Feeling discouraged..

[Anomaly88]

Hey guys, Anomaly here. Alright so here's the thing. I'm working on 2 years clean and sober from all drugs and alcohol. (Feb 11th) I'm not too big into the program as I used to be. Schools going good. After this semester i'll have a year and a half left until I finish up my marketing degree. Hoping to be a pharm rep. Making good grades as usual now that I am sober. Bust ass. Getting my skydiving license. Pretty stoked about that. A lot has changed. Things are good for the most part. BUT there's still a part of me that hasn't quite caught up to par. I am still so god damn afraid, my social skills are shit, I find myself very withdrawn, I dont have many friends nowadays and get lonely every so often.. no good with girls. yada,yada. I hate it. Especially the fact that my degree conflicts with who I have turned out to be.. Its not the worst but honestly it sucks. I cant just carelessly have a simple conversation with a stranger and converse like other people can. Also, the fact that I'm a drug addict still makes me feel "less than" towards others and I dont feel like I amount to them. I have low self esteem and low self confidence from my upbringing.. It gets fucking old man. I wish I can change it but it seems impossible.. I just keep pushing forward hoping to one day get through this but honestly I dont see how. I am thinking of maybe trying some therapy or counseling or something to work on my social skills and confidence and all that... may work. Couldnt hurt. I am not getting any results like that through the 12 steps. Im about to turn 21 and the college life is tough being sober.. Idk. Guess Im ranting.

 

[spork]

I think it's great that you're looking at therapy to help with the social skills. Working on your self confidence will do wonders for you. Are you going to meetings still? If not you might want to consider going so you can get some social interaction as well as keep working on your sobriety. The other people that go to meetings will be understanding of your social issues so it'll be less intimidating and you can get some practice. Try hard to get yourself out there. It might feel a little awkward at first, but these things get easier with practice.

 

[sixpartseven]

Losing self confidence is the worst part about sobriety. I have 18 months clean and am nowhere near being as confident - mainly socially - as I used to be. I go to meetings at least 3 times a week but I find myself leaving before it's my turn to share. I can't bring myself to talk about anything in front of these people, even though everyone I've met and see regularly is really cool and friendly. The few times I do try to talk, I can't focus because I'm so nervous. I lose my train of thought and have to cut myself off before making a total fool of myself.

I wish I had something to offer you other than an "I can relate." I hope things continue to go well for you and that these issues you still have work themselves out.

 

[Anomaly88]

Yeah I make meetings on the weekend and try and interact and do things with the group.. some days are better than others. Some days I participate and feel in the mood to, others days I just want to run and hide.. they say you practice those in the rooms first.. idk, like six said its just hard for me to bring myself to do those things. I know its going to be good for me and help me grow. But all the fear and rejection that comes from interacting with others keeps me isolated.. I hate it but I find myself more and more withdrawn the longer I wait and dont do anything about it D:

 

[S0SickofThesePills]

Hey man- I just wanted to drop an idea by you that really helped me a lot with some of these same issues. It's a group called Toastmasters, I won't get into all the details but it really helped me and they have groups and meetings everywhere. A couple years ago I got a promotion I probably wasn't ready for and had to give presentations to huge groups of people and meet with community and business leaders that intimidated me.

Somebody recommended Toastmasters to me and it really helped. I became a lot more confident speaking in public and meeting new people...and the great thing is that everyone is there for the same reason.

So just a thought man, best of luck