films: Cinematic Devices That You Hate...

[L2R]

I also hate any example where the protagonist needs to "hack" into a computer by GUESSING a password.

That actually doesn't bother me at all. I think it's really stupid/funny (probably because I love cheesy Arnold movies).

in those kinds of movies they're hilarious, but this phenomena appears in "more serious" action flicks too.

When complete stupidity is required from the main character(s) in order to advance the plot.
"Hmm, a psychopath. I saw that guy bury a body in his garden. I'm gonna dig it up! Ah - I hear screaming coming from the house... I'm going to wander in and investigate".


Why does no one ever pay taxi/cab drivers in movies?


Why do computers tend to have have monochrome displays? Or better yet, black background with green cursor displays.
Also... would it be so hard to hire someone (say... an undergrad compsci for £5 an hour) to point out computer tech-babble which actually makes no sense or is wrong?

I find it hilarious how everything how to be an exaggeration to the point where typing (or words appearing on a monitor) makes computer bleep sounds.

Its not a "device" but something that pisses me off to no end is how characters talk extremely softly and you have to turn the volume wayyy up to hear them, but the action noises or music is blasting loud. Damn it, it needs to be the opposite. I might just be hard of hearing though, I have a difficult time hearing people in real life as well and have to ask them to repeat often.

very bloody annoying!

I always find it funny when a detective is trying to solve a case, goes to some key person's house (the criminal's ex-girlfriend, boss, mother, etc), asks, like, 3 questions, and then says "thanks for your time".

Detective: "I'm Jack Carter. I'm a private dick. Mind if I ask you some questions?"
Lady: "Sure. I got nothing better to do."
Detective: "So you used to be Rico's girlfriend?"
Lady: "Yeah and he was a real louse. He used to beat me and then he took off with some blonde bimbo without even saying goodbye"
Detective: "And idea where he is?"
Lady: "I haven't seen him in months. I say good riddance."
Detective: "OK, thanks for your time, ma'am."

I can think of about 900 other questions that might be helpful in finding this dude. Like "What kind of car does he drive?" or "What are his regular hangouts?" or the obvious one "Do you know anyone else who might know where he is?"
Now I realize that a dude asking a bunch of questions for 15 minutes would not make the best entertainment. But come on, if he drove 2 hours to meet this lady, he'd like to make it worth his time.

On the flip side, it's kinda gay when a cop goes into a rough neighborhood and some black badass is way too willing to talk to cops.
Cop: "I hear you used to hang out with Rico. We're looking for him."
Gangsta: "I don't know nothing, man."
Cop: "You can tell us here or we can take you back to the station ask you there. Now where is he?"
Gangsta: "OK, man, I saw him last week at the pool hall. I hear he's started working for Big Lou. I swear that's all I know."

You see this more in cop TV shows than in movies but it happens a lot.

Another stupid device is when the witness won't talk so the cop puts his gun to the crook's head and pretends like he's going to shoot him if he won't talk. The other cop goes "My partner's serious! He's crazy, man! So you better tell us where Mr. Big is hiding out! He'll do it!"

lol@ that whole post. :D

 

[MynameisnotDeja]

I also hate any example where the protagonist needs to "hack" into a computer by GUESSING a password.

lol.. and they always guess it in maybe 3 tries.

 

[Captain Commie]

^ another good example would be "enemy at the gates." though i LOVE the movie... the love story almost ruined it completely for me.

good call, I felt the same way. It bothered me because I read Zaitsev's bibliography written by him (in russian) and no such girl or romance between them existed so it totally fucked up the movie.

yeah, and on the other side, stupid short lines before firing a weapon.

agreed although in some cases such as Saving Private Ryan where the sniper would say something before gettin a headshot was pretty effective.

 

[captainballs]

When directors slowly squeeze the screen so that it is more narrow. It is supposed to make you focus on the scene extra hard, I think, but it really looks just like someone is trying to sneak it in there and it is actually really noticeable so all of a sudden it just makes me not pay attention as hard. I really don't see the point in it - it should be done away with permanently. I don't outright "hate" it, but I can see myself hating it if they're still doing it when I'm an old man in a rocking chair.

 

[Damien]

When guns make a lot of noise just by being moved around.

 

[EA-1475]

I dunno about anyone else, but I think it would be pretty cool if punches sounded like thunderclaps like they do in movies. I would go out looking for fights all the time.

 

[cletus]

Why do all psycho killers have the chasing skillz of Pepe Le Pew? No matter how fit, fast & agile the victim is, the killer meanders along without a care in the world & always catches them without being out of breath.

 

[L2R]

When guns make a lot of noise just by being moved around.

how many times can a gun be cocked?

 

[Barney Who-Ah]

Why do all psycho killers have the chasing skillz of Pepe Le Pew? No matter how fit, fast & agile the victim is, the killer meanders along without a care in the world & always catches them without being out of breath.

Because they symbolize death which moves much the same way and always catches us no matter how fast we run.

