favorite joke?

Brevity is the soul of wit, Sinthetik! I really wish we lived in a world where these jokes could be told without a disclaimer...oh well.
Reminds me of one I posted here ever so long ago...not really a joke, just a funny line:
All things being equal, fat people use more soap.
 
Oh! One for flux...
What would you rather load on a truck, bowling balls or dead babies?
Babies, because you can use a pitchfork.
Not the best, but I have to repay you somehow.
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Ha!
here's one to throw out when describing someone, let's say, not so aesthetically appealling.
"She'd be pretty if she wasn't so ugly"
you get the jist....
 
A blonde and a brunette are walking along the footpath, the brunette (an extremely caring young girl, who dreams of becoming a vet), says to the blonde,
"oh, no...look at that poor dead Red Breasted Sparrow (??)"
The blonde looks up to the sky and says
"Oh, where, where?"
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What are three, 2 letter words for small...
IS IT IN ?
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What do pubic hair and parsley both have in common?
You just push them both aside and keep on eating.
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EWWWW! MOOOOOONAA!
you're HORRIBLE! DIRTY and HORRIBLE.
But I like you.
cheers
me.
...ummm...somehow the silly soup made it's way onto my plate today
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just another punchline to MR. sticky's
Whats the difference between a blond and a bowling ball?
You can't fit a blond in a bowling ball!!!
 
"She's so ugly, it looks like she fell off the ugly tree and hit every branch."
Aright, don't even get me started on the "She's so... / He's so... / Your momma's so....." jokes.
Alright, get me started.
Your momma's so poor, she has to fight off the seagulls in the back of McDonalds parking lot for the leftover french fries.
Your brothers so ugly, he gets fed with a sling slot.
Your momma's so fat, when she wears her Malcom X sweater, helicopters land on her.
Bring it on!
 
keep em coming.............
up up up ...........
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If you can't change it - get over it. If you can - do!
 
wow
didn't think my measly thread would get that big of a response
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it's nice to see some good spirits on this board as of late!!!
you guys are making me laugh ,my ass off with your jokes!!
thanks for the smile
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love
rapture
[This message has been edited by rapture (edited 11 January 2000).]
 
Sure I'll marry you, Mr. Sticky, but I want a really BIG ring....And you've inspired me to throw out a couple more, though they won't quite match that other jewel.
What did the leper say to the prostitue?
Keep the change.
What did the deaf, dumb, and blind boy get for Christmas?
Cancer.
(I have other that I consider much better, but would probably be lynched by an angry, p.c. mob if I told them. I'll email them to you if you want....)
 
What did one lesbian frog say to the other?
They're right, we do taste like chicken!
In the Yo Mama category:
Yo mama's so nasty she has to put ice down her pants to keep the crabs fresh!
Yo mama's so fat, her nickname is DAMN!
 
What do you call a female deer that lives at a pick factory?
A Dill-Doe!!!
hahahahhahahehhehehehehooohhhhhhYEAH!!!!
 
ok,ok heres another, they just keep poppin in my head.
What do dildos and soy beans have in common?
They're both meat substitutes!
yyeesssssssss!!
 
Ok I am just laughing my ass off as I am reading this major props to ya rapture
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Ok how about some of these........
What has no arms and no legs and is on your doorstep............Mattt.
What has no arms and no legs in the ocean.............Bob
ok here are some different ones.....hehehehehe
How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face......she answered the iron....how did she burn the other side..........they called back....Hehehehehehehe I love that one
ok of course I know a million more but shiot cant remember them LOL
Well hope younejoyed amnd I know I will enjoy more posts i hope
Peace....
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........RuRu
 
I just flew in from Berlin and boy are my arms tired.
What's grey and comes in quarts?
An elephant.
What's pink and bubbly and thumps on the glass?
A baby in the microwave.
What's black and sits in the corner?
Baby with his finger in the power socket.
What's green and black and sits in the corner?
Same baby two weeks later.
What's gross?
Live baby at the bottom of a pile of dead ones
What's grosser than that?
He's trying to eat his way out.
(ba dum ching!) Thank you I'll be here all the week.
-pöd
 
A drunken man staggers into a Catholic church and sits down in a confessional booth and says nothing. The bewildered priest coughs to attract his attention, but still the man says nothing. The priest then knocks on the wall three times in a final attempt to get the man to speak. Finally the drunk replies, "No use knockin' pal- there's no paper in this
one either...!
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If you can't change it - get over it. If you can - do!
 
Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
Because he felt crumby.
hehehehe...
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