Family IV Affair

[will66]

So basically my dad and myself live in a mobile home with 7 other people and both of us have been IV'ing heroin together for the past 8 months and of course with any junkie, life has been getting progressively worse.

My father was clean for 9 months before he come out to live with me and I feel I got him hooked again. I am just so tired of living the way I am living. I can't hit a vein anymore and were always broke and just living a shitty life.

Everyone I have talked to says we need to seperate but I just can't seem to do that. I feel if I leave my pops he will self destruct and do something. I just wish we could just both get clean together and move on with our lives. But we have been "wanting to get clean" for months now and I don't know what to do. Its just hard to actually muster up the strength to stay clean.

Should I leave my dad and try to get clean myself or what? I love my dad and we get along great but the drugs have really put everything in disarray

I am just tired of living anymore. I am 21 years old and have been using for 5 years and just feel like there is no end to this and I am one of those people that never gets it. I don't know, if you read this thanks for your time.

 

[oliphill]

I really feel for you man. My situation was different, but I know the misery heroin addiction can bring, especially when your mostly broke.

How about you both go down to see a Subutex doctor together. Get a 30 day detox or something and stick at it together, supporting each other through it? Then if it isn't working think about moving out?

I hope it works out for you, I really do.

 

[carrion Doll]

I agree ^^ go make the appointments or whatever you need to do to get the ball rolling for you both. Maybe if you take the initiative, pops will follow? And if it doesn't work out then you have to do what is best for yourself. I have been here with my mom and I had to walk away. I thought of my mom constantly, wondering when the police would show to tell me she was dead. But I got a call the other day and she is actually good and we are taking the first steps to mending things. Not saying you have to completely walk away, that was just my situation. But do what you have to take care of you.

 

[n3ophy7e]

^^ That is really cool to hear that your mum's doing well carrion

How about you both go down to see a Subutex doctor together. Get a 30 day detox or something and stick at it together, supporting each other through it? Then if it isn't working think about moving out?

This was along the lines of what I was thinking as well. It could make it easier if you have each other to support you through it.

But just be aware that it could also make it harder to resist temptation. I say this because both my partner and I are alcoholics, and most of the time when one of us caves and has a drink, we both cave and end up drinking all night. Now my boyfriend is working away from home and I only get to see him for 1 week every 4 weeks, and it is much MUCH easier to stay sober on my own.

Perhaps you can both go to the doctor and try to get clean together, make a good solid effort, for real this time. Then if it's not working you can separate while you both get clean. You can make a pact with each other that you will not use, and that neither of you will do anything self-destructive etc. Then once you're both clean and confident that you don't need to use drugs anymore, you can come back together and support each other through sobriety.

Good luck man, and please keep us updated with whatever you decide to do

 

[gemini681]

When I was in my late teens I smoked crack every night with my mom. I got pregnant and had to quit cold turkey. We were suppose to do this together and we lived together with her coke dealing man. By day 2 she was smoking crack in front of me while I was forcing myself to bury my attention on tv and pregnancy. Our place was a studio so I couldn't go in my room and hide. I moved in with my ex and had to go my own way. I had to do my own thing a good 5 yrs before she hit bottom.
I think you need to say we are stopping today and if you are not ready we need to take our seperate paths and meet back again later when we are on the same path. He will get clean with you if he is ready or won't but you're not leaving him. He would be choosing a seperate path.

 

[artaxerxes]

Yeah, try to support each other in getting onto 'done or maybe Suboxone if you can both afford it. If you decide on 'done, going to the clinic together would have both positive and negative repercussions but there's something positive in having to get up and go, especially if you've been living without any societal responsibilities for a while. I loathe structure, but it can help. Having someone to support you in the journey every day is really helpful at first too I think.

Getting clean together could really work out for both of you, especially since you seem to work together as a team already. Albeit as one who's going on the downhill slide and not climbing up the tough, but worthwhile, ladder.

I really hope it works out and I admire your relationship with your pops and your dedication to that relationship. Even though it's not taking a healthy form right now, I think it's amazing that you can have that connection and want what's best for each other. I have supported abusive, alcoholic parents for more years than I want to think about, but they play for their own team and my efforts have always been met with defensive, aggressive lies, abuse and roadblocks. So even though I know your situation is really difficult, I admire the love you have for each other.

But then, if getting clean together doesn't work out, don't be afraid to take care of yourself and break free to get free of your addiction. Older people (I'm one of them) can either be a lot more motivated to get clean, with a clear vision of how they've made their decisions and mistakes and what needs to change. Or, they can be more broken down and resigned to their life.

I mean, I can't judge your pops, I don't know what his life has been and what he's been through, but I'm probably close to his age (likely younger actually, maybe by a decade but still), and I could never live with myself in that situation with my child. I'd do my best to help you out even if it meant getting my own worthless ass clean just to help you.

If he's stuck in a place where he can't see any hope in his situation or if he's beaten down by life right now, that's no place for you to be, mentally or physically. So even though it will be very hard to leave your dad, it'll be best. Set a time-frame for your team effort, and if you guys can't do it together, have your plan ready so that you can move away from your environment and bring the change into your life.

I hope it works out for both of you. Stay strong, stay focussed and be kind to yourself. I wish you the best. You can be feeling a lot fucking better, with hope and energy, within 6 months. It won't be easy, but you can do it. And you will feel fucking great.