Experience with anti-depressants?

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Wellbutrin helped me tremendously for awhile, None of the SSRI's worked well for me, Effexor made me feel horrible.

I've always had a depressed side and have usually turned to more traditional quick fix drugs and they worked well enough for a long time. Opiates still work but that's like having a love affair with the devil.

I ended up being prescribed Clonazepam for anxiety, Ambien for sleep and Ritalin for concentration/motivation/depression..... this is just what I'm currently on and it's working better than any previous combos.

Antidepressants are a trial and error process, it's an investment of time and money if you want to really get help by a medical professional. I think it's always worth a shot, it's always best to be proactive and seeking a better quality life than just depressed and complacent seeking oblivion.

Best of luck, remember it takes time if you're going to go to a psychiatrist and attempt antidepressant therapy, don't expect any overnight miracles, but do expect to learn something about yourself one way or another.
 
My psychiatrist put me on Lexapro. I had been on Prozac for several years and I must have totally gotten tolerant of it, because I tried to commit suicide in December. The way the doctor explained it to me, Lexapro has chemical strategies to balance both sides of the brain, whereas Celexa does not cross the callosum well. He said Lexapro is the best because it balances out on the left brain and the right brain and most older anti-depressants don't do that.

I fought it because my insurance does not cover it. I pay $160 a month for it. But after six months I have to say, it has worked better than any other anti-depressant I've tried, and I've tried several.
 
i think you need therapy. you probably are so low that you need antidepressants to put you in a sufficiently positive mindset to be receptive to the therapy. but antideps are not going to make your life any better on their own and unless you want to be on them forever you'll probably end up back where you are now when you come off them if you've had not threapy in the intervening period.
 
I have found that the typical anti-depressants that doctors will prescribe are pretty useless...I feel like my mania/depression was worsened by SSRI's...they worked at first (a month) and then I'd be back to my sad self...I've been in therapy for years....nothing worked until I tried Ketamine. There are NUMEROUS study's examining the anti-depressant effects of Ketamine...from there I was able to try Ayahuasca and many other psychedelics that have helped me.

Unfortunately, I started oral contraceptives about a month ago and now have a significantly higher level of depression (so I stopped taking them...waiting for my hormonal levels to return to normal) BUT my insights on psychedelics have prevented me from cutting or overdosing.

anyway, if you *CAN* get Ketamine...give it a whirl.
 
To the OP.

Sorry to hear about your depression. Alot of what you said rang true to me. I would also blurt out phrases like 'I want to die' without even been conscious of it.

My advice:

The best way to beat depression is to get therapy and take ADs. Therapy alone can be quite effective. ADs alone may be effective but not as good as when combined with therapy or with therapy alone.

Book yourself in to see a psychologist, and tell them what is up. They can put in their 2c on whether you should take anti depressants. they can also start on the therapy that is necessary to change your thought patterns. Therapy is used to treat the cause of your depression, anti depressants are used to treat some of the symptoms.

Go see a doctor and talk to them about anti depressants and see if they will presctibe any to you. After they have made a recommendation, read up about it on the internet. Both the good and the bad. It is likely that he will prescribe you an SSRI or a SNRI. He will be the best judge of what will work best in your situation.

Remember with antidepressants that you have to be abstenient from certain drugs. MDMA, mephedrone, DXM, and possibly mushrooms, acid, DMT (all of which opperate strongly on serotonin) can lead to suffering serotonin syndrome. I had a mild case of serotonin sydrome after partying on mephedrone and mushrooms then 24 hours later starting a round of treatment with effexor (an SNRI). It wasn't fun, I can assure you:(

some anti depressants can have some side effects. Some of the more common ones are nausea, sweating, sexual dysfunction, weight gain. You'll have to just try and see. Also, be aware that during the first two weeks there may be an increase risk of suicidal thoughts for some people who take anti depressants. The explanation doctors and my psychologist have told me is, that some people haven't had the energy to kill to themselves whilst severally depressed, but anti depressants give them enough energy to do this. if you do decide to take them, try and be around loved ones for the first two weeks.

I've given you the doom and gloom. but for many people ADs are a godsend. they let them be happy again, and lift them out of miserable lives. Alot of people's lives have probably been saved due to antidepressants.

