Erectile dysfunction or completely normal?

[Lost Ego]

This has been happening often for me. If i'm going hard for more than a couple of minutes i tend to lose my woody... This usually happens in conjunction with my abs hurting from going too rough(maybe all the blood is in my abs and there's none left for my willy?) or with her stopping me even for a second (could just be that i'm getting distracted and out of the groove?). Sometimes it goes away right before putting it in >=(

It bugs me because i'll have a raging hard on for 30 minutes of foreplay and then lose it after a few minutes of sex. When I have this problem I feel like a horrible lover because I either lose my hard on or finish fast.

No this doesn't always happen. I've had many times when I can keep it up for the entire thing.

 

[Foreigner]

Sometimes the expectation of staying hard is not being met with the reality that certain kinds of stimulation get you hard more than others. If you're 'raging hard' during foreplay and then go soft on penetration, then the problem is not your body but something else. Maybe the position you're using for intercourse is not pleasurable, or maybe foreplay is hotter for you and you're not realizing it because in your mind penetration is supposed to be the main event.

Anyway... you could consider getting a cock ring. Put it on toward the end of foreplay and it will keep you hard. Change up the positions when you try penetrating.

I'm not sure if there's a connection between ab workouts and staying hard. There's enough blood to go around, unless you're anemic or blood deficient somehow.

 

[Lost Ego]

I wouldn't doubt the latter. I do get severe and chronic lightheaded-ness. But then again i'm also a hypochondriac lol.

The cock ring sounds like a good idea.

Um i have this problem in pretty much every position unless she is on top - but i can't cum when she's on top sooooo... =/

Maybe you're right and the main event isn't as hot as i think. I can think of a few things that would turn me on more like turning the lights on or making sure her bra is off. I'll continue getting laid and try some new positions and stuff and get back to you.

The intercourse is definitely pleasurable though - there's no doubt that i enjoy the sex.

I think it could have something to do with a lack of friction too. Like after she has a few orgasms she starts drying up and I tend to lose my hard on when that happens too.

 

[nuttynutskin]

In my limited sexual experience I'd say that that's way too much foreplay. If I spent 30 minutes of foreplay I'd probably nut before the actual sex and go to sleep.

 

[Lost Ego]

Lol i've never nutted before the actual penetration started. And i don't think that's too much foreplay and it's besides the issue here because that was just an example when i mentioned it.

 

[BlueSaffron]

There's no such thing as too much foreplay.

 

[nuttynutskin]

Lol i've never nutted before the actual penetration started. And i don't think that's too much foreplay and it's besides the issue here because that was just an example when i mentioned it.

How is it beside the issue? All people can go by is what your examples are. If you're certain it's not because of spending too long with foreplay then don't change anything.

There's no such thing as too much foreplay.

I like foreplay just as much as anyone but at some point you're going to want to just get down to business. 30 minutes seems too long to me but I guess everyone's different. I still think if the op experimented with less foreplay he might be surprised, but that doesn't sound like it's going to happen.

 

[Lost Ego]

How is it beside the issue? All people can go by is what your examples are. If you're certain it's not because of spending too long with foreplay then don't change anything.



I like foreplay just as much as anyone but at some point you're going to want to just get down to business. 30 minutes seems too long to me but I guess everyone's different. I still think if the op experimented with less foreplay he might be surprised, but that doesn't sound like it's going to happen.

I told you I don't always have 30 minutes of foreplay. It was just an example to display why I'd be frustrated. I can have 0 foreplay - as in come see her, make out for a minute or two as i rip her clothes off and fuck right away. The same thing happens (sometimes). I'm not saying it happens every time but if intercourse goes for longer than 5/10 mins it is almost guaranteed to. If I get distracted, it's almost guaranteed. If lose the hard on it's hard to get back =/

Would you describe losing your erection during sex a dysfunction? Should I go see a doctor for some viagra?
If this happens during sex - as in i'm just thrusting away and it starts getting flacid - what should I say? I don't want her to think it's her fault or the sex is bad... I usually try to play it off, keep thrusting and hope the sensation of her pussy against my half hard cock will excite my wang. I don't like talking about it because I feel inadequate.

