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FINALLY, made an account!

LacyLaPlante91

LacyLaPlante91

Greenlighter
Joined
Jun 28, 2020
Messages
10
I finally made an account on here & I'm still pretty nervous about it but I've been using BL since I was 15, tbh idk why I avoided this for like 13 or 14 years. Anywho, I have been battling addict for a long time, currently prescribed subutex & have been for like 2 yrs. I hate not being able to function til my daily dose. If I could go back in time & stop myself from starting drugs & cigarettes, I would in a heartbeat. Sadly, that's impossible, so here we are! My addiction started as bland/vanilla as possible. I started with smoking cigarettes cuz I thought I was too cool for school, then weed, booze, benzos, meth, coke, opiates(pills), then H & Fent. Bounced back & forth between different drugs, whatever was available, was what I'd do. My DOC was H but I went so hard for so long, I dont have a single vein left. I have yet to meet a phlebotomist that was able to find any veins. I am disgusted with myself & things I have done in my past but you live & learn. Currently, I'm on daily bupe, occasional benzos, & EXTREMELY rare times, I will get a sack of ice but for the most part I only take my bupe. I know a few people who say their sub still makes them feel good occasionally. I wish I could feel my sub like I used to, but I am such a chicken & I'm too scared to quit or even taper off my sub to see if I can lower my tolerance or whatever to even attempt feeling it, let alone actually getting a high of any kind.
I'm sure I left out lots of things that I will notice another time but I'm at work & needa wrap this up. If anyone has any questions feel free to ask or whatever. (: bye for now
 
Hey - welcome to Bluelight @LacyLaPlante91 :)

Yeah it's funny how it happens to a lot of us. Hopefully this place is homey for you.

Meth is my DOC, and i almost can't see why it isn't theirs as well.

Have you been smoking weed from the beginning? I find it helps.
 
madness00 said:
Hey - welcome to Bluelight @LacyLaPlante91 :)

Yeah it's funny how it happens to a lot of us. Hopefully this place is homey for you.

Meth is my DOC, and i almost can't see why it isn't theirs as well.

Have you been smoking weed from the beginning? I find it helps.
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Thank you so much for the warm welcome!
Sadly, I can't smoke weed, it makes my heart pound, makes me sick and some times I'll faint. I thought maybe its the wrong strain/type, maybe how or what I smoked it in, etc. Nope, always the same reaction. I really do wish I was able to smoke but I've tried everything I could think of.
 
madness00 said:
Maybe that's why you like H. The calming effect. I don't want to be a psychologist.

But yeah i think if it doesn't help don't force it.
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I only ever tried when I came across a know-it-all that would tell me, I'm doing it wrong, I should try Indica or sativa. So me being the person I am had to prove them wrong. I was still a teenager at this point.
 
madness00 said:
Maybe that's why you like H. The calming effect. I don't want to be a psychologist.

But yeah i think if it doesn't help don't force it.
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H was my DOC because it always felt like the most amazing warm hug you've ever gotten, if I was depressed H made it all better. H never made me peppy either it was always mellow & relaxed me. It was a cure-all for me.
 
welcome to the premire site in the known universe.
i like disasociatives as it jibes with my loner self. ;)
will be back on laptop as i hate being on phone as it is pure babylon.
love ya
peace
 
Welcome! This is a great place to be, I'm glad you joined. We are very similar and I relate to a lot you said. One being I have no superficial veins left and need ultrasound for a simple IV to go into a deep vein (what a nightmare it is, I feel your pain!) Two, I can't smoke weed for similar reasons. It gives me horrible anxiety, and I always have thought I need to do a different strain lol. It was interesting to hear you have similar thoughts.
 
Deru said:
Welcome! This is a great place to be, I'm glad you joined. We are very similar and I relate to a lot you said. One being I have no superficial veins left and need ultrasound for a simple IV to go into a deep vein (what a nightmare it is, I feel your pain!) Two, I can't smoke weed for similar reasons. It gives me horrible anxiety, and I always have thought I need to do a different strain lol. It was interesting to hear you have similar thoughts.
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thank you for welcoming me 😊 and I like that your profile pic is firing synapses. I wanted to make mine opiates binding to reseptors but couldn't find a picture I liked. And the part about weed I never understood why it did me that way, and it also makes me go deep in thought about all the parts I hate about myself and it makes me start tearing myself down mentally and hating on myself. I wish I liked it because of all the good I've seen that it does for other people. But anyways niceto meet you and hear from you! thank you again!
 
welcome to blue world

My DOC is also H but im bouncing from h to subs to tramadol to H and so on.. Hope you enjoy the stay and info that is available of personal accounts or exp.
 
Welcome among us brother. We've been here since we don't know, we helpt a lotta people. Cigars I agree, they're the hardest thing to quit out there -- it doesn't boil down to boredom but instead to purpose. I dunno, I never went into that philosophical side of why do I smoke mainly because I don't care to waste my energy on such things but I think if you want, you can do it. People are trying to be busy nowadays, lying themselves -- just do your thing and be confident. Hope you find what you're looking for.
 
LacyLaPlante91 said:
H never made me peppy either it was always mellow & relaxed me. It was a cure-all for me.
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Heroin was the only drug that relaxed me, it wasn't stimulating for me like oramorph, oxynorm and tramadol etc is, I'm 19 clean off heroin but do other downers, pills like tramadol, benzos, sleeping pills etc, I quit pills over a year ago but started again recently as have anxiety and my meds off doctor don't help now so I buy benzos online

LacyLaPlante91 said:
And the part about weed I never understood why it did me that way, and it also makes me go deep in thought about all the parts I hate about myself and it makes me start tearing myself down mentally and hating on myself
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I'm EXACTLY the same, it makes my generalised anxiety disorder much worse, I over think everything, everything feels a million times worse than it is, I get jittery, paranoid and on edge, fast heart and fear, I used to smoke it but its got to much THC in it these days and not much CBD that was meant to be in the plant to counteract the side effects some people get from the THC

Welcome to Bluelight
 
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