I have just started taking zoloft (SSRI) three days ago. I had previously tried taking effexor (SNRI) but got some really bad side effects, which was attributed to serotonin syndrome. I think the zoloft has started to work today. for the first time in ages, I actually enjoyed the sun and wind on my face. I felt joy and happiness. I had forgotten what they felt like. It felt like coming back to life again.

Best of luck OP. Feel free to send me a PM.
 
i find it unusual and important that you mentioned your backpacking trip. was that the last time you were happy?

i've done a fair amount of adventure travel on my own and it's been great for my mental health. sadly, i haven't gone anywhere in such a long time. i've barely left my computer. i have a lot in common with you... well, throw addiction on top of everything else you wrote.

it was amazing, but i found the source of my self hatred. i didn't even think there was a concrete answer, because i had a great suburban upbringing.

but

over a year ago i decided that i was fed up with being morbidly depressed. i was heavily addicted, but i knew i had to do more than simply quit drugs. i thought the answer was spiritual. i longed for a deeper connection to the universe. i wanted to regain my passion for art, and my natural curiosity in everything.

so i started meditating in a group class, and joined a "sangha." twice a week i meditate for 30 minutes with a group called "Dharma Punx." i also meditate on my own for 10 minute sessions. this is amazing because you come to realize how your mind works. instead of drowning in depression, i just witnessed myself being depressed. i kept asking, why? buddhism is great.

i also tried to exercise and kept attempting to quit all drugs. i know it's controversial, but i joined AA and got a sponsor, just so i could work "the steps." haha-- it sucked. i'm no longer a part of that, but, i learned so much from writing out all of my resentments. i was journaling online and talking to a lot of addicts about their experiences. i realized that my self hatred was unnatural, even for an addict.

and one night it just clicked. i'm in my 30s, yet i still resent school. i abhor intellectual, pretentious, elitist types. since i almost flunked out of school, i figured i had some sort of learning disability. one night i researched ADHD/ADD and it turned out that i fit the description of a rare type of this disorder. many females are diagnosed with "inattentive" ADD later in life. the symptoms aren't picked up as easily as the hyperactive type.

so i know why i call myself stupid and feel inferior. i know why i've been teased and called a "space cadet." i know why i'm sloppy and disorganized no matter how hard i try to change. all this has caused my deep depression + addiction. and all of that kept snowballing until it got so enormous that it crippled me around the age of 32.

i was properly diagnosed and went on adderral. my family is so happy that there's an explanation. i don't want to be on meds for the rest of my life, so i'm doing a ton of other things that will help me achieve my goals in life.

so my suggestion to you is to be a seeker. learn more about yourself, i promise you that there is some kind of explanation for how you feel. look at your external circumstances and figure out what you want. by all means, take the medication, but no pill has the power to address your needs completely.
 
SSRIs do more harm than good. I hear good things about Lexapro, but I do not use it myself nor have I ever used any SSRIs.

You want a psychedelic, some people turn crazy, but most people come out knowing themselves better. DMT helped me. It gives a permanent afterglow, something that tells you I connected with myself, and it has a permanent 'weirdening' effect, where you can understand energy more.

Speed helps in the short term. If you abused MDMA though, you're gonna have a hard time controlling yourself, so this is a bad idea for you probably. If you can control yourself though, this is what keeps me pretty happy.

Thats your OWN EXPERIENCE.

Don't tell somebody ssris "do more harm than good" just because thats what they did for you.
In fact a lot of people in this world couldn't get buy without their ssris. The problem is depression isnt always caused by seretonin (dopamine, endorphins, etc) so no they will not always work for everyones depression.

Lexapro was the best anti-d I ever took. No side effects except towards the last 12 months I was on it. And the only side effect was "it worked too well", it killed so much anxiety/depression I became 100% apathetic about life.

Thats when I realized you definitely need a certain amount of anxiety/depression in life to be a productive person.
But I had went from suicidal (which is why I got on it for attempted suicide) and within 2 months I had my life back again. It was like that all the way up untill the end untill I noticed I'd skip work/miss class and had no anxiety about it.
I tried reducing the dose but it doesn't fix the apathy.

This side effect doesn't happen with everyone, so I'd suggest if you try ANY ssris try Lexapro.
DO NOT try paxil or effexor because they have wds almost as bad as opiates. Most of the wds are over in 4 weeks but they are intense as all shit for the first 2. Vomiting, shaking, tremors, twitching, panic attacks.

