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father actually wants to turn company over to me ....and im broke

H

HYDRO_CHRONIC

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Apr 23, 2001
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its a tree service ,4 trucks, one bucket+equipment(he might just sell the bucket) ....ive never felt so happy in my life that I have "something" where I can possibly provide for my child (due around jan3) and im slowly realizing it just might be too much for me too handle ...even though this "event" has awoke something in me that hasn't been felt in years ,the urge to be something ,make myself proud ,really provide for the people I love ....and its slowly fading ....this is really heartbreaking to me cause ive been in tree service all my life and it will just be years wasted since everything will probably have to be sold....and me ,well I feel the pull of the needle getting stronger and stronger as I realize this may be my only shot and its going to pass me by.....now I realize my child should be the "thing" to get me going ,but I feel in over my head without some stably income so im taking it day by day ,im getting REALLY discouraged ...and no my father will not "help" besides telling me everything im doing wrong ,wich is how its always been

just needed to tell somebody this and get it out
 
You have a great opportunity right now and it seems you realize that. The nagging voice in your head telling you that you can't do something is just the fear that comes up whenever we are about to face our biggest challenges, which coincidentally happen before our greatest rewards. Steven Pressfield calls it The Resistance in his book, The War of Art, and it rears its head especially when we're close to achieving our goals.

There's a million and one things that you could be worrying about now, but you shouldn't give a flying fuck about 99.999% of them. The only thing that you should focus on is what's in your control, which is only a handful of things. Concentrate on doing the best on using the experience and abilities that YOU KNOW YOU HAVE. Don't give up before you even take the first step or you'll be left wondering, "What if?" for the rest of your life. Don't lose yourself in the big picture, take it one day at a time. Of your dad can do it, why can't you? If he doesn't think you can, he wouldn't have given it to you. If you still think he doesn't believe you can do it: FUCK HIM, prove him wrong.

This short podcast might help you or it might not. Give it a listen either way, the second half of it reminds me a lot of what you're going through :

 
I don't think you understand I don't have the money...bad credit ,bad reputation with family ,even though they don't know the real me ,insurance alone will prob be out of this world ,I tried finding people that would back me for a return of what they give me and a percentage till I get back on my feet but no dice
 
Make sure you look at all available options. Do your research. Give it a shot.

What's the worst that could happen? That's not a rhetorical question; I'm genuinely curious.
 
cool man. i dunno what max power is on about but it sounds like classic impostor syndrome. just gotta shake it off and move forward
 
thujone said:
cool man. i dunno what max power is on about but it sounds like classic impostor syndrome. just gotta shake it off and move forward
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Just ignore me, dude. There's no validity to my statements whatsoever.

You're spot on.
 
This is a chance to change your life. On the subject of the needle, if you fully occupy yourself with work that you're interested in, that's a chance to put things into perspective.
 
well all my life ive felt like a compass that just steadily spins ,never finding the right direction......I hate feeling this way ,plus I have pretty ad social anxiety etc

this was a family company ,my father uncle couple cousins etc all helped ,now that my dad is retire'n and said he was turning stuff over to me....everybody just jumped ship ....right now I have this sense of overwhelming dread and feel alone.....especially with the baby on the way....not to mention there are literally few hundred "companies" in and around this area,that itself is depressing ,we would have a job set up and ready then a latin company will come along and do it for half the price......one thing about it if I can climb it myself then I can do it a little cheaper

I don't know,the main thing that's discouraging me is im not getting support,more on the lines of hes gonna choke,blah blah blah,and the way my personality is ,it fucks with me
 
Ask your father to stay on as an adviser for the big season. He could help make sure nothing goes wrong and step in and help if you get in over your head.
 
Are you afraid you are being set up for failure so that you can be criticized?

Another attitude to the lack of support would be to "show them" instead of being discouraged.
 
he wants out ,he started to get shitty with customers when they asked if he could do it little cheaper,he gained a lot of weight so now he doesn't want to do anything,he got to the point of when a customer called he was kinda saying "what,what the fuck do you want"....he blamed all this on me of coarse ,said my drug use made him not want to do anything,instead of him just getting fatter and fatter lazierand lazier ....he basically says I fucked him up,hes self centered egotistical,but he doesn't understand when I tell him you now if you had just shown that you care,instead of just acting like youd only care if I died then things would have been different ,he never really taught me anything just criticized ,like if I got good at something then it would make him look bad....when I explain this shit to him he says "oh your just looking for a reason to get drunk or high".....I honestly feel like throwing in the towel,he has seen I can climb,then when the main climber was sick or something he wouldn't get me to do it ,hed just be like"oh you just want to climb for money"....then give the job to somebody else ...the more I think about this shit guys the more astounded I get to HY THE FUCK DOES HE ACT THE WAY HE DOES......everybody is taking up his time,bothering him....if I needed help with money ,it was like he basically threw it at my feet like "here...fucking take it ,u disgust me"....

I tried getting the ball rolling months ago by getting new cards made up ,looking for new crew etc ,he shut that down....like hes trying to "keep me in my place" below him

basically im saying NO HE WILL NOT HELP FINACIALLY IN ANYWAY,OR KEEP THE STUFF IN HIS NAME.....thinking about all this again is making me feel like Im going to throw up ....man
 
Your dad sounds like a typical narcissist. I'd do whatever you can to try to make the business work and try to disregard his negativity. Sorry I don't have better advice.

And this...

Max Power said:
How?
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If he turned the business over to you why is he still calling the shots? I'm no expert in law but it sounds like you need to have him legally sign the business over to you. Otherwise it sounds like he will basically still be running it and using you as a scapegoat for anything that goes wrong or doesn't work out.
 
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From the way you just described him, your old man sounds toxic. Do you have someone else who works with you and knows the business and you trust to help until you feel more comfortable running everything on your own?
 
well I had "blueprint" so to speak of the new cards etc ,he just deleted them ,told him I hd people interested in being a new crew....basically said he isn't turning it over to me if im going to pick "dumbasses" to work with,its insane sometimes

I feel like dropping everything,and study something new possibly ,healthcare,music ,guess I did this to myself,i was going to community college and then transfer another college ,I went and took a "placement test" after highschool ,and he said "im going to need you" so I stayed in the biz ,I tried to move up the ladder etc I guess im to blame for staying in this situation
 
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