Mental Health Experince with autism

[RUC4]

@RUC4 , Eligiu did kinda bombard you with a lot of information there and I think cos he is so well-versed about autism and eloquent in the way he types, it may have come across as attacking you. But I think he was genuinely trying to educate you on the most up-to-date classifications of autism. I don't think he meant any harm. It can be hard to read between the lines over the internet because vocal tone, facial expressions and body language don't exist, and if you have a disorder where interpersonal communication skills are tricky for you in the first place, well, it's going to be even harder! So it's understandable that a lot gets lost in the mix. But I don't think anyone was trying to be combative here. Let's all continue this learning journey together ❤

The thing is, I said in the beginning with my first response, that I am on the spectrum as well. I'm not understanding why we're pitying this person (Eligiu) in this thread. I said in the my first comment, that I understood the new classification terms and have experience with them, both personally and my mom works with severely autistic children. I didn't insult anyone. I was only pointing out a few things that seemed off to me. He, on the other hand, DID insult me and accused me of feeling superior and some other garbage. This entire conversation is a waste of time because the person with the problem is the one being defended. I would think I'm allowed to have an opinion.

You called 'low functioning' people so stupid they can't even use a combination dude.

You needed the explanation because that is not okay. You clearly have zero understanding about different ways autism presents if you think that.

I said nothing about a "combination". I said the people I know with severe Autism who need help with daily life don't reach our for help over sites likes these. Again, I was speaking about my own personal experiences. It seems you're extremely sensitive about this issue and I think we should end the conversation. I'm not going to go through your 5000 word essay and illustrate how you insulted me and anyone else who doesn't agree with you. Again, I don't know you personally. Let it go. No one needs to jump in here and defend you or anyone else because I'm not attacking. I AM ON THE SPECTRUM AS WELL as I've said a number of times. It has been my experience in working with and teaching children on the spectrum who are "level 3" as you would call them- meaning they need help with daily activities such as cooking, cleaning, dressing themselves, hygiene- that whose people aren't usually very verbal, now would they abuse substances or try to connect with people. I've never met someone with severe autism who is an addict of any kind. My mom works closely with children, young adults, and adults. I have NEVER met one who would be interested in shooting meth. The sensory issues alone would not allow that. They usually aren't interested in being touched.
So while we may have different language for the location one is on the spectrum, I have a pretty good grasp of autism as I've lived with it my entire life and have worked closely with many people. I just don't personally know YOU. Perhaps you're completely unique in that you are severely autistic yet don't present like any others I'm aware of.
I was first diagnosed with a non-verbal learning disorder and then that was changed to Asperger's a few years after that. I was diagnosed with a non-verbal learning disorder more than 20 years ago. Things have changed since then. I did 3 years of language therapy and other therapies to help me. That's why I was saying in my original comment, therapy helps.
I hope we can end the discussion here. You seem to have a complex and feel like a victim of something I never said or even hinted at, and you referenced it many times: that less autistic people feel superior.
I never called anyone STUPID and that wasn't at all what I saying. You're literally changing history and reacting to things I never said. I guess to be the victim. You missed what I saw saying entirely.
Good luck with everything. Hopefully staying off meth, or anything else you're using. I can't think of anything worse for sensory issues than meth. >snip<

 

[Eligiu]

The thing is, I said in the beginning with my first response, that I am on the spectrum as well. I'm not understanding why we're pitying this person (Eligiu) in this thread. I said in the my first comment, that I understood the new classification terms and have experience with them, both personally and my mom works with severely autistic children. I didn't insult anyone. I was only pointing out a few things that seemed off to me. He, on the other hand, DID insult me and accused me of feeling superior and some other garbage. This entire conversation is a waste of time because the person with the problem is the one being defended. I would think I'm allowed to have an opinion.

I said nothing about a "combination". I said the people I know with severe Autism who need help with daily life don't reach our for help over sites likes these. Again, I was speaking about my own personal experiences. It seems you're extremely sensitive about this issue and I think we should end the conversation. I'm not going to go through your 5000 word essay and illustrate how you insulted me and anyone else who doesn't agree with you. Again, I don't know you personally. Let it go. No one needs to jump in here and defend you or anyone else because I'm not attacking. I AM ON THE SPECTRUM AS WELL as I've said a number of times. It has been my experience in working with and teaching children on the spectrum who are "level 3" as you would call them- meaning they need help with daily activities such as cooking, cleaning, dressing themselves, hygiene- that whose people aren't usually very verbal, now would they abuse substances or try to connect with people. I've never met someone with severe autism who is an addict of any kind. My mom works closely with children, young adults, and adults. I have NEVER met one who would be interested in shooting meth. The sensory issues alone would not allow that. They usually aren't interested in being touched.
So while we may have different language for the location one is on the spectrum, I have a pretty good grasp of autism as I've lived with it my entire life and have worked closely with many people. I just don't personally know YOU. Perhaps you're completely unique in that you are severely autistic yet don't present like any others I'm aware of.
I was first diagnosed with a non-verbal learning disorder and then that was changed to Asperger's a few years after that. I was diagnosed with a non-verbal learning disorder more than 20 years ago. Things have changed since then. I did 3 years of language therapy and other therapies to help me. That's why I was saying in my original comment, therapy helps.
I hope we can end the discussion here. You seem to have a complex and feel like a victim of something I never said or even hinted at, and you referenced it many times: that less autistic people feel superior.
I never called anyone STUPID and that wasn't at all what I saying. You're literally changing history and reacting to things I never said. I guess to be the victim. You missed what I saw saying entirely.
Good luck with everything. Hopefully staying off meth, or anything else you're using. I can't think of anything worse for sensory issues than meth. >snip<