 

[Beachcat]

I'm not sure about the mechanics of it..ie if you need to see a dr., but I think Foreigner had a good idea with the cock ring. I would definitely give that a try.

For an added bonus for your girl, look for one that vibrates. Those are awesome and hit the spot just perfectly.

 

[freehugs]

I wouldn't doubt the latter. I do get severe and chronic lightheaded-ness. But then again i'm also a hypochondriac lol.

The cock ring sounds like a good idea.

Um i have this problem in pretty much every position unless she is on top - but i can't cum when she's on top sooooo... =/

Maybe you're right and the main event isn't as hot as i think. I can think of a few things that would turn me on more like turning the lights on or making sure her bra is off. I'll continue getting laid and try some new positions and stuff and get back to you.

The intercourse is definitely pleasurable though - there's no doubt that i enjoy the sex.

I think it could have something to do with a lack of friction too. Like after she has a few orgasms she starts drying up and I tend to lose my hard on when that happens too.

How do you have sex with the lights on and with her still having clothes on?

 

[omnipresenthuman]

I read that you can keep fucking her when she's on top but you can't cum in that position - you could just fuck her like that for a while and pull out and jerk off on/in to her, possibly?

If you're able to get and stay hard naturally, then it shouldn't be a physiological/physical issue. It's probably psychological - I've had similar issues myself, though mine are/were complicated with previous speed use and the peripheral vasoconstriction that came with all that nonsense...if anything, don't feel ashamed about this. It's definitely not that uncommon for some (heterosexual) guys to have trouble maintaining erections when engaging in vaginal intercourse...

you could always try fucking her in her ass, which is likely tighter than her vagina. Or trying a different lube, or the cock ring too as already suggested...

 

[patternagainst]

This is all in your head. Fix it. If you can't, you're with the wrong girl.

 

[Lost Ego]

I think I must agree with all of your logic. it must be psychological. the cock ring idea gave me a theory: i've had too much sex so it's not as exciting. anyways me and the other girl broke up, i'm eager to see how things are with the new one haha

 

[Lost Ego]

hope the problem wont come back with this one. we haven't done a ton but she does love being on top and dry humping my erection. havent lost it from that yet. I would say so much more but I don't have internet and mobile posts are restricted to 256chars

 

[nuttynutskin]

If I get distracted, it's almost guaranteed. If lose the hard on it's hard to get back =/

What are you getting distracted about? The fact that you're distracted during sex might mean it's psychological or you're just not that into your partner.

Would you describe losing your erection during sex a dysfunction?

Yes.

Should I go see a doctor for some viagra?

I would see a doctor but more to see if there isn't an underlying medical issue than to just get viagra. A lot of things could potentially effect your ability to stay hard. Are you healthy? Overweight? What drugs do you do? Do you have diabetes? Suffer from low blood pressure? You get the idea. I would use viagra as a last resort.

If this happens during sex - as in i'm just thrusting away and it starts getting flacid - what should I say? I don't want her to think it's her fault or the sex is bad... I usually try to play it off, keep thrusting and hope the sensation of her pussy against my half hard cock will excite my wang. I don't like talking about it because I feel inadequate.

Tell her it's not you it's me. Seriously tho, there's no real good answer to that. I suppose I would just tell her ahead of time that sometimes you suffer from losing your hard on so she knows it's not anything she's doing wrong. If she's mature she'll appreciate you being honest about it. Or like others you could just get a cock ring until you figure out what the real cause is.

 

[patternagainst]

I'm speaking from experience when I tell you that it's in your head. A lot of times, you have to really be FOCUSED on sex\makin' lurv\the sensual side of everything. Sex is emotional and spiritual for everyone. Find out what you and your partner like, and allow yourself and your mind to slip into ecstasy and go into the moment. You're not in the moment if you're thinking about "I hope I don't lose my erection." It can be challenging to stay in the moment, like when a girl is about to get off and then suddenly it slips away. The answer seems so obvious but it can be difficult to fix. Again, stop thinking about it, think more about your partner: what's doing it for her, what's doing it for you? What's sexy about her? Let yourself go.