Feel stuck

[tubgirl.jpg]

Thanks so much @tubgirl.jpg

Nothing to thank me for man.

And I will look in to it. I'm going to be getting EMDR therapy possibly once I meet with my new psychologist and see if it's right. So I'll ask her about it thanks. Edit: just re-read your post. That's actually exactly what I've been doing that's helped recently is challenge everything through a different perspective minus writing it down but I will actually start writing down the nasty things a lot that I was put through because I have a problem with romanticising the relationship like the last time I took him back.

That's great, I'm so happy to hear that. It's tough, breaking up and breaking clean. I'm bad at it too.

So I have managed to get his mum on board to help finally, and she took him to his place yesterday and surprisingly it went ok so far, bit dramatic but ok. I think he is a nice person deep down but I don't think he can help but to fall in to the same pattern again and again and it's literally crazy cause he doesn't feel he needs to do anything about it and that me being a doormats fine.

Yeah, he needs professional help by the sounds off it. I was dating this girl with BPD a while, a man - it was war, every day. Or she went to war, at least.
Those kind of extreme mood swings are hard to adapt to. Especially if the person is abusive, either verbally or physically.

Fuck it anyway. I have my detox on the second week of August and I turn 30 before that so I'm not fucking about anymore.

Something to look forward to, that's crucial, I think, in situations like these. Instead of just sitting at home and overthinking.

I thought for a long time it was depression etc but when I noticed patterns and actually REALIZED that it's all manipulation and all about him then at some point I've had to put myself first. I was gonna go crazy or kill myself.

That's what's so messed up. You know that something is wrong, but you can't put you're finger on it, if they are savvy manipulators.
I find it impossible to be friends with people like that. I can't trust them - their volatile temper is just a stress-factor for me.

I'm glad you didn't go mad or take an early exit!

I've managed to be a lot more productive already today and I even managed to drink less alcohol last night. This site has really helped me to come to the conclusions I needed to, I'm very greatful for that, and I think finally the stars have aligned somehow. I actually would now prefer to be alone at this moment than in any relationship. They are a lot of effort lol but one day at a time!

Awesome. Great with the alcohol man! Changes are tough, but good things can come from seemingly shit.
Just look at cow-dung and trippy mushrooms.

I hope it goes well. Keep us updated so we know you're okay?

 

[stardust10]

Honestly can't say enough how lovely people are on here but I don't wanna suck people's dicks too much lol. Great bunch of people though

You know what sometimes I'm actually sitting here and thinking he's coming down the stairs and I feel myself shuddering slightly, then I realize I don't have to be on guard. And it's bloody lovely!!