Dude the first thing you said was that you didn't know what levels were.

Then you said level one is high functioning autism. It's not.

Then you said level 3 is low functioning. It's not.

You have a personal understanding of autism from your life. My job is as a support worker to autistic people of varying levels and needs. I'd never refer to my level 3 non-verbal client as low functioning.

The fact is there's actually plenty of level 3 people like myself who I know personally and interact with. The fact that you're excluding me from falling into that category even though I am unable to do all of those things you describe reeks of the fact that again, you're not understanding that my *autism* level got assessed, not my IQ.

Additionally, there is a lot of research which supports higher levels of substance abuse amongst autistic people with high IQ regardless of their level.

The Hidden Link Between Autism and Addiction

It’s believed that people on the spectrum don’t get hooked on alcohol or other drugs. New evidence suggests they do.

www.theatlantic.com

Look, an article saying autism DOUBLES the risk of addiction. And you're here telling me I can't be level 3 because I do meth lol.

The reason people had an issue with what you did is you just came in and accused me of basically lying about my level for some? Reason? And they know I'm not. Based on your mistaken understanding of levels.

And yes, level 3 people can work. My highest needs client does. With support. My 'job' is to be driven to his house then to wait for him to bring out whatever activity he wants me to do then I do it while he watches and helps. I'm basically paid to hang out with my friend and I can do that because I'm in a supported environment. But I can still only cope with 10 hours a week.

The thing you don't seem to be grasping here is that he and I aren't actually a whole lot different in terms of how we are affected by autism. He has something which used to be called Childhood Disintegrative Disorder which would be as level 3 as level 3 is, plus a mild intellectual disability, a speech delay (non verbal) and severe OCD. But he can do shit I can't do. His self care skills are miles ahead of mine. His ability to do certain chores is far superior. Autism is having an uneven skills profile, which he and I both share. The more uneven, often the more severe.

So it's all well and good for me that I'm smart, but that doesn't help me wear clean clothes, live in anything resembling a clean and tidy apartment, do my dishes or my laundry, socialise often, be verbal in new social situations or in groups and not have selective mutism. It doesn't effectively do much for me at all, except have support stripped away from me because somehow my intelligence is supposed to make me be able to discern whether my clothes are clean when I honestly just don't care.

Your entire post was based off so many assumptions it's honestly staggering. From assuming how levels work, to then assuming they're the same as functional labels, assuming that I can't be level 3 as I use a computer and drugs, assuming that level 3 people cannot communicate using hardware (bizarre, all my non verbal level 3 clients have used iPads and usually Proloque2Go as a form of communication when necessary) and an assumption that stimulant drugs stimulate me. I have ADHD, which often co-occurs with level 3 autism so honestly it doesn't do bad things to my sensory issues, not at all.

People aren't viewing me as a victim and nor do I, I'm simply explaining where you went wrong and you seem intent to dig yourself a deeper hole even though your first post in this thread legitimately said 'i don't think you can be level 3 if you're on a computer talking to people' or something to that effect.

The key difference between you and I is that I've not questioned that you're on the spectrum. I entirely believe it. You on the other hand came out with your first statement that my diagnosis isn't correct, as if you are the arbiter of all things autism.

 

[RUC4]

Dude the first thing you said was that you didn't know what levels were.

Then you said level one is high functioning autism. It's not.

Then you said level 3 is low functioning. It's not.

You have a personal understanding of autism from your life. My job is as a support worker to autistic people of varying levels and needs. I'd never refer to my level 3 non-verbal client as low functioning.

The fact is there's actually plenty of level 3 people like myself who I know personally and interact with. The fact that you're excluding me from falling into that category even though I am unable to do all of those things you describe reeks of the fact that again, you're not understanding that my *autism* level got assessed, not my IQ.

Additionally, there is a lot of research which supports higher levels of substance abuse amongst autistic people with high IQ regardless of their level.

