9:00 at night and I just wept out loud. Told her I was sorry told her it would never happen again and I told her that it was the worst feeling I had ever had in my life and all I could think about was those two little shards about the size of a fingernail clipping in that goddamn cellophane.
So I tried to just ride it out to the best of my ability. I remember I went into the bathroom and I stared at myself in the mirror and noticed my pupils were dilated to encompass my entire eye so I took a picture with my little flip phone. As the day wore on I got more and more unstable. I was the quintessential batshit crazy tweaker that was portrayed in movies. I was looking out the blinds I was picking at myself I was imagining terrible things on the other side of the door. Finally broke down and I called my friend. I was like bro what the f*** is happening!!! He just told me that it was normal and that I should just try to relax. I was thinking this is normal this insane horrible hallucinations and feeling like my heart is going to explode is normal f*** this oh my God I'm never doing this again.
At some point I did walk back over to my buddy's house and they were all there they weren't as happy or hyperactive but they certainly weren't experiencing the type of come down I was. I pulled out the shards that had given me in the cellophane and gave it back to the main dude. Him and the three other people that were in the room chuckled and said to the effect, wow I can't believe you didn't use that. They went and grabbed a bowl loaded it up and smoked it right there. That's what I knew That's when I knew that they knew all along how powerfully addicted I was going to do and that they knowingly gave it to me anyway.
And I never really blamed them because they were just dumb teenagers like me you know The majority of them came from a broken home from parents who themselves used they had no idea. And I figured after core at their base line people they were still pretty good people they just used meth every night. It made total sense to me I was like well this makes sense why they're always so happy at night and so angry during the day.
I ended up staying up for 56 goddamn insane hours. Yeah the first eight were great I was high I felt amazing.
The rest of the time was spent in my room terrified to my core praying for it to stop. Even after I finally slept I was in a daze for a month easy. All I could think about was using All I could think about was that amazing bliss I had experience. And the only reason I didn't within that first month was because I was terrified of the comedown. I ended up using five or six more times that year and each time I f****** hated myself..
Out of everyone from that night I only kept up with a couple of them over the years. The main guy ended up catching a whole host of charges including statutory rape. He is currently serving a life sentence. One of the other guys kind of straightened his life out I think he drives trucks now and he married a stripper and had like five kids all different colors I don't know how that worked out for him long-term.
Another guy came from a very wealthy family in town and I lost contact with him after we all got arrested for breaking in a house. The chick that was there ended up marrying one of my friends later on in life and they had a bunch of kids One of them. She was able to rewrite the history books and told him that she never used meth and I never said anything to the contrary. Even though I remember she was the one sitting to the left of me and twisting the bowl for me so hey whatever.
And there's me. I struggled with addiction for the next 10 years on every type of drug you could think of. But nothing compared to the hell I went through trying to get away from that it it just it took over my whole psyche for a couple of years. I smoked crack a few months later I did Coke a few months later I did ecstasy a few months later. But like I said none of it had such an impact on me like the first time I used meth.
Probably don't read this this is mainly for me. And inspired by the previous post. Even after all these years I can still remember everything about the first night that I tried methamphetamine.
Everyone in that house was using meth. The mom, step dad, and the kids were our age , and honestly they seemed really "fun". They also smoked weed , so that's mainly why I was there. That's also how I got my first wholesale brickweed connection. All of a sudden I went from getting ounces to break up and so to getting larger amounts like half pounds for basically nothing it was great.
One night there was about six or seven of us, they were all passing around the meth pipe. And I don't know what possessed me to do so but I asked what it was like. They all pretty much told me that it was a pretty good high and that it made you feel like you were Superman and that everything felt right. They each had their own description of it. They also said that because it was so expensive if you were going to use it might as well be for free right.
They didn't seem like they were addicted to me anyway I had never seen a drug addict in the wild before besides like downtown homeless crack heads. They seem like they were having a fun time it didn't seem like a big deal. So I asked if I could have a hit.
There's not too many things I regret about my drug use except for this. How was I to know. The only troubling foreshadowing was after I took a few hits blew out huge clouds, One of the guys in the circle took a couple of shards out of his bag and wrapped it in a cellophane and handed it to me saying" you were going to want this tomorrow" .
Which even at the time in my naive adolescence I thought was strange.
I still remember exactly who was there it was five other people. Suddenly I felt this rush of energy it was like being hit by a truck. I felt amazing I felt like everything was just pouring out of me. So warm I felt loved I felt like the entire solar system was intricately aligned just for me for that moment with those people. I took my shirt off I started getting really close to everybody. It was like a graduation everybody was high-fiving me and laughing and we were just having a f****** amazing time. I started seeing little tracers in my vision Happy tracers we called them. I had never in my life experienced such a intense feeling.
