Feeling lost in a world full of signs

[Reizo]

This may not belong on this website, but I need to let this out somewhere because it's driving me insane. I would like to know if my views are warped, i'm ill or something because anyone I talk to about this doesn't understand. I literally feel alone on this. I'll try to keep it as brief as possible.


Being a deep thinker and a naturally creative person I look around at the world and study patterns and how things have developed over the years. I see life on the planet, creatures and plants and I understand how they all relate, their tree of evolution is logical and they all seem to resemble one another. Animals and plants consume resources and create waste in limited, constructive amounts. All actions they do have an effect that is beneficial to a food cycle or another living thing.
We, as humans however are completely destructive, we just keep making more of ourselves, keep wasting, keep consuming resources. It seems like one human being in there life time consumes and destroys to the equivilent of an entire species of creature, like a rabbit for instance.
I look at the sanctum and sacred meanings behind life, the glory of living and the beauty of what it is to be alive. I then see it all being taken away and great forces in western society being imposed upon people to abide to certain ways of life and to become a by-product of a system that works by mass consumption and degrading use of its employees. People becoming tools, working for money, helping the people abouve them to become prosperous whilst they take in little earnings. It seems like a person can no longer earn the sweat from their own brow. Meaning the harder they work doesn't neccesarily mean the greater the reward.
I look at what I want out of life. I want to draw, to create, to be an artist (comic artist) and even make music. But I am forced into constant work where I don't have the time or energy for what I love because I need the money to get me places because it's the only way to be in our world.
Every day that goes past I contribute to the destruction of this planet, I help the Earth die.
So I've come to realize that I can't live my life how I want, I can't live my passions and create like I want to and each time I purcahse or create waste I am pushing things into a deeper and deeper downward spiral. I then see the only way for my to win, or anyone to win is to end myself.
I am unhappy.


Sorry for long message. I am sure most of that is madness, illogical crap that doesn't make any sense. I might be getting sent to therapy to get my head sorted out because I'm disturbed or something apparently.

Just wanted to share.

 

[welshmick]

Get it out - it's right

 

[SnailS1904]

I then see the only way for my to win, or anyone to win is to end myself.

seems a little drastic, but what your saying does make sense
im sorry your not able to persue your passion

 

[coelophysis]

Every day that goes past I contribute to the destruction of this planet, I help the Earth die.

Just because there are some destructive dick head of a species living on Earth right now, does not mean the Earth is going to die. We're nowhere near that significant. If anything we're a minor problem that won't be around for that long because we'll kill ourselves off. Earth isn't going anywhere anytime soon.

So I've come to realize that I can't live my life how I want, I can't live my passions and create like I want to

If your passions are to create, then actually create, get creative about your creations and do something different, or do something that contributes positively.

 

[Reizo]

If your passions are to create, then actually create, get creative about your creations and do something different, or do something that contributes positively.

I don't think I will ever forget that

 

[ikkyu]

I look at what I want out of life. I want to draw, to create, to be an artist (comic artist) and even make music. But I am forced into constant work where I don't have the time or energy for what I love because I need the money to get me places because it's the only way to be in our world.
Every day that goes past I contribute to the destruction of this planet, I help the Earth die.
So I've come to realize that I can't live my life how I want, I can't live my passions and create like I want to and each time I purcahse or create waste I am pushing things into a deeper and deeper downward spiral. I then see the only way for my to win, or anyone to win is to end myself.

There is no reason for you to check out early, and you are not "ill" for feeling this way.

I recommend trying to look at your situation as a challenge rather than a hopeless trap with no escape. The latter view will only lead you into depression, which sucks.

It is possible to become less reliant on work/money by eliminating from your life the things that cost money but that you do not need. Minimizing your contribution to the landfills dovetails with this quite nicely. The less stuff you buy, the less time you'll have to spend working and the more time and energy you'll have to focus on more creative pursuits. The real challenge here is learning to constructively manage the vast amount of free time you'll have to work with. Most of us aren't used to living this way and it can be a real struggle to adjust at first.

Remember that you are better than this system of degradation would allow you to believe. Caving in and allowing these destructive forces (both internal and external) to get the best of you is not an option. If you fancy yourself a creative individual who is in tune with the world, then embody that ideal and create solutions for yourself. Live your life the way you want to, not the way that you're expected to.

 

[Reizo]

There is no reason for you to check out early, and you are not "ill" for feeling this way.

I recommend trying to look at your situation as a challenge rather than a hopeless trap with no escape. The latter view will only lead you into depression, which sucks.