The Hidden Link Between Autism and Addiction

It’s believed that people on the spectrum don’t get hooked on alcohol or other drugs. New evidence suggests they do.

www.theatlantic.com

Look, an article saying autism DOUBLES the risk of addiction. And you're here telling me I can't be level 3 because I do meth lol.

The reason people had an issue with what you did is you just came in and accused me of basically lying about my level for some? Reason? And they know I'm not. Based on your mistaken understanding of levels.

And yes, level 3 people can work. My highest needs client does. With support. My 'job' is to be driven to his house then to wait for him to bring out whatever activity he wants me to do then I do it while he watches and helps. I'm basically paid to hang out with my friend and I can do that because I'm in a supported environment. But I can still only cope with 10 hours a week.

The thing you don't seem to be grasping here is that he and I aren't actually a whole lot different in terms of how we are affected by autism. He has something which used to be called Childhood Disintegrative Disorder which would be as level 3 as level 3 is, plus a mild intellectual disability, a speech delay (non verbal) and severe OCD. But he can do shit I can't do. His self care skills are miles ahead of mine. His ability to do certain chores is far superior. Autism is having an uneven skills profile, which he and I both share. The more uneven, often the more severe.

So it's all well and good for me that I'm smart, but that doesn't help me wear clean clothes, live in anything resembling a clean and tidy apartment, do my dishes or my laundry, socialise often, be verbal in new social situations or in groups and not have selective mutism. It doesn't effectively do much for me at all, except have support stripped away from me because somehow my intelligence is supposed to make me be able to discern whether my clothes are clean when I honestly just don't care.

Your entire post was based off so many assumptions it's honestly staggering. From assuming how levels work, to then assuming they're the same as functional labels, assuming that I can't be level 3 as I use a computer and drugs, assuming that level 3 people cannot communicate using hardware (bizarre, all my non verbal level 3 clients have used iPads and usually Proloque2Go as a form of communication when necessary) and an assumption that stimulant drugs stimulate me. I have ADHD, which often co-occurs with level 3 autism so honestly it doesn't do bad things to my sensory issues, not at all.

People aren't viewing me as a victim and nor do I, I'm simply explaining where you went wrong and you seem intent to dig yourself a deeper hole even though your first post in this thread legitimately said 'i don't think you can be level 3 if you're on a computer talking to people' or something to that effect.

The key difference between you and I is that I've not questioned that you're on the spectrum. I entirely believe it. You on the other hand came out with your first statement that my diagnosis isn't correct, as if you are the arbiter of all things autism.

"What is Level 3 on the autism spectrum?
Level 3 refers to those who require the most substantial support and is often referred to as low functioning autism, these individuals also tend to have an intellectual disability. They display the most severe symptoms of autism and usually have the hardest time socializing and communicating with many being nonverbal."

Many Many severely autistic people use computers and ipads and most of the ones I know watch videos in repetition or something else to sooth themselves.

"
Problems expressing themselves both verbally and nonverbally can make it very hard to function, interact socially, and deal with a change in focus or location. Engaging in repetitive behaviors is another symptom of level 3 ASD.3
A person with ASD level 3 will have a very limited ability to speak clearly and will rarely start interactions with other people. When they do, they will do so awkwardly. Someone with level 3 will also respond only to very direct social approaches from other people."

You can believe what you want. And I will continue to believe what I want. Unless we are reading different things, this is not complicated.
I'm literally going by medical definitions of what level 3 autism looks like.
Good luck to you. This exchange has become almost ironic.

 

[Eligiu]

"What is Level 3 on the autism spectrum?
Level 3 refers to those who require the most substantial support and is often referred to as low functioning autism, these individuals also tend to have an intellectual disability. They display the most severe symptoms of autism and usually have the hardest time socializing and communicating with many being nonverbal."

Many Many severely autistic people use computers and ipads and most of the ones I know watch videos in repetition or something else to sooth themselves.

"
Problems expressing themselves both verbally and nonverbally can make it very hard to function, interact socially, and deal with a change in focus or location. Engaging in repetitive behaviors is another symptom of level 3 ASD.3
A person with ASD level 3 will have a very limited ability to speak clearly and will rarely start interactions with other people. When they do, they will do so awkwardly. Someone with level 3 will also respond only to very direct social approaches from other people."

You can believe what you want. And I will continue to believe what I want. Unless we are reading different things, this is not complicated.
I'm literally going by medical definitions of what level 3 autism looks like.
Good luck to you. This exchange has become almost ironic.

Well it's a damn good thing you're not a professional developmental psychologist because to be frank, you're missing a lot of context yet again.

It's actually super uncool of you to accuse me of lying about my level. Some of the moderators have seen my diagnostic letter and know I have a 25 page assessment.

And I do, in person, only respond to direct and prompted discussion. For example at my friends 30th birthday I hid in the corner with his dog when everyone else arrived. Every once in a while a guest would come over and interact with me, or try to.