I believe I also did a small line because everybody else was and I also licked the plate The shards were crushed up on.
Again I had no idea what I was doing they just were laughing their ass off that I was doing it. They were like hell yeah dude it tastes like s*** but it's f****** worth it.
Everyone was so funny. The main guy B was rattling off one-liner jokes and just had the whole room roaring it really was like the best night ever. I was 17 years old I was still in high school and I had no idea the Pandora's box I had just opened. The night must have just flown by because before I knew it it was time for me to go home and sneak back in my parents house. Think it was 4:00 in the morning I had been high for about 4 hours and I could not sit still and I could not stop talking. So I called my girlfriend at the time on my little Sony Ericsson flip phone.
She answered the phone after the 7th attempt. I talked to her until 11:00 in the morning. I know for a fact she only had said two sentences to me. She asked me what was wrong with me and what did I do and that she loved me. Rest of the time was me just rattling nonsense about everything. Around noon I started feeling uneasy.
The happy tracers that had accompanied me a few hours previously were dark and scary. Started hearing people talking in the other room. As time grew on I began to sweat and I really really just wanted it to go back to being fun. All I could think about was those shards that they had given me and I still had. I just wanted a couple more hits so that this insanity would stop. Even in my altered inexperienced state of mind I knew that if I used more it would just delay the inevitable come down effects which I knew I was experiencing.
I think my parents knocked on my door around 5:00 p.m. for dinner and I just told them I was feeling kind of sick. I knew for a fact if anyone in my family saw my face they would instantly know I was on drugs. My sister was visiting from college and she knocked on my door and asked me what my problem was and it was like somebody sticking a knife in my heart.
My girlfriend called me back around 9:00 at night and I just wept out loud. Told her I was sorry told her it would never happen again and I told her that it was the worst feeling I had ever had in my life and all I could think about was those two little shards about the size of a fingernail clipping in that goddamn cellophane.
So I tried to just ride it out to the best of my ability. I remember I went into the bathroom and I stared at myself in the mirror and noticed my pupils were dilated to encompass my entire eye so I took a picture with my little flip phone. As the day wore on I got more and more unstable. I was the quintessential batshit crazy tweaker that was portrayed in movies. I was looking out the blinds I was picking at myself I was imagining terrible things on the other side of the door. Finally broke down and I called my friend. I was like bro what the f*** is happening!!! He just told me that it was normal and that I should just try to relax. I was thinking this is normal this insane horrible hallucinations and feeling like my heart is going to explode is normal f*** this oh my God I'm never doing this again.
At some point I did walk back over to my buddy's house and they were all there they weren't as happy or hyperactive but they certainly weren't experiencing the type of come down I was. I pulled out the shards that had given me in the cellophane and gave it back to the main dude. Him and the three other people that were in the room chuckled and said to the effect, wow I can't believe you didn't use that. They went and grabbed a bowl loaded it up and smoked it right there. That's what I knew That's when I knew that they knew all along how powerfully addicted I was going to do and that they knowingly gave it to me anyway.
And I never really blamed them because they were just dumb teenagers like me you know The majority of them came from a broken home from parents who themselves used they had no idea. And I figured after core at their base line people they were still pretty good people they just used meth every night. It made total sense to me I was like well this makes sense why they're always so happy at night and so angry during the day.
I ended up staying up for 56 goddamn insane hours. Yeah the first eight were great I was high I felt amazing.
The rest of the time was spent in my room terrified to my core praying for it to stop. Even after I finally slept I was in a daze for a month easy. All I could think about was using All I could think about was that amazing bliss I had experience. And the only reason I didn't within that first month was because I was terrified of the comedown. I ended up using five or six more times that year and each time I f****** hated myself..
Out of everyone from that night I only kept up with a couple of them over the years. The main guy ended up catching a whole host of charges including statutory rape. He is currently serving a life sentence. One of the other guys kind of straightened his life out I think he drives trucks now and he married a stripper and had like five kids all different colors I don't know how that worked out for him long-term.
Another guy came from a very wealthy family in town and I lost contact with him after we all got arrested for breaking in a house. The chick that was there ended up marrying one of my friends later on in life and they had a bunch of kids One of them. She was able to rewrite the history books and told him that she never used meth and I never said anything to the contrary. Even though I remember she was the one sitting to the left of me and twisting the bowl for me so hey whatever.
And there's me. I struggled with addiction for the next 10 years on every type of drug you could think of. But nothing compared to the hell I went through trying to get away from that it it just it took over my whole psyche for a couple of years. I smoked crack a few months later I did Coke a few months later I did ecstasy a few months later. But like I said none of it had such an impact on me like the first time I used meth.
