EXTREMELY depressed after DMT???

[Kkat]

Hi all,

First off, I'm not an avid drug user at all. I've occasionally eaten marijuana, did shrooms once, long ago, and that's it. I grew up with an extremely drug-addicted sister who is now dying due to meth use so I think that was enough to steer me away from experimenting much. I read a bit about DMT in a book called DMT The Spirit Molecule. A friend had some pure DMT and I decided it was something I would like to try. I very much believe there is more beyond this limited world we live in and wanted to delve in and see what I could find. I was completely open to the experience, not nervous at all.

I have hardly smoked anything in my life, so smoking it was really, REALLY hard. It hurt so much. I think I also felt conflicted as we were using a meth pipe and it brought up thoughts of my sister even though I know DMT is a whole different thing.

I didn't get enough to blast off. Rather, my body fell away and I fell back on the bed and closed my eyes. I lost my body for a few seconds and briefly saw a bunch of eyes, much like Alex Grey's artwork- or Tool album art. The eyes then parted, like a gate opening, and a beautiful, goddess like woman stepped out. She was smiling and her arms were open. She said welcome, I'm glad you are here. I started to go towards her, I wanted so badly to be in her arms and taken with her..almost like a little kid needing their mother.

Then..everything faded away..and I came to. I felt good, but disappointed. I kept thinking about what I saw and how much I wish I could have stayed and seen more.

I would have tried again after the hour waiting period, but my friend had a negative experience and out of respect I didn't try again but instead helped them through the ensuing panic attack/anxiety they were experiencing.

I left for home (was visiting out of state) and so am not able to go back to try the DMT and have no other connections to get any.

Fast forward. I have been DEEPLY, DEEPLY depressed since doing the DMT. I've always struggled with depression to some degree, but never like this. I didn't know it could be this bad. I'm against pharmaceuticals but in the past have tried 5-htp, St. John's Wort, Passionflower and few other remedies that have somewhat helped. They aren't helping at all this time.

Of course, there are factors to consider other than the DMT, but really after doing DMT is when this all began and I can't help but to trust my intuition that the two are connected.

Maybe my brief glimpse left me wanting more...or maybe it showed me there is something else. I've always felt that I don't really belong on this planet. I am super sensitive, empathetic, compassionate, and all the greed and destruction hurts me so much. I can't stand the rat race, or living ruled by money and work. At the same time, I'm very spiritual and meditative, and understand that I am just passing through and that there is a lot of good and happiness in this world.

After the DMT though, I can hardly function. Nothing ignites inspiration in me. In all honesty, if there were an off button for life I would eagerly push it (assuming I could just disappear as though I never existed, I wouldn't want to hurt anyone or leave my kitties homeless!)

Has anyone else experienced extreme depression after DMT...the kind where you can't even think, open you mouth to speak, move, eat or do ANYTHING. I can barely function and have spent days in bed unable to get up which I have never done before...luckily I have these two weeks off work or I have no idea what I would do. Any help or suggestions would be appreciated..I'm worried I've kind of thrown off my already imbalanced brain chemistry with the DMT.

 

[sekio]

I don't know if I would blame your depression on the DMT directly. Generally DMT does not cause a "comedown", or residual after effects, like e.g. MDMA, because it is destroyed so rapidly in the body. Certainly it produces more psychological change than physical or chemical change.

It sounds to me like the experience resonated on a deep level with you, and you're disappointed you might not get a chance to "go there" again. I have heard similar things happen with other psychedelics - people enjoy the novelty, and when they stop using psychedelics and return to "normality", everything is grey and boring. The feeling of cosmic unity and sensory brilliance can make daily life seem lame in comparison.

Perhaps you just need to do more introspection, either with the aid of psychedelics, or meditation techniques. Try not to be overwhelmed by feelings of hopelessness and depression - work towards replacing them with more pleasant ones. If you are depressed in every day life, maybe you need to make some changes - so be the change you want to see.

If you do a little research, you could probably find some mimosa root bark. The process for extracting DMT from plant matter is comparatively easy, takes little equipment other than some jars and a turkey baster, and can be done in an afternoon. You'll get more than enough DMT out of even a small extraction for a few journeys.

 

[intrepid traveler]

I had the same thing happen to me after an accidental overdose of an unknown nbome. For a few days afterward I could not bring myself to do anything besides wander around and wonder if life was worth living. If there was a button I might have pressed it. The depression slowly passed after about four days, though it took a few years to integrate the experience. It seems I stored it deep in a closet in my mind.

 

[TheAppleCore]

I don't know if I would blame your depression on the DMT directly. Generally DMT does not cause a "comedown", or residual after effects, like e.g. MDMA, because it is destroyed so rapidly in the body. Certainly it produces more psychological change than physical or chemical change.

It sounds to me like the experience resonated on a deep level with you, and you're disappointed you might not get a chance to "go there" again. I have heard similar things happen with other psychedelics - people enjoy the novelty, and when they stop using psychedelics and return to "normality", everything is grey and boring. The feeling of cosmic unity and sensory brilliance can make daily life seem lame in comparison.

