I'm not sure why I am posting this or where it will lead. but an event just happened that made me realize why it is all worth it. By all I mean life in general. I was just sitting here at my computer, my husband snoring away next to me and my 9 week old kitten playing with a pen at my feet. When my 4 yaer old son dazed from sleep came stumbling down the hall from his bedroom. He stood next to me, grabbed my arm and said "mamma what cha doing up? It's sleeping time?" He then kissed my on the cheek and stumbled back to his bed where I met him and tucked him back in for the night.
It is odd how kids do that, I mean keep you in check and all. He just made me realize how unboring my life is. Many nights I sit here on this board jumping around from thread to thread wondering what life would have been like if I had chosen a different road. It is kinda interesting seeing life through others eyes, getting a different perspective on things, that is one of the things I enjoy about bluelight so much. Bluelight has become my connection to what is increasingly becoming the outside world to me. And usually the grass looks greener on the other side to me. But not tonight, tonight it all makes sense. I am here serving my purpose, doing what makes me happy. I almost feel guilty at this point, I mean there are so many people out there searching for what there purpose is, and I seem to have found mine. At the ripe old age of 21, yes 21, I have it all a wonderful and adoring husband, a beautiful child, and yes even a career. I just never got the chance to be a kid. Was it worth it? Right now I feel that it is, but my answer may be different tommorow and I know it was yesterday. I guess that is the point, I will never know. i will always just be where I am doing whatever I am doing serving my purpose, since after all that is what life is.
It is odd how kids do that, I mean keep you in check and all. He just made me realize how unboring my life is. Many nights I sit here on this board jumping around from thread to thread wondering what life would have been like if I had chosen a different road. It is kinda interesting seeing life through others eyes, getting a different perspective on things, that is one of the things I enjoy about bluelight so much. Bluelight has become my connection to what is increasingly becoming the outside world to me. And usually the grass looks greener on the other side to me. But not tonight, tonight it all makes sense. I am here serving my purpose, doing what makes me happy. I almost feel guilty at this point, I mean there are so many people out there searching for what there purpose is, and I seem to have found mine. At the ripe old age of 21, yes 21, I have it all a wonderful and adoring husband, a beautiful child, and yes even a career. I just never got the chance to be a kid. Was it worth it? Right now I feel that it is, but my answer may be different tommorow and I know it was yesterday. I guess that is the point, I will never know. i will always just be where I am doing whatever I am doing serving my purpose, since after all that is what life is.
