Electroconvulsive therapy aka ECT

[Pill Clinton]

This was my dosage before I changed my life. All doses were at the same time.
Xanax-8mg Daily
Klonopin-4mg daily
Temazepam-30mg daily
Adderall 20mg 3x daily
That was for about 11 years. Then, I had an accident at work I was given
Hydromorphone (Dilaudid) 2mg 120
Oxycodone w. APAP (percocet) 60
Diazepam (Valium) 5mg 30
I went through straight up hell detoxing. I still honestly am. The first medicine I remember getting "high" off was "Cherratussin" Codeine cough syrup when I was only a little kid I got gotten ill all the time like with Bronchitis and that or "Tussionex" aka liquid Hydrocodone was always given. I remember the taste of the Cough Syrup my mother hid it up high up but I just remember that warm blanket feeling that was around 8 years old. Then, Percocet when I broke my arm at about 9. started to smoke weed at 10 or 11. Had hot flashes and panic all through Elementary/Middle & even High School. I was shaking and in a severe panic attack long story short I got on Klonopin low dose at first then 1mg 4x 120 about half a year later. So, after years of this this I was finally found to be on 3 benzo's and Adderall. Then, the car accident and bam then came the Opiates. I was introduced into OxyContin, Methadose, Endocet, Vicodin & even introduced to Dog Food (H) all in High school and yeah I loved it but I didn't "need" it.
So, after my accident and so many years I'm talking around 7-10 years on these high doses. My Doctor left the Practice and BOOM... Taken off of everything to another Benzo. Withdrawal was HELLISH it was LIKE psychosis from Meth (never touched real meth though)! Throwing clothes out of the window, Ripping sh*t outta the wall, This concoction had me going BONKERS. I went sent to two physc. wards. The first was fine got stuck there b/c of the weekend and even brought two 100mcg Fentanyl patches in my paperwork then stuck em' on my back.
I remember so much going on there they cut my dosage in HALF! Couldn't get ahold of the Doc. he was on Vacation (Yeah, I know right?)
long story short I was fine got sleep went to every class and looked at it as vacation. The second time was not NICE at all! They had E.C.T therapy and I was told they will hold you for months (some years) if you didn't go along with the Teams orders. So, I bit the bullet I had done everything in the street how bad could it be???

It was bad. The Doc. said sorry "bud I don't wanna do this" gave me a very very high dose of propofol every time I got ECT they said it was the highest doses they gave to someone my age ( I was in my early 20's) and k.o'ed me out. I woke up in a room full of old people. Wondering how I got there. Then, came the weird ass fruits and coffee and wheeled back to my unit in a wheelchair. I had 12+ sessions of ECT & that's the truth. All under the age 25 just to get OUT OF THERE! (some people around my age had just one E.C.T session and WOULD never get it and refused to get it again.....they got 4x the stay I'm talking half of a year to a whole year!)

I got out and NEVER, EVER.... EVER WENT BACK. I was on cocktail of unbelieve meds. all at once. So, when you think of abusing or misusing Benzodiazepine's think long and hard of the long term effects.



edit- I know this is a lot but I just HAD to get this shit out, All my close Friends passed away ..... there's really no one else left and if there is they cannot be found.

 

[Jerry Atrick]

Holy shit, I'm so sorry this happened to you and you were coerced into ECT because doctors didn't taper you properly when your original doc left. Do you mind sharing how the ECT affected you both physically and mentally?

I've heard that it erases long term memories, which I learned from reading several biographies about singer/songwriter Townes Van Zandt.

I think ECT is barbaric and should be banned. I've spent time in 6 psych wards and the only one that even hinted at ECT was a state hospital where I was committed for a few months. One time my dad made a shitty comment that the state hospital scared me straight, as if I was miraculously cured of my mental illness. I was like No, I was scared into taking my meds. There is a difference.

Anyways, I'm glad you haven't been back. Recently my psychiatrist and I began tweaking my meds and I took initiative to fill out a Mental Health Advance Directive. I just googled searched one for my state, printed, filled it out, and had it notarized to make it official. The whole purpose of the document is if you become unable to communicate for yourself, it allows you to choose your treatment in advance. Of course I opted out of ever receiving ECT as well as opting out of any Long Acting Injectable medication like Invega Sustenna or Risperdal Consta or Abilify Maintenna.

It sounds like your issue was an improper taper rather than being organically psychotic. Have you ever been diagnosed with an actual mental illness? If you ever think you might end up relapsing or being sent to another psych ward, I would highly suggest finding a Mental Health Advance Directive template online, filling it out, and bringing it with you to the hospital. I gave a copy to my mom as well, in case I am unable to advocate for myself.

Thank you for sharing your story. I hope you are doing better now. Peace!

 

[Pill Clinton]

Holy shit, I'm so sorry this happened to you and you were coerced into ECT because doctors didn't taper you properly when your original doc left. Do you mind sharing how the ECT affected you both physically and mentally?

I've heard that it erases long term memories, which I learned from reading several biographies about singer/songwriter Townes Van Zandt.

I think ECT is barbaric and should be banned. I've spent time in 6 psych wards and the only one that even hinted at ECT was a state hospital where I was committed for a few months. One time my dad made a shitty comment that the state hospital scared me straight, as if I was miraculously cured of my mental illness. I was like No, I was scared into taking my meds. There is a difference.

Anyways, I'm glad you haven't been back. Recently my psychiatrist and I began tweaking my meds and I took initiative to fill out a Mental Health Advance Directive. I just googled searched one for my state, printed, filled it out, and had it notarized to make it official. The whole purpose of the document is if you become unable to communicate for yourself, it allows you to choose your treatment in advance. Of course I opted out of ever receiving ECT as well as opting out of any Long Acting Injectable medication like Invega Sustenna or Risperdal Consta or Abilify Maintenna.

It sounds like your issue was an improper taper rather than being organically psychotic. Have you ever been diagnosed with an actual mental illness? If you ever think you might end up relapsing or being sent to another psych ward, I would highly suggest finding a Mental Health Advance Directive template online, filling it out, and bringing it with you to the hospital. I gave a copy to my mom as well, in case I am unable to advocate for myself.

Thank you for sharing your story. I hope you are doing better now. Peace!

Thank you for responding as this topic is a very IMO a absolute last resort action & many people have no idea about it.

That is EXACTLY was it was an "improper taper" I have been and am still on all legit & legal very large "benzodiazepine doses"

The Doctors by the time of 24/25 years old had used every single medicine on me from Pain Killers/Benzos/Amps. you name it!

How did ECT affect me mentally & physically? I honestly just remember being so doped out on Propofol once they get you in there , they set you up do the machine explain the situation to you (as you are half dead) and you just at that point HAVE TO GIVE IN (or rot away in psych/ ward for months which lead to years) unless you're Family is stinking rich I've seen many Patients get literally bought out of care (yeah, the rehab industry is GREAT!)
But. I would come back to the unit fully awake and aware of what just took place in a wheelchair. They make you wait