 

[vegan]

loopholes bigger than the film budget

if you're going to put millions of dollars in a movie, have it make sense at least


people falling on the back from higher than 1 m without getting hurt
they've not lived real life apparently
real ground hurts

same with people getting a sword or 5 bullets thought their bodies, shouting "adrian!" and going through the fight


the outsider who insists on sticking with the group although he doesn't have the required skills, only to be a burden to the group and maybe having a few killed in order to save him

the trailer of star trek

more for sure, but i'm working tomorrow, so bye bye

 

[junglist15]

most CGI, esp. the Pixar shit

 

[Barney Who-Ah]

I don’t like it when a movie starts playing some heavy handed song to try and conjure up emotions. The movie and the actors should be able to do that. If you have to whack in a song to make the audience feel a certain way then the script is probably a bit weak because the audience are actually having an emotional response to the song not the film. This is one of the reasons why music is prohibited in the Dogma Manifesto. Here’re the goals and rules of the Dogma Manifesto:

The goal of the Dogme collective is to purify filmmaking by refusing expensive and spectacular special effects, postproduction modifications and other gimmicks. The emphasis on purity forces the filmmakers to focus on the actual story and on the actors' performances. The audience may also be more engaged as they do not have overproduction to alienate them from the narrative, themes, and mood. To this end, Lars von Trier and Thomas Vinterberg produced ten rules to which any Dogme film must conform. These rules, referred to as the "Vow of Chastity," are as follows: [1]
1. Filming must be done on location. Props and sets must not be brought in (if a particular prop is necessary for the story, a location must be chosen where this prop is to be found).
2. The sound must never be produced apart from the images or vice versa. (Music must not be used unless it occurs within the scene being filmed, i.e., diegetic).
3. The camera must be a hand-held camera. Any movement or immobility attainable in the hand is permitted. (The film must not take place where the camera is standing; filming must take place where the action takes place.)
4. The film must be in colour. Special lighting is not acceptable. (If there is too little light for exposure the scene must be cut or a single lamp be attached to the camera).
5. Optical work and filters are forbidden.
6. The film must not contain superficial action. (Murders, weapons, etc. must not occur.)
7. Temporal and geographical alienation are forbidden. (That is to say that the film takes place here and now.)
8. Genre movies are not acceptable.
9. The final picture must be transferred to the Academy 35mm film, with an aspect ratio of 4:3, that is, not widescreen. (Originally, the requirement was that the film had to be filmed on Academy 35mm film, but the rule was relaxed to allow low-budget productions.)
10. The director must not be credited.

Of all the Dogma movies I recommend Festen. It’s brilliant.

 

[undead]

wow, the dogma manifesto should be renamed to the boring manifesto. any film that follows that set of rules would be a snooze fest in my opinion. it sounds like the dogma manifesto was created, more or less, to validate all the independent film makers with no budgets.

 

[Damien]

lol I think that bullshit needs it's own thread!

 

[Barney Who-Ah]

wow, the dogma manifesto should be renamed to the boring manifesto. any film that follows that set of rules would be a snooze fest in my opinion. it sounds like the dogma manifesto was created, more or less, to validate all the independent film makers with no budgets.

Yeah. Films with car chases, explosions and violent resolutions are never boring. 8)

But seriously, when I was posting about devices that annoy me it reminded me of why the Dogma Manifesto was created. But don’t kid your self studio films have to adhere to dogmatic rules to. When a studio gets a script the readers first give the script the fan test which means they just flick through the script to look at the composition of the pages and if there are too many large blocks of words or not enough of the right sized blocks the script gets discarded before it is even read. If the script does get read the readers count the pages while they’re reading to make sure things like: the inciting incident, plot points and the climax all happen on or around certain pages. They have a checklist they mark off while they read marking off whether or not these things happen when they’re “supposed” to. If they don’t the script gets discarded.

 

[undead]

Yeah. Films with car chases, explosions and violent resolutions are never boring. 8)

when did i ever say i was interested in car chases, explosions, and violent resolutions? 8)

i like films with good stories, good acting, etc. just because the color, the sound, the picture, etc. is touched up, doesn't mean it degrades the integrity of the film. and adding music CERTAINLY doesn't. music and film go hand in hand in my opinion and having a movie without any music would be (in more cases than not) a complete bore and feel as though it's lacking.

 

[EA-1475]

i like films with good stories, good acting, etc. just because the color, the sound, the picture, etc. is touched up, doesn't mean it degrades the integrity of the film. and adding music CERTAINLY doesn't. music and film go hand in hand in my opinion and having a movie without any music would be (in more cases than not) a complete bore and feel as though it's lacking.

Agreed.
Music and film have gone hand in hand from the beginning. In the silent era, movies were played with a live orchestra or at minimum, a piano player (if it was a small theater in nowheresville). In the 1920's, movie theaters were the largest employers of musicians in the country and many people would claim they went to the movies "just for the music".
The use of orchestral music in movies that is still used today is actually a tradition carried over from the silent era. If you think about it, if sound films were invented today, no one would think "Hey, let's put some classical music over this airplane fight."

However, if you watch movies from 1928 to around 1931, when they were transitioning from silents to talkies, they rarely used music. They only used "source music" (ie. music that the characters in the movie could hear). Like if someone turned on a radio or there was a band playing in the background.
The thinking was that it would confuse the audience to have music coming from seemingly nowhere. Then they realized that was dumb.

I'm way off topic here. But I have so much useless knowledge that I never get a chance to put use.

 

[undead]

glad you did though. interesting bit of trivia.

 

[Barney Who-Ah]

when did i ever say i was interested in car chases, explosions, and violent resolutions? 8)

i like films with good stories, good acting, etc. just because the color, the sound, the picture, etc. is touched up, doesn't mean it degrades the integrity of the film. and adding music CERTAINLY doesn't. music and film go hand in hand in my opinion and having a movie without any music would be (in more cases than not) a complete bore and feel as though it's lacking.

I just don’t like it when film makers rely too heavily on a song to evoke an emotional response from the audience because the story isn’t strong enough to do it on its own. In some films it becomes blatantly obvious when the music overwhelms what you’re seeing on the screen. In fact it can be quite jarring and I’ll find myself thinking why are they doing this? and more often than not it’s because the scene or the story is actually quite weak.

 

[continuousbeing2]

when a conversation takes place between two people who are supposed to be speaking a foreign language but is done in English for the audience's benefit and they are speaking English with whatever foreign accent