I never had a reaction like that coming off lexapro.
 
Thats your OWN EXPERIENCE.

Don't tell somebody ssris "do more harm than good" just because thats what they did for you.
In fact a lot of people in this world couldn't get buy without their ssris. The problem is depression isnt always caused by seretonin (dopamine, endorphins, etc) so no they will not always work for everyones depression.

Lexapro was the best anti-d I ever took. No side effects except towards the last 12 months I was on it. And the only side effect was "it worked too well", it killed so much anxiety/depression I became 100% apathetic about life.

Thats when I realized you definitely need a certain amount of anxiety/depression in life to be a productive person.
But I had went from suicidal (which is why I got on it for attempted suicide) and within 2 months I had my life back again. It was like that all the way up untill the end untill I noticed I'd skip work/miss class and had no anxiety about it.
I tried reducing the dose but it doesn't fix the apathy.

This side effect doesn't happen with everyone, so I'd suggest if you try ANY ssris try Lexapro.
DO NOT try paxil or effexor because they have wds almost as bad as opiates. Most of the wds are over in 4 weeks but they are intense as all shit for the first 2. Vomiting, shaking, tremors, twitching, panic attacks.

I never had a reaction like that coming off lexapro.

I mentioned Lexapro as the best SSRI as well.

And why not mention my opinion? Thats the question being asked.

You're right about the SSRIs being essential for people, but thats just not my experience, so why would I talk about how great they are if they don't help me?
 
send money now; satisfaction guaranteed!

Nothing but bad experiences (many years ago, pre-illicit drug use).

The last round in the psychiatric system, I asked a Doctor how they knew what drug(s) to prescribe without performing CAT-scans/MRIs/etc to determine actual chemical imbalances. Or even knowing exactly how the chemical cocktails work.

He explained it was guesswork.
That's when I knew it was all bull$hit.

If I wanted to play Russian Roulette with my brain again, I'd start using amphetamines.
Or just play Russian Roulette.

DO NOT try paxil or effexor because they have wds almost as bad as opiates.

seconded.
 
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Don't let them put you on them mood stabilizers! It's pretty much human tranquilizer :P It's makes you too tired to give a damn. They gave me seroquel but I don't take them unless it's for sleep. I'm on Zoloft, & have been on it for 2 months. It's okay, I can barely tell anything to be honest.
 
I took celexa (ssri) for about a year.
I had to take it with lithium or it'd give me a manic episode. I didn't like it at all. I wasn't happy, I was just angry and fuzzy (this could have been the lithium too). Killed my sex drive COMPLETELY to the point where I started thinking I'd turned into an alien. I gained about 20 lbs which is funny because I spent 10 years trying to gain weight and nothing worked and all of a sudden I couldn't wear any of my clothes. So that (sudden weight gain) plus the lack of any desire to have sex made me feel like complete shit about myself. The only good thing about this was that my ex didn't want to have sex ever anyway so instead of feeling bad I just didn't care.

Got off celexa, got on wellbutrin (ndri) and wasn't too angry anymore. Massively cut down on cigarette smoking, weight stabilized. Sex drive came back. I'm ok with my body now.
A while after that I got off lithium b/c chronic accidental OD. Don't know if that matters. Oh, I'm bipolar. Anyway. I seem to be in a pretty good mood all of the time, which was how I was before I got diagnosed. So that's cool, I'm what I think is my normal self again.

I think you should try therapy plus meds (if you really wanna do meds). Pills can help but you can't always take them forever, you can't always depend on them because they might stop working, side effects are really crappy, trying to figure out the right pill for you is crappy but therapy will help you cope with how you feel, and it will help you change the way you see your (seemingly crappy) world. It really helped me a lot.

And as for the way you feel about yourself, therapy helps that a lot too. You need to learn to not take it so hard on yourself. I went years hating myself because of all the stuff I'd do, and there are still things I've done in my past that make me cringe, especially things during manic episodes :\ . But you need to realize that EVERYONE has embarassing stuff they think about, you're not the only most horrible person in the world. Nowhere close. In fact, you're not that bad at all. You know what you are? HUMAN. Humans make mistakes. Humans do embarassing things, I'm pretty sure that's a requirement of life LOL. It really is OK. Don't expect yourself to be this perfect person. No one is. Oh and chances are that no one remembers that one time you __________ (or whatever) 5 years after you did it. They're not dwelling on it, you don't need to either. The past is over, you can't change it, so take all that effort you spend dwelling on that shit and use it to figure out ways to make your life better, happier.

