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Finally going to 'rehab'

lightblue543

lightblue543

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 7, 2015
Messages
123
Had been drinking since around 18, not to flaunt use because this is a harm reduction forum but it was probably the greatest thing i ever had, and I started smoking, those serotonergic rushes I felt with my 'normal' transmitter system late teens and early twenties was swell as well. Then came other stuff and not just weed, looking back those were some of the best days of me life, but then came the worst like withdrawal (the result of not having the substance in your body), addiction, health conditions. I wanted to go to an AA type service around 21, I never worked up the courage, nor was it easily 'available'. Looking back past few years I've succumbed to health conditions. it sometimes feels like I occasionally suffer what feels like a minor pending 'overdose', it's not an OD but it presents like SOB (shortness of breath), health anxiety, anxiety, awful feeling perhaps some here have known.
Seems I've overused my body :(
I have an appointment with the services uk in a week (humankind), but it's a week, I think I am currently going through alcohol wd, minor, ill see my gp tomorrow, was told over the phone to just like taper.
Well... another thing I was thinking mine didn't sound 'bad' enough, like they didn't say that but have you ever felt patronized before? Like I specifically mentioned drink but I might go into past usage when I get there, after establishing rapport. What's everyone's experience with rehab/detox. It's ok when you are in a good state of mental health or at least decent, and you see those rehab centers online with advice perhaps you know what I mean but going there seems daunting. I don't even know what to say they set me up for detox and rehab, like preventing me from using, knowledge, etc.
 
From my experience alcoholics (of all ranges) are usually patronized by the medical profession. Who probably don't drink ever/much. They lack the empathy a lot of the time but I think if it's serious enough and hard to quit your perspective is still valid. I have never been to an actual rehab, I've known a few people it's worked for. And one or two who went back to their old ways very quickly after. I think those cases however are more meth related, people with no inclination to quit and who just did rehab because they had to. Anyway, hopefully the week passes quickly and you get closer to where you feel you need to be. My best friend was a very heavy drinker and I remember that it wasn't just binging for a night or two, he'd try to extend it by drinking heavily in the morning etc eventually passing out sometime. It's not pretty.
 
It took me five trips to rehabs, an overdose, multiple brushes with death, homelessness, psych wards, etc. To get to a point where I could quit drinking and take it seriously. And yeah I struggled with it since I was 10.

Don't let it get to that point, and do the right thing now. You will thank yourself.
 
Update, got a appointment on Friday. Rescheduled from Thursday.
edit: my substance use councillor/support worker called me this morning, woke up feeling wrecked, she said we'd start with a drink diary.

edit number 2: my appointment is 9th august, 1pm, :) went out with mate for directions.
 
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another update went to the center turns out it was the wrong one and the right one was shortly away turned and called to my counseler and she said oops and we will make it for 24th. yep. so I got a couple days

she reckons and recognises I may be an addict, I mean its been said you dont know you are a one till you got nen left, like from watching 'euphoria (hbo) on tv. she knows, I mean they know about binging and gateway stuff. been sleeping well lately, but wake up feeling anxiety for a few hours its been over a month since benzo use. i am a member of benzobuddies too, fairly sure the withdrawl has passed, havent managed to stay off the drink though, but its a cycle or addiction that anyone could fall into, hopefully never more than once or never at all, got a taste for it you are hooked and even though my use was short and they say you dont need to wean off that amount I think back too the past... years ago with benzo use and the fucked up wd and all the posts I read online about wd just scare me and I think back to how I felt traumized by using them a while while ago, just had to vent. it would be easy to go back in an instant, but I've been avoiding and the wd itself is complex I mean you can only use them safely at best for a few days or very rarely.
 
off for a month bro? that's what up. and you are doing the right things. hey you should be vigilant like you are! you are not underplaying it and that can be a thing so you at least are aware. maybe anxiety comes with aware but keep up the good work always know it's a real thing and can get grips on anyone. so don't feel guilty too
 
Got a hep c test came negative had a discussion and an assessment, just felt like i was on the road so to speak. friday 13th (yes really) ill be going back and more sessions after that, they just wanted to see where i was at got given narcan IM, drinking stopping papers, be going to my doctor again for a blood test for LFTs and was recommended I get thiamine from my doctor.

just went fine, few other people in the building at the time.

itsthestigmathatkills
 
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