Perhaps you just need to do more introspection, either with the aid of psychedelics, or meditation techniques. Try not to be overwhelmed by feelings of hopelessness and depression - work towards replacing them with more pleasant ones. If you are depressed in every day life, maybe you need to make some changes - so be the change you want to see.

If you do a little research, you could probably find some mimosa root bark. The process for extracting DMT from plant matter is comparatively easy, takes little equipment other than some jars and a turkey baster, and can be done in an afternoon. You'll get more than enough DMT out of even a small extraction for a few journeys.

Excellent reply, my opinions as well.

Psychedelics don't directly cause depression (nor do they cause happiness). Psychedelics will simply make you more aware of problems in your life, or psychological imbalances, etc. By acting as a messenger for bad news, psychedelics can indirectly lead to depression.

The good news is, being aware of problems helps you address them, and make progress.

 

[Toz]

@op Your depression sounds more like cravings for the drug itself.

 

[p-helix]

Your depression is likely attributable to your life history and family problems. One of the best cures is a healthy diet and exercise. Try consuming anti-inflammatory herbs like ginger and licorice and use Ginkgo biloba. Even eating a banana can improve mood, albeit only slightly in itself. Getting better is a process of evolution, it may appear to be one step forward, two steps backwards sometimes.

Although your experience had superficial connotations of smoking methamphetamine, you recognize DMT has potential as a medicine. The bad experience of your friend was naturally unsettling and the experience you had was insufficient. I appreciate your concern relating to the timing of your low mood, but DMT can be a powerful tool to healing and helpful in many ways.

 

[RhythmSpring]

Your depression is likely attributable to your life history and family problems. One of the best cures is a healthy diet and exercise.

How strange it would be if we could actually solve our interpersonal problems through diet and exercise.

"My mom verbally abused me!"
"Okay, take this medication."
"Welp, solved that problem!"

Hmmm...

Anyway, I agree with everyone saying that DMT does not cause depression, or happiness. It merely provides perspective. You have more power over how you feel than you give yourself credit for.

 

[lamanogaucha]

I need to go on a brief tangent, so please forgive me...

I had the same thing happen to me after an accidental overdose of an unknown NBOMe. The depression slowly passed after about four days, though it took a few years to integrate the experience.

NBOMe compounds have been on the market for only three years, at most. Are you sure that what you took was an NBOMe?

 

[ela.sand]

Your depression is likely attributable to your life history and family problems.

i believe this aswell.

psychedelics sometimes make me realise things i've merely "known" before.
for example i had access to the real grief i was going through for losing someone:
i was finally able to feel the pain i had subconsciously kept pushed away.
*now i am in the position to find a way to process this, but the first step was to accept the feeling -and feel it properly inside me

losing your sister in such a terrible way is major!
i definitely recommend seeing a therapist, if you are not already.

kind wishes from me,
ela

 

[Chikkenstorm]

i definitely recommend seeing a therapist, if you are not already.

That is of course the best and safest advice we can offer.
However, if it were me in your position, I'd continue to use DMT to explore your subconsciousness. Preferably with your friend, or someone else you trust and can talk to when you 'come back' and want to. I advise you to look up 'the Machine'; an easy to make device from stuff you probably already have in your home, perfect to vaporize DMT with. Using a meth pipe is obviously very confronting to you (which doesn't have to be a bad thing though) so the Machine might take that uneasiness away.

Edit: whoops, missed the "out of state visit" part the first time it seems. Like others said, DMT is very easy to make by yourself (if Mimosa Hostilis is legal where you're from), there are plenty of methods available on the internet, Google is your friend.

 

[pofacedhoe]

bad trips can leave you depressed but this sounds like your eyes were opened then you didn't like reality when you came back down

have you got a job/career/independence

when people haven't got these things and then come back to reality that can be a problem too

 

[Jesusgreen]

When my social anxiety was at its worst I did a good job at hiding the fact I was disappointed in myself and not happy with my life or where it was at the moment. I managed to convince myself that I was perfectly happy spending all day every day sitting at home playing video games, never leaving the house, and having no friends except those I knew online or made prior to moving here.

It was only after a very powerful psychedelic experience that touched me very deeply that it really hit home and I could no longer hide those feelings from myself, I realised I was craving friendship, a normal life, and to get out and do something productive for once. It took some work but I've since conquered my social anxiety, funnily enough that was also with the help of psychedelics, and my best friend guiding me through a really therapeutic 16 hour aMT trip that changed everything - but regardless, once I got past it my life turned around and I'm now happy.

Sometimes we're good at hiding our own negative feelings, doubts, anxieties and worries from ourselves, but psychedelics can penetrate so deep into our psyche that it can be impossible to hide them from ourselves anymore. Spend some time thinking over exactly what's making you said.