'Hi, what's your name?'

'Hi, what's your name (echolalia, a level 3 trait)? My name is Eli'

'Hi Eli..... Well my name is Brett'

'....'

'How do you know Haydn?'

'How do you know Haydn? I know Haydn from university.'

'Thats interesting....'

'....'

'That's where I met him too'

'...'

'So, how long have you been friends with Haydn?'

'Five-five-five-five years five years'

'...'

'...'

'well I've known him for around eight'

'...'

'you're not much into talking are you'

'not really, I'm patting the dog. I like the dog'

'do you want me to go away'

'yes I think I would, I just want to be with the dog'

And that is the same basic conversation I had with around a dozen of his friends before my mate came around and told me if I wanted to head home he wouldn't feel bad because he knew I'd put in effort to be there for him and say happy birthday.

You seem to be entirely overlooking the fact that our whole exchange has literally taken place over a text based medium, which is my preferred method of communication, rather than speech (which I am often non-verbal with)


"Level 3 refers to those who require the most substantial support and is often referred to as low functioning autism, these individuals also tend to have an intellectual disability. They display the most severe symptoms of autism and usually have the hardest time socializing and communicating with many being nonverbal."

'tend to have' does not mean all of them do have an intellectual disability. I do not. And I have a very hard time socialising and communicating verbally, to the extent that it often just doesn't happen unless I'm with my closest friends.

Many Many severely autistic people use computers and ipads and most of the ones I know watch videos in repetition or something else to sooth themselves.

I do this, I listen to the exact same songs on repeat for days at a time. I will play a song thousands of hours until I get sick of it then switch to another one.

But hang on, you said I can't be level 3 because I'm using a computer. But now level 3 people can? If level 3 people can use text to speech apps to communicate there is nothing preventing a non verbal person from joining a forum. Nothing at all. And thinking they can't is quite frankly ableist as hell.
"
Problems expressing themselves both verbally and nonverbally can make it very hard to function, interact socially, and deal with a change in focus or location. Engaging in repetitive behaviors is another symptom of level 3 ASD.3
A person with ASD level 3 will have a very limited ability to speak clearly and will rarely start interactions with other people. When they do, they will do so awkwardly. Someone with level 3 will also respond only to very direct social approaches from other people."

Boy you haven't seen me engaging in repetitive behaviours. You seen a 27 year old guy make Lego or do a puzzle for 12 hours while forgetting to even take a piss? I don't even eat dude. All I care about is doing the lego or the puzzle. Or animal crossing or Runescape. It's *obsessive* and I cannot switch it off. But of course you just made another of your assumptions which is that I don't do this behaviour. It's actually something I have occupational therapy for because it prevents me from engaging in things I actually need to do like chores, eating, cooking, showering. Well, anything of any use.

So you see, once again I have provided evidence that I meet the criteria of someone with a level 3 diagnosis even with the information you have provided.

It's actually perfectly fine to admit you've been wrong. Admirable actually. Instead you're in a mental health sub forum accusing a dude with level 3 autism who is for once reaching out and being social so that he doesn't live in his socially deprived sphere of misery that his struggles with autism aren't serious because he wants to talk to people. Come on man.

You live a day in my shoes and you see what it's like being completely disabled by autism. You'll be begging to go back after a week.

And for the last time, STOP using low functioning to refer to people with high support needs. It's so insulting to them like I am astonished you are a teacher of autistic kids yet you use functioning labels. They're not an official diagnosis, I've explained the history. Calling someone low functioning is literally a fancy way of calling them a retard who is a burden to society, because that is why people who had low IQ and were non verbal were considering 'low functioning' (because they can't work ever and therefore have zero productive value) whereas people who *could* work were viewed as 'high functioning'

Like I cannot put this any clearer, it's so so so damaging to level 3 people any anyone in that group. Non verbal people often have great receptive language skills but poor expressive language skills meaning that they understand a lot of what is being said to them but can't communicate back. Ergo, they know they're being called low functioning. Can you imagine for one second how that would feel?

 

[imo_incolae]

Have recently been diagnosed as on the autism spectrum. So many things finally made sense. I used to think i had like 10 different issues- anxiety, agoraphobia, body dysmorphia, ADHD, etc, but it seems like it may all just be weird manifestations of autism, intermingled with PTSD and addiction. I made it to 29 without being diagnosed by being a flawless actor. Now I'm realizing that's a massive hindrance, as now I can't drop the mask even if I try, so it's hard to communicate my true problems with a therapist


I guess my question is: anyone have any experiences with things they found helpful? How to meet an autistic community? Career choices? Addiction treatment for autistic people? Therapy methods that make communication issues easier?

