TDS Everything is fucked - meth

[WarChild]

So here I am, sitting in my dark bedroom, off work on sickness benefits, doing nothing because of my last 2 day meth bender and feeling utterly shit. I've got a cask of shit cheap wine next to me which i am drinking like orange juice to numb the fucking pain. The only thing that excites me or makes me feel really truly good is meth. It is all I have. I've been using drugs since the age of 15 (i'm now 33).... 18 fucking years, more than half my fucking life. I know in a day or two i'll feel better, but i know as soon as I do i'll be straight back to my dealer for more meth. There is no reason for me to keep living! I don't believe in suicide so i'm not going to do that, but i'd sure as hell like to! I don't know what the fuck to do. I owe $14k on my credit card from meth. i am totally and utterly black. I have no reason to try, or live. Fuck.

 

[Inflorescence]

I just thought i would say hello, You clearly need some help but I have no experience whatsoever of meth and it's effects ,comedown etc.however I saw this post a bit ago and thought I should pop in. I am probably not in a much better state than you right now with the exception your cheap wine due to your location will be better than the cheap shit you send here

You are stuck in a vicious circle and you can get out of it. You are going to be on this planet probably a good fifty years longer and in that body. Your health (whether directly caused by meth or not) will improve and the worst that can happen is you pay it back over time/you declare yourself bankrupt etc
.
What you need is to keep the focus on the fact you know this state is temporary and YOU WILL FEEL BETTER in a couple of days even hours?. When you do please go and see a health professional to get some advice. If you are lucky enough to have friends and family speak to them too. In fact call one now-When you get that glimpse of feeling better in a day or so grab your chance and help you. Fuck the money-Your mental health and physical health come first. Ride it out-be somewhere safe and call a mate..have a bath..watch a film. This is sort outable and lots of people will have vast experience of this on here and will advice you better later. Hold hard.

 

[baerr]

Hello warchild, i am so sorry to hear that you are going through this meth dragon of hell.
I know its hard to be happy, (meth really fucks with your brain, AND fucks UP your brain) making you feel like you need it to be happy, thats the horrid thing about meth, severely fucks with your happiness.
Its obvious you want to reach out and maybe possibly want help. Do you have any family members that know of your problem? friends?

 

[mrflowers00]

i started with the drugs when i was 7 i'm 24 now and i feel like if i wanted to stop i most certainly could and i think you could do the same

 

[WarChild]

As predicted, here I am again! Scored, smoked it, wanted more, scored again even though i can't afford it, ! Caught in a fucking web.

I can't call on family for help - as far as they know i am clean and i put them through SO much when I was using really heavily that I can't bare to put them through any more. Some of my friends know and they offer help, but man its a demon and once its in my mind NOTHING else matters. I have a psychiatrist and have had counselling but they didn't really help.

Its often when i drink, once i'm pissed all of a sudden meth becomes a good idea. So I figure if i'm seerioius about quitting it then I have to quit booze too. Alcohol really alters my inhibitions
and common sense.

Luckily I have unlimited valium which keeps me sane when i'm coming down. ANd unlimited sleeping tablets which knock me out if i take enough.

Anyway.. its all up to me. I've heard Meth overall is the most addictive recreational drug - heroin is more physically addictive but doesn't have the harsh psychological hold.. i dunno... but either way its got me by the balls!


WC

 

[herbavore]

Its often when i drink, once i'm pissed all of a sudden meth becomes a good idea. So I figure if i'm seerioius about quitting it then I have to quit booze too. Alcohol really alters my inhibitions
and common sense.

I think this is worthwhile to focus on. Addiction is hard to beat but when you start hiding it "to protect others" you know that is a part of what holds you there. It is so tricky to take responsibility without beating yourself up but that is the fine line that needs all your focus.

 

[WarChild]

I actually took my glass pipe, wrapped it up in a towel, put it on the ground and stomped the shit out of it, and put it in a random bin. 2 weeks later my dealer GAVE me a new pipe! ARGH can't get away from it haha... perhaps i can blame him for it all? those darn drug pushers that get you hooked then jack up the price. lol

 

[xxpurplehazexx]

I can only imagine how addictive meth must be considering I'm addicted to/dependent on adderall. I don't really have any advice other than that you should focus on counseling and try not to drink. If possible, it would probably be helpful to move somewhere where you have no meth connections whatsoever and try to start fresh.

 

[tripnotyzm]

You need to stop seeing your dealer!
Even you realize that he/she has no moral respect for your health and well being..
There's a reason why you smashed that pipe, and there's a reason why you have come to us to vent about your addiction.
Start setting some solid goals and targets to get your mind focused on other things..
It may take a few times to reach your goals, but its a good start.