You say you feel like you don't fit, like you aren't meant to be here. Is this because you have trouble making friends? Or because you have trouble fitting into what's considered a "normal life" i.e. 9-5 job and the like? What makes you feel this way? Maybe you can focus on using the way you feel different to make something unique and positive out of your life that can help you and other people.

 

[Ziiirp]

I guess you are just going through very rough times and the DMT revealed your subconscious thoughts. Stanislav Grof wrote about the "Spiritual Emergency". Maybe that one gives answers.

Moreover I wanted to add, that I have had very bad experiences with underdosing tryptamines. I mean threshold doses. I tested it with 4-Aco-MiPT and 4-Aco-DMT. At both attempts I was depressed the whole remaining day and the next. This did not happen when I took a full dose. Of course the trips had more mental obstacles but after they were over I have been back to normal pretty quickly. I don't know, whether it helps you, it is just something that I observed on myself.

NO, my suggestion is not to take full dose now. What always helps me is having a nice run in nature and sweat out the problems. It won't solve any of them, but helps to develop a new perspective to the path which is ahead of you without involving external chemical support.

 

[DrunkardsDream]

Since you're depressed it's best if you do not use any drugs at all. This may not be what you want to hear but it's the truth.

 

[p-helix]

How strange it would be if we could actually solve our interpersonal problems through diet and exercise.

"My mom verbally abused me!"
"Okay, take this medication."
"Welp, solved that problem!"

Hmmm...

Anyway, I agree with everyone saying that DMT does not cause depression, or happiness. It merely provides perspective. You have more power over how you feel than you give yourself credit for.

Depression is not so much 'interpersonal problems' as 'fact'. It may have arisen as part of a long-standing series of misfortunes as is the case here but depression itself results from the accumulation or culmination of those problems. Depression drags a person down making it hard to get back up again. There are many aspects to the healing process, diet and exercise are important: do not underestimate the physical. Another important aspect is the emotional support which, while not always there, can hopefully be found.

 

[intrepid traveler]

By a few years I mean 2 years.

I need to go on a brief tangent, so please forgive me...



NBOMe compounds have been on the market for only three years, at most. Are you sure that what you took was an NBOMe?

 

[Kkat]

Thanks for everyone's responses. I am extremely well versed in depression. I'm a psychology major (ironic, I want to help people with the same issues I struggle with). I also have worked with a therapist/shaman/healer for years now. I meditate, eat extremely healthy and all organic/sugar free, and take important supplements for mood like fermented cod liver oil, and 5-HTP. I also exercise. I'm extremely self-introspective, and often quite aware of where my feelings are stemming from. I don't disregard the fact that yes, I am not satisfied with where I am in life, and I have a very long family history that has predisposed me to mood problems.

However, the MAJOR change in my depression came RIGHT after trying DMT, and has lasted. I see a very, very clear link. I wanted to see if anyone else had experienced the same thing which it seems no one has. All I can think is that I saw a glimpse of something that felt very, very real to me and connected. I felt welcomed and safe and like I was where I was meant to be. It only lasted a moment, and maybe somehow that experience just threw me off. I suppose it can't be biochemical as it sounds like DMT has no lasting negative impact.

Sigh, thanks for the suggestions about making it yourself. I'm going to look into this, though am quite nervous. Wish I had more connections down here with people I trusted who were interested in experimenting with this. I'm thinking of trying to find an Ayawaska ceremony as well, just haven't had any luck.

Anyhow, thanks for the all the input everyone

 

[JBrandon]

Well let me just pop in here with what will undoubtedly be an extremely unpopular suggestion:

SSRIs.

I have suffered from what I would call mild depression for probably my entire life. It got worse as a young adult and eventually resulted in a very long major depressive episode.

After two or three months on a very low dose of citalopram, I felt like my "true self" was finally freed from the unbearable weight of depression.

It is worth the side effects to me. YMMV, best of luck in whatever you choose to do.

PS I'm on a phone right now, I'll pop back in later with a story similar to yours, maybe it will bring you insight.

 

[Sreddy]

I have suffered from depression since 1999! It varies in levels but nothing can cure it. I have done all the things imagineable. The only thing I havent tried is drugs and I will be testing ketamine which have got some reputation of reaching those who otherwise is unreachable.
SRSI will definately work for some, but for me, it has never done anything but screening me from all emotions, both good or bad, which makes life pretty bad and meaningless, combined with making one impotent, I would love to skip it. SRSI makes me able to get up in the morning, but does not help me feel anything. I can understand people who want to stay away from them.

 

[princessxxleah]

My brother is going through the same thing but more extreme. I feel part of the reason he went so downhill is because he was very isolated. Do you have a good group of friends or daily social interactions? I think that is an important key in grounding a person and getting them kinda back to reality so to speak. I have never felt depressed as a direct result from psychedelics that i can remember but i have dealt with extreme depression and even though it may seem hard at first being around positive people can help you out of it. Eating well and excerise and meditation are great mood elevators too so you're on the right track. Maybe try putting your experience on paper. It might help you integrate it.