ever have one of those days where you would rather just not be alive?

EAGERBEEZ

Bluelighter
Joined
May 24, 2010
Messages
110
Location
illadelph pa
hey,
let me start by saying, i dont want to kill myself, i just would rather be dead than alive right now, and second, im well aware that there are tons of people worse of than me; but its been a ruff day. at school my fucking best friend gets booked on some bs (that couldve only been discovered at school since apperently you give up all rights when you enter a modern public high school).

then i get home, just wanting to blow a bowl and fucking relax from all the shit that went down with my friend, well what do you know? the fucking lady who cleans my house robbed an oz and 200 dollars from me, great. I go tell my mom about the $200 and she looks at me as if im a con artist, insisting that the cleaning lady would never do that. It really hurt me to know that my mom would trust her opinion of the ladys character over the word of her own son.

An hour later im at my dads house because i cant deal with my mom right now. She just called me, apperently the lady mentioned finding the oz, which she threw away(yeah right) and obviously denied knowing anything about the missing money, and now my mom is completely up my ass about the weed.

Just ate dinner with my dad and told him about all of this hoping he could offer some advice, he's very understanding about what being a teen is like and typically offers logical ways of dealing with some of my problems. I guess tonight was the one night of the year where he decides to call me stupid for hanging around the kid who got arrested(and ill note that i was the one who got him into drugs).

Not to mention that the fucking eagles lost yesterday, and the girl that i really care for seems to not even know i exist half of the time. I'm one of the happiest people i know but lately i seem to have hit a real rough patch. Sorry for all the rambling, but i just really need a place to vent right now seeing that my parents arent an option. thanks for reading and words of encouragment would be much appreciated. hope all you guys had better days than me.

never have i ever wanted a day to end so bad:!
 
Yeah man some days are like that. I've gone through periods where I tried to compare the ups and downs of my life and came to the conclusion that the payoff did not really seem to be even close to all the effort that was required. But these times are temporary even if we are unable to see that at the moment.

So even it today was complete shit, tomorrow or the day after may be the complete opposite. We have to take the shit when it comes/
 
yea man, you're not a lone. Sometimes I get so depressed, that I think to myself that I don't want to go on and deal with the bull shit anymore. I think to myself that death/an eternal slumber would be way better than the current situation I was in.

but I then think to myself how good I have it compared to other people. I may not be a billionaire or as well-off and comfortable as most celebrities, but I was born with a lot of advantages and potential that kids in Africa will never dream of having. I realize that I may not have been born into an inherited fortune and an easy life where money isn't an issue, but I was born with a head start in an upper-middle class family and a resourceful mind, and that is all the potential I need to really make something of my life.

After thinking about that optimistically i usually get myself to cheer up
 
only every day.
maybe you should see a doctor?
sometimes when you start down that road its hard to come back..
 
^ I don't think he needs a doctor, he's just having a bad day. As he said, he's normally a happy individual but sometimes a turn of bad events is enough for your head to hang really low.

i've been there man, i'm sorry about your mate and about that bitchy cleaning lady. you need to set her up and get her ass canned!

best wishes <3
 
When im in full blown withdrawal definately no other place I want to be other than the ground. But when I get my opiates into my system life is fan fucking tastic! :)
 
Bro you're just living a teenage life! Sorry if i'm wrong about your age... But yea you're gonna havr ups and downs. Focus on how you can better your situation and think about your future. Dont dwell on whats already done. That won't get you anywhere! Keep moving!

Just remember you already have it better than a lot of people.
 
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