Bluelightspecial2
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Nov 7, 2010
- Messages
- 7
I was playing around with about 100 mg/day of oxycodone for a month or two. I got on suboxone for reasons that aren't worth going into here. I've been on bupe for about 6 months now.. Most of that time was just 1-2mg per day. I've also gotten back on clonazapam (currently 1.5mg/day). Over the past month I've tapered down to around .25-.5mg of bupe per day. I think I'm going to jump off tomorrow.. I'm not sure how bad to expect it to be.. It seems like it should be mild, but I've felt like shit through most of the taper so I'm not sure what to expect. (I.e I'm stopping from a baseline where I already feel crappy.)
The real problem is the psychological aspect of things though. I can't fucking stand myself. All I want to do is find the right combination of drugs to keep me obliterated, happy and productive at all times. Currently I hate bupe, I hate benzos, I hate weed I hate alcohol and I hate being sober. I feel so tired (just mentality and emotionally exhausted for no reason). I just want to drive into oncoming traffic. (I won't of course but I'd live to.)
The real problem is the psychological aspect of things though. I can't fucking stand myself. All I want to do is find the right combination of drugs to keep me obliterated, happy and productive at all times. Currently I hate bupe, I hate benzos, I hate weed I hate alcohol and I hate being sober. I feel so tired (just mentality and emotionally exhausted for no reason). I just want to drive into oncoming traffic. (I won't of course but I'd live to.)