It is possible to become less reliant on work/money by eliminating from your life the things that cost money but that you do not need. Minimizing your contribution to the landfills dovetails with this quite nicely. The less stuff you buy, the less time you'll have to spend working and the more time and energy you'll have to focus on more creative pursuits. The real challenge here is learning to constructively manage the vast amount of free time you'll have to work with. Most of us aren't used to living this way and it can be a real struggle to adjust at first.

Remember that you are better than this system of degradation would allow you to believe. Caving in and allowing these destructive forces (both internal and external) to get the best of you is not an option. If you fancy yourself a creative individual who is in tune with the world, then embody that ideal and create solutions for yourself. Live your life the way you want to, not the way that you're expected to.

That's incredible, that is it in one. I have been thinking about this from one angle inside a box and havent twigged to the fact this is something of a challenge, something to combat against. Being able to combat it and being aware of it is better than being ignorant of it.
What you said is brilliant, it's something I wasn't expecting to hear and it has jumped out to me.

I hope this helps me get towards my happier life

 

[Chaos Butterfly]

Shifting from Homeless to Philosophy and Spirituality...

 

[BurnOneDown]

I look at what I want out of life. I want to draw, to create, to be an artist (comic artist) and even make music. But I am forced into constant work where I don't have the time or energy for what I love because I need the money to get me places because it's the only way to be in our world.

I feel the exact same way. Being myself to the fullest is not compatible with modern society. I am not progressive or driven. I have little value for material things. I would be a cheerful beat. But that would mean losing the love of my family. So I have to sacrifice my true self to compromise. I have to fulfill a role in society and invest in material things. It's a sad truth.

I have a quote from East of Eden that i think you will appreciate:

And this I believe: that the free, exploring mind of the individual human is the most valuable thing in the world. And this I would fight for: the freedom of the mind to take any direction it wishes, undirected. And this I must fight against: any idea, religion, or government which limits or destroys the individual. This is what I am and what I am about. I understand why a system built on a pattern must try to destroy the free mind, for that is one thing which can by inspection destroy such a system. Surely I can understand this, and I hate it and I will fight against it to preserve the one thing that separates us from the uncreative beasts. If the glory can be killed, we are lost.

 

[Tuski]

I know how you feel.

To me, the key is to hold onto my conviction, to recognize that even though I may feel as though I am on the outside of something looking in that I am trying to do things the right way. Not just the way with the quickest reward.

This does exclude you from a lot of things, but quite frankly I would rather have a food forest and a cob house over a big mac and a mansion any day. Keep your priorities even when it seems others around you have mixed theirs up. It seems to me that people are misguided and looking for help, they grab what is being spoon fed to them.
Someone has to be there to give them an alternative.
Why not you?

 

[space.age.sound]

I believe there are still ways to opt out of this society, but its not going to be easy. I'm still looking for a way out and a way forward, but I still believe trying to make something even more amazing out of this amazing thing called life is the right path.

Dont let things end with the wonder of life, as a creator - strive to push things up to another level!

 

[mr_p]

perspective ~



try and see life as a gift rather then a curse (despite the intense challenges)


you seem like a pretty onto it collective of stardust ~ find your centre and get grounded, 'be the change you wanna see' ect ect....

What if I should discover that the poorest of the beggars and the most impudent of offenders are all within me, and that I stand in need of the alms of my own kindness; that I myself am the enemy who must be loved-- what then?
- Carl Jung

 

[IamAnotherYou]

I feel similar to you..i can not live the life i want because of the ways we are told to live. There are forces in place that dictate what is possible and what isn't. I see life completely different than anyone i know. I wish not to believe in society's box...a box that houses all the beliefs we are told to believe in because anything is possible if you believe in it enough.

In order for me to be happy i find ways to be creative. I read things that inspire me to expand my consciousness to ideas that are unknown. I alter my perception to see the bigger picture that expands beyond my ego self or any other standards we currently live by.To me, the way society has been living , is just a game that we play in order to grow and add experience. This linear timeline of dualistic history has been a great endeavor for humanity. It has taught many lesson we could not have learned if things were perfect all the time.

As long as your in a peaceful calm place of balance within yourself, being creative and expressing your passion, you can feel some hope. We are naturally seekers and nothing that this limiting 3d paradigm has to offer can fulfill what we long for. change the way you see life, if your current view does not serve you. If i believed what i was told, believed what i see on TV, believed that i have nothing to offer unless i go to school, believed that i have to suffer to be happy...than i would be depressed too. It's all a matter of what you believe in, and if your thoughts make you unhappy, than change them.