Ahh in order to really feel better about yourself you need to change your way of thinking. Which therapy helps a lot. I hope you give that a shot. Yeah, it's harder than popping a pill every day, but you're worth that effort.
*hug*
 
I thought I would do another post just to give my experience so far with SSRIs to the OP.

I have been taking zoloft 50mg now for a week. and already the effects have been pretty great. the positives have far outweighed the negatives.

I feel alive again. Things don't take the huge amount of effort that they use to. I don't spend all my time doing nothing, because I am always weighing up the possible negative outcomes of taking action on something. I don't feel like catching up with friends or going and playing sport is a uge chore anymore. Basically, I'm started to realise the joy of things again.

I would be lying if I said they have made me 100% better, they haven't (at least not yet). I still do get a little down at some points during the day, but nowhere to the same extent. Everything doesn't feel black anymore, I'm not just counting time til I can sleep or return to my room to be alone. In fact, being alone in my room on the net or watching movies is starting to lose its appeal. I'm getting chores done, and nothing seems so daunting.

It has also let me begin to see my situation in perspective. I am beginning to realise I don;t have that much to be depressed about. And I am slowly beginning to believe it. I have a girlfriend that loves me dearly, a family that cares for me, friends that want to see me and care about me. I am healthy and in good shape, smart and articulate. and I don't live a bad life.

before I only just focused on the negatives. and when people would say positive things to me, I would rationalise it away and think 'oh they are just saying that' or 'they don't know the real me'.

There are drawbacks, for the first few days I was really nausious. my hands tremble slightly, and I have insomnia. but some of the side effects are quite good. My sex drive has shot through the roof, and my orgams are better=D. sadly my girlfriend is on holidays atm, so I can't enjoy it to its full potential, but she'll be back in half a week.

OP: your depression sounds serious. I think it is worth trying them. yeah there are some shitty side effects, but could they be worse than what you are experiencing now? Nobody should feel the terrible blackness that is depression. It fills up your life. You have nothing to lose by trying them for a few weeks to a month. over that period you will know if they work for you, and you won't get SSRI withdrawal if you stop after a short time.
 
n3ophy7e :Re: SSRI meds
In 2009
With joy, you'd indicated success:
"*after about 7 years, I'm finally off anti-depressants! It's verrry early days though (about 10 days) so i'm treading very cautiously, but so far so good :)"

IME-

For about 7 years, depression stunted my growth and active addiction grew. My body-mind wouldn't consider the possibility of taking SSRI. By 19 I was in "need" of them, accdg. to others (incl. laymen to professionals). Still- the prospect of SSRI's I intentionally ignored.

It was to me a non-human item, a la crab or fried conch.

Though when professionals asked why I refused SSRI's, I gave in and made up a rote response. I didn't have a valid argument, I knew this-- so I'd mumble, and become embarrassed. Effectively, it was always an awkward conversation. I'd say-- To me, SSRI meant surrendering control of my mind to the capitalists; SSRI was highly likely to include Nanotechnology & documentation and/or manipulation.

I digress. I knew that my "view" was factually BS. So ...then... truly? Why the deranged position re: SSRI? Why did I refuse to research the subject at all?

The truth is that-- (cue anti-climax here) -- it was an intuitive hunch.
Years later...
Jan 2010 - Present I take Paxil 40 mg/day. Significant results -- depressive episodes decreased by (say) 85%! SSRI results are subtle and for me, observable in retrospect. I don't see why I'd ever want to quit now that my brain has been changed. I'm unaware of long-term risks & consequences.

If you or anyone has thoughts Re: Why do folks want to get off them so frequently? And/or any other related 'ol thing... feel free.
 
Firstly mami, it is so great to hear you've found a medication which works well for you! <3
Why do folks want to get off them so frequently? And/or any other related 'ol thing... feel free.
I can only speak of my own experiences of course. The reason I was so happy to get off anti-depressants is because they actually weren't making me any better. In fact they were making me even more crazy. I was cutting myself a lot and getting hypomanic. Plus it caused a lot of sexual dysfunction (a common side effect of some types of anti-depressants).
So yes, I was very happy to come off them! :)
 
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