Another conflict I have is "coming out" to my parents. Long story short, my parents have lots of experience with autism, and because I was such a great actor for most of my childhood, will likely not believe what I tell them, because I hid "traditional" signs, which makes for an awkward conversation. My mom will likely never accept it, so I've accepted that i probably will never tell her, but i would like to tell my dad, who i am closer to, and who is more open minded

It sounds like your journey so far has been one full of doors you've walked through but perhaps never found exactly where you were going. Now you've been diagnosed though, you can rely on that understanding to help guide you to make better informed decisions about your life and navigate things knowing what you know now.

It's complicated for me because I was adopted before I was aware of it, thrown into a dysfunctional family who promoted secrecy and division and essentially denied me access to the truth around my adoption and the rest of my family before adoption. It turns out that most of my biological family is on the spectrum, something that was kept from me (because my adopted family have always been ashamed of my roots and used it against me - I was severely abused by said adoptive family). My younger brother is high on the spectrum and needs daily support. He was misdiagnosed and kept in a mental health ward for years until they realized a lot of his behaviour can be explained as being on the spectrum. This was after the system institutionalized him for the best part of 5-6 years and prevented him from being let out into society. He suffered severe trauma at the hands of my parents who abused him for years and bullied him for being different. That destroyed him and pushed him into drugs and being with bad people which led onto several psychotic breakdowns (mostly drug induced). The first thing he needed was someone to listen to him and give him the right support but that didn't happen until the damage had been done. My youngest sister had autism. She's dead now, essentially committed suicide after feeling like the world gave up on her. She was failed by the systems here in the UK and it drove her to addiction and then to her death. I never knew her (because my adoptive family conditioned me into believing my biological family were scum and I should be eternally grateful for being adopted and forget I even had family behind the adoption and so I believed I should look down on them and never reach out). My second oldest sister has Aspergers. She had a very troubled childhood, was in and out of care and went off the edge a few times. She's doing alright now though. She's doing a degree for occupational therapy and working in the community which I think massively helps her with the whole integration thing and it also informs her about the importance of her own needs. I don't know her very well. There's always been a veil of secrecy around us getting to know one another, at least in my family anyway.

My brother will always need care. I think it's made worse with his psychotic tendencies. He's either held back by his Aspergers or he's trapped in psychosis, or both. It must be awful but then again it doesn't seem like he notices? Or maybe that's just me. My family who have developmental issues have all suffered I know that much. I'm pretty sure I'm on the spectrum but I'm not quite sure where. Like you I've thrown around different possibilities and put it down to this or that but maybe it just is autism generally. I went for an assessment one time (this is ages ago now) and the guy basically told me to stop wasting his time. He said he knew straight away I didn't have Aspergers.

I hear being able to act normal is what many people with autism/Aspergers do really well. If that's true then maybe I'm such a good actor I've convinced everyone around me I'm like everybody else. Inside though I know I'm not. Whether that's because I've just had a really fucked up upbringing and it's put me on this path, or it's autism/Aspergers... who knows.

What helps me is integration. Whenever I feel like I'm having trouble I always think about connection, community, integration.
Therapy has worked really well for me. I'm self taught though so I've never actually had therapy by another person. Learning about myself, others, learning about relationships, communication skills, learning about dysfunctional patterns of behaviour and learning how to deal with them etc. These are all important and I think if you struggle socially for whatever reason, they are even more crucial to learn and adopt. That and always being open to learning, growing and improving. Being open to how others perceive me so I can change if something isn't how it should be. Being able to take constructive criticism and being able to resonate with others so I can feel my way around in my life. Connection is really important.

This lifetime is all about coming home to yourself, wherever or who or whatever that is. You get a certain amount of time to figure it out.

 

[Eligiu]

It sounds like your journey so far has been one full of doors you've walked through but perhaps never found exactly where you were going. Now you've been diagnosed though, you can rely on that understanding to help guide you to make better informed decisions about your life and navigate things knowing what you know now.

It's complicated for me because I was adopted before I was aware of it, thrown into a dysfunctional family who promoted secrecy and division and essentially denied me access to the truth around my adoption and the rest of my family before adoption. It turns out that most of my biological family is on the spectrum, something that was kept from me (because my adopted family have always been ashamed of my roots and used it against me - I was severely abused by said adoptive family). My younger brother is high on the spectrum and needs daily support. He was misdiagnosed and kept in a mental health ward for years until they realized a lot of his behaviour can be explained as being on the spectrum. This was after the system institutionalized him for the best part of 5-6 years and prevented him from being let out into society. He suffered severe trauma at the hands of my parents who abused him for years and bullied him for being different. That destroyed him and pushed him into drugs and being with bad people which led onto several psychotic breakdowns (mostly drug induced). The first thing he needed was someone to listen to him and give him the right support but that didn't happen until the damage had been done. My youngest sister had autism. She's dead now, essentially committed suicide after feeling like the world gave up on her. She was failed by the systems here in the UK and it drove her to addiction and then to her death. I never knew her (because my adoptive family conditioned me into believing my biological family were scum and I should be eternally grateful for being adopted and forget I even had family behind the adoption and so I believed I should look down on them and never reach out). My second oldest sister has Aspergers. She had a very troubled childhood, was in and out of care and went off the edge a few times. She's doing alright now though. She's doing a degree for occupational therapy and working in the community which I think massively helps her with the whole integration thing and it also informs her about the importance of her own needs. I don't know her very well. There's always been a veil of secrecy around us getting to know one another, at least in my family anyway.

My brother will always need care. I think it's made worse with his psychotic tendencies. He's either held back by his Aspergers or he's trapped in psychosis, or both. It must be awful but then again it doesn't seem like he notices? Or maybe that's just me. My family who have developmental issues have all suffered I know that much. I'm pretty sure I'm on the spectrum but I'm not quite sure where. Like you I've thrown around different possibilities and put it down to this or that but maybe it just is autism generally. I went for an assessment one time (this is ages ago now) and the guy basically told me to stop wasting his time. He said he knew straight away I didn't have Aspergers.

I hear being able to act normal is what many people with autism/Aspergers do really well. If that's true then maybe I'm such a good actor I've convinced everyone around me I'm like everybody else. Inside though I know I'm not. Whether that's because I've just had a really fucked up upbringing and it's put me on this path, or it's autism/Aspergers... who knows.

What helps me is integration. Whenever I feel like I'm having trouble I always think about connection, community, integration.
Therapy has worked really well for me. I'm self taught though so I've never actually had therapy by another person. Learning about myself, others, learning about relationships, communication skills, learning about dysfunctional patterns of behaviour and learning how to deal with them etc. These are all important and I think if you struggle socially for whatever reason, they are even more crucial to learn and adopt. That and always being open to learning, growing and improving. Being open to how others perceive me so I can change if something isn't how it should be. Being able to take constructive criticism and being able to resonate with others so I can feel my way around in my life. Connection is really important.

This lifetime is all about coming home to yourself, wherever or who or whatever that is. You get a certain amount of time to figure it out.

I am so sorry that your family has experienced such difficulties with autism and the impacts of it. I get really frustrated when people describe it as just 'communication differences' and stuff like that. It is so, so, so much more than that and when trauma is thrown in (as it also was for me) then your ability to self regulate is completely fractured. Being autistic makes you heaps more vulnerable to experiencing ongoing trauma affects from traumatic experiences as it prevents us from coping in an adaptive way.

I hope your siblings and especially your brother is able to find some level of peace with his situation in the right care scenario. In my country we have a system where you can select your own carers. Does he have something like that as a possibility for him too?

Please don't heed the words of the other poster implying that you can't do drugs and be severely affected by autism. I've seen it happen in my life and friends lives and now sadly I've read about it happening to your siblings. Substance misuse amongst autistics is sky high sometimes and it's just not talked about.

I would really really value your input in a thread I made called 'people don't know what it's like' which I may rename where I've asked autistic people to describe like a 'day in the life' for them or some of the biggest ways autism impacts them. I'd be really pleased if you could contribute some information along the lines of what you mentioned here to help educate other forum members about autism affecting us all completely differently. Please give it a consideration it could really help people understand.

 

[imo_incolae]

I am so sorry that your family has experienced such difficulties with autism and the impacts of it. I get really frustrated when people describe it as just 'communication differences' and stuff like that. It is so, so, so much more than that and when trauma is thrown in (as it also was for me) then your ability to self regulate is completely fractured. Being autistic makes you heaps more vulnerable to experiencing ongoing trauma affects from traumatic experiences as it prevents us from coping in an adaptive way.

I hope your siblings and especially your brother is able to find some level of peace with his situation in the right care scenario. In my country we have a system where you can select your own carers. Does he have something like that as a possibility for him too?

Please don't heed the words of the other poster implying that you can't do drugs and be severely affected by autism. I've seen it happen in my life and friends lives and now sadly I've read about it happening to your siblings. Substance misuse amongst autistics is sky high sometimes and it's just not talked about.

I would really really value your input in a thread I made called 'people don't know what it's like' which I may rename where I've asked autistic people to describe like a 'day in the life' for them or some of the biggest ways autism impacts them. I'd be really pleased if you could contribute some information along the lines of what you mentioned here to help educate other forum members about autism affecting us all completely differently. Please give it a consideration it could really help people understand.

Thanks man. It's harder to discuss when it's already a taboo subject as it is. Even though we live in a more tolerant and open-minded society, and that's never a bad thing, there's still a lot of stigma round autism. I can remember growing up if you even mentioned autism you would be picked on. My brother doesn't choose his carers. He's being controlled by our adoptive mother who now has a forever project to stroke her ego on and take credit for everything. He won't ever be free in the way most people are.

I guess it's just that drugs open doors. And depending on who you are and where you are at in life you'll go down whatever road is planned for you. For most it's a rite of passage, especially in our Western society where escapism in myriad forms is lauded.

I'd love to post in your thread! I might just copy and paste to begin with to save me typing it out again haha

 

[Eligiu]

Thanks man. It's harder to discuss when it's already a taboo subject as it is. Even though we live in a more tolerant and open-minded society, and that's never a bad thing, there's still a lot of stigma round autism. I can remember growing up if you even mentioned autism you would be picked on. My brother doesn't choose his carers. He's being controlled by our adoptive mother who now has a forever project to stroke her ego on and take credit for everything. He won't ever be free in the way most people are.

I guess it's just that drugs open doors. And depending on who you are and where you are at in life you'll go down whatever road is planned for you. For most it's a rite of passage, especially in our Western society where escapism in myriad forms is lauded.

I'd love to post in your thread! I might just copy and paste to begin with to save me typing it out again haha

That sucks for your brother. I can't imagine my life without being able to choose all of my support team or at the very least have people suggested to me who I can meet with and vibe out.

I think the idea that autistic people can't get addicted to drugs is absurd. For me, I would argue that being autistic made it worse because of the rituals involved with intravenous drug use. I quickly developed into an obsession.

Please post something in the thread, even if it's exactly what you posted here minus the stuff directed at the OP at the end of your post. I think what you've got to say is really valuable information.

 

[Eligiu]

>snip<

Mate you honestly need to chill, you've been needlessly antagonistic and aggressive the entire time we've been talking. I've been trying to teach you things and while I was brutal in my first response to you, that's because I was very irritated. My last replies have been restrained and generally polite.

The fact of the matter is you can yell and scream and whine about me 'not being level 3' until the cows come home but I have a diagnostic report and a 25 page full assessment which says otherwise, as well as $150,000 in government funding. @arrall has seen my report, not that he needs to vouch for it. You can die on this hill if you want, but it's a silly hill to die on.

Consider that at this stage I'm not actually writing those things for your benefit as we can consider your change in behaviour a lost cause with a good degree of certainty.

I am however ensuring that anyone else who reads this gets the correct information about how autism can present and they can do that from a more detailed description with examples and further information.

None of this has ever been about you, that is a rather self centred opinion. It has been about ensuring that harmful functional labels are not picked up by passers by and so people who peruse this thread understand why they are bad and shouldn't be used.

I think you need to take a step back and maybe think about why it is I've managed to get under your skin to this extent and maybe really analyse that. I have my own reasons but I don't need to share them.

I have to say I am quite frankly so concerned that you work with autistic people with your mindset. Unbelievably concerned.

 

[imo_incolae]

That sucks for your brother. I can't imagine my life without being able to choose all of my support team or at the very least have people suggested to me who I can meet with and vibe out.

I think the idea that autistic people can't get addicted to drugs is absurd. For me, I would argue that being autistic made it worse because of the rituals involved with intravenous drug use. I quickly developed into an obsession.

Please post something in the thread, even if it's exactly what you posted here minus the stuff directed at the OP at the end of your post. I think what you've got to say is really valuable information.

It's very difficult for my brother because he's never been able to speak for himself. If anything, his autism is being used against him because my parents know how to exploit him so he doesn't say anything. If he did, he could write a saga let alone a few pages. It's nice you're able to choose man that level of support is not all that common. I wish you all the best with it!

Yeah, it's absurd really. The rigidity is already enough to create obsessions and then obsessions can turn into releases which turn into addictions. By nature I think a lot of traits of autism can be explained as inflexible behaviours and rigid thinking. If that isn't the precursor to addiction then I don't know what is.
And when you can't understand the concepts behind your behaviour (because of the inherent traits of autism) you're going blind with a part of yourself hidden in plain sight, you are bound to make poor decisions without the right support network. Plus, the vulnerability aspect is far greater too and so that would get people on the spectrum into potentially becoming addicted to something.

 

[arrall]

>snip<

I would advise you to stop responding to this thread if you aren’t able to be respectful and kind to other members. MH is not the place for petty arguments.

“If you don’t have anything kind to say, don’t say it.”

 

[fromuponpoppyhill]

While there is some really useful stuff in this thread, I'm appreciating seeing other trans autistics around and it was good to learn more about levels, it's getting hard to dig out the good stuff because of all the arguing and also the use of so many ableist slurs (r*tarded and st*pid and other insults to someone's intelligence or abilities is so old-fashioned and have no place in a modern and well-informed discussion. Y'all are clearly clued up enough to know better)

This poor individual is asking for help and their thread has been absolutely derailed.

What I found helpful was reading a lot about autism, doing a sensory awareness course (includes the bonus of meeting other autistics and you get great tips!)

Can definitely recommend working from home, whether that's a tech job or writing job or crafting or customer service or whatever it is you're good at or could get good at. Try to learn your limits on social interaction, home care, self care, etc and try to learn not to be hard on yourself if you can't meet others expectations but to instead ask for help or accept support if offered.

Never ABA. Just regular therapy was helpful for me and a hell of a lot of it. Practicing talking and being open and vulnerable in a safe environment helped me a lot with my communication and processing of past trauma. Still in progress

 

[arrall]

This poor individual is asking for help and their thread has been absolutely derailed.

This. I honestly forgot that this thread was even someone asking for advice with all of the arguing.

What I found helpful was reading a lot about autism, doing a sensory awareness course (includes the bonus of meeting other autistics and you get great tips!)

Can definitely recommend working from home, whether that's a tech job or writing job or crafting or customer service or whatever it is you're good at or could get good at. Try to learn your limits on social interaction, home care, self care, etc and try to learn not to be hard on yourself if you can't meet others expectations but to instead ask for help or accept support if offered.

Never ABA. Just regular therapy was helpful for me and a hell of a lot of it. Practicing talking and being open and vulnerable in a safe environment helped me a lot with my communication and processing of past trauma. Still in progress

Thank you for sharing what works for you.

 

[Eligiu]

While there is some really useful stuff in this thread, I'm appreciating seeing other trans autistics around and it was good to learn more about levels, it's getting hard to dig out the good stuff because of all the arguing and also the use of so many ableist slurs (r*tarded and st*pid and other insults to someone's intelligence or abilities is so old-fashioned and have no place in a modern and well-informed discussion. Y'all are clearly clued up enough to know better)

This poor individual is asking for help and their thread has been absolutely derailed.

What I found helpful was reading a lot about autism, doing a sensory awareness course (includes the bonus of meeting other autistics and you get great tips!)

Can definitely recommend working from home, whether that's a tech job or writing job or crafting or customer service or whatever it is you're good at or could get good at. Try to learn your limits on social interaction, home care, self care, etc and try to learn not to be hard on yourself if you can't meet others expectations but to instead ask for help or accept support if offered.

Never ABA. Just regular therapy was helpful for me and a hell of a lot of it. Practicing talking and being open and vulnerable in a safe environment helped me a lot with my communication and processing of past trauma. Still in progress

For clarifying, when I use slurs such as that I use them to highlight what society thinks of those people, not my opinion of them.

Using the slurs is a way of highlighting how ableist it is, by flipping it back onto the person being ableist. I cannot do that in any other way other than to unfortunately use the slurs, but I admit I could have been clearer in my intention by putting them I quotation marks to indicate that it's not an opinion I share, but one that is held by a significant proportion of society.

However I did also grow up being called retarded for being non-verbal in many environments, so it is a slur which applies to me after I would walk past the parents at my sport club go 'why doesn't he talk to the other kids' 'well he's special' 'what?' 'you know, he's retarded. He's just good at sport'

So I have zero belief that people who are non verbal or have intellectual disability are either of those things, I was illustrating in perhaps *the* most direct and somewhat obtrusive way I could, how saying 'you're too smart to be level 3 because level 3 is low functioning and you're using a computer' is indeed, the polite equivalent of saying what I wrote. And there is no nice way of saying that and getting the point across in a way which really makes people consider what they're saying (or just dig their heels in, in this case) but which would also serve to challenge other reasons who now know that when they call someone low functioning, they're calling them a slur in a nice way.

I am upset it got derailed to this extent. My original comment was just telling the OP that finding other late diagnosed people helped me. Then it turned into an invalidation saga plus a rebirth of our hated nemesis, functional labels. I felt obliged to make sure anyone reading this was aware of how harmful functional labels are to autistic people who are non verbal and have intellectual disability, and who are every bit as capable as any other autistic people of achieving their goals provided they have the right kind of support. Because I've seen that happen.

 

[Jerry Atrick]

Okay people, we have already had no fewer than two staff members step in. I don't even care who started the argument anymore. Let's all step back from our keyboards, take a deep breath, and cool it.

I've taken the liberty to delete a couple of the more inflammatory remarks and do not want to resort to giving formal warnings or points, but will if the bickering continues. I still left the rebuttals because ironically, some of the material written in backing up the arguments can still be educational and thus, helpful.

This thread can be very valuable to anyone either on the spectrum or close to someone on the spectrum so the very last thing I want to do is lock the thread, which would prevent further conversation from taking place no matter how healthy or unhealthy.

So please..... STOP. I don't want to see anymore arguing or defensiveness from any party involved.

Moving forward, more productive conversation will be welcome but anymore arguing will not be tolerated. No last words. This will be the last word on the issue.

Thanks everyone for your cooperation.