Life is going to get way better pretty soon, ..just have faith that there is a greater plan going on that is going to benefit all of us. We can not live this same way for too much longer, things have to change. It won't change over night but gradually things will improve

 

[MyDoorsAreOpen]

There is no reason for you to check out early, and you are not "ill" for feeling this way.

I recommend trying to look at your situation as a challenge rather than a hopeless trap with no escape. The latter view will only lead you into depression, which sucks.

It is possible to become less reliant on work/money by eliminating from your life the things that cost money but that you do not need. Minimizing your contribution to the landfills dovetails with this quite nicely. The less stuff you buy, the less time you'll have to spend working and the more time and energy you'll have to focus on more creative pursuits. The real challenge here is learning to constructively manage the vast amount of free time you'll have to work with. Most of us aren't used to living this way and it can be a real struggle to adjust at first.

Remember that you are better than this system of degradation would allow you to believe. Caving in and allowing these destructive forces (both internal and external) to get the best of you is not an option. If you fancy yourself a creative individual who is in tune with the world, then embody that ideal and create solutions for yourself. Live your life the way you want to, not the way that you're expected to.

Well said. Couldn't have put it better.

 

[hoptis]

No offence but you're not disturbed, nor do you need to end yourself. You may not even need therapy.

You sound like you're young, creative and deeply sensitive.

Don't mourn the footprint you're leaving on the planet when you haven't even begun to contribute something of yourself back. I'd scarce imagine the world we'll have in twenty years if all young, intelligent and creative people decided they couldn't stomach buying food from a supermarket and opted out of life.

Very few creative people in this world start from a position of wealth, but all the one's that make it, make time for their art. No matter what how hard they have to work. All the best

 

[mr_p]

I would also like to add that you are not alone...

in this world, so many people project outwardly a false image of 'how they should be' .....

the questions 'How are you going' is so often replied with a false 'yeh great, everythings good'...

BS!

life is suffering, it is challenging ..... (its also beautiful and magical at times, but generally life for most people is not all smooth sailing and tea and biccys...

so embrace this dark period.... LOVE that you are questioning and aware'


usually when there is big turmoil or rocky times, this means there is great insight around the corner...


ACTION: get up now and shake it ... shake it all about (your body)

activate your energy ~ its unique and your soul contains seeds that are just waiting for the right enviornment to germinate and take root..

you have to create this environment/cultivate the soil in your soul

Don't Be and Extra in your own movie ~

~

 

[Reizo]

You guys are awesome and helpful. I would have never imagined such ability to relate to others and hear such great and sound advice. It really is helpful and reading your ideas and stories has helped to work things out in my head.

Life is a long journey, an interesting one, one that leads us down one path and we end up in another. But as long as we stay true and remain patient and passionate about or goals, we will become happy and prosperious - This is what I seem to see now.

thanks guys and the best of luck to you all

 

[leftovers]

Reverence for life is essential I have found, I don't watch tv or opt for the current system, I paint and make music and eat simple foods.
It can be done, its an attitude that is required, I worked in jobs for years and years Reizo. On the weekends I did my art my music.
It seems we can reach out, we can accept the past and the hell humanity has created on this planet and still we can heal aspects.

You are what the planet is crying out for, more souls like you.

Your values are profound.

and nothing wrong with therapy if you need to talk to someone about feelings as if you talk to some family member etc your privacy sometimes gets abused. Whereas a therapist is bound to privacy.
So you can let off steam if and when you need to. I have found letter writing to be useful, get it all off my chest to the person who did me harm for example, then I burn it offering it up to the univers, law of karma or whatever to sort out!

draw draw draw

 

[laurengotdatfire]

I often find myself buried in these type of thoughts as well. We think its bad now, just imagine how much worse it could get before the planet can not take anymore. Its scary really and the only way I see fit to escape the fear and filth of this world is to leave it. Though, my plan is foiled because of the fact that we will never know if we are, in fact, going to ever return to this place once we leave. I sure hope not. There is the love of this world and the love of eternity, and I'm sure you possess the latter. I do as well.

 

[Benshaman]

All iv got to say is thank you. Almost the exact thought was bringing me down before i read your post. I continuesly get the feeling that im the only one who truely has respect for myself, my people, and my home. Im very glad im wrong. Only advice i can give is, keep your chin and remember your not alone, its a tough battle but im gonna be fighting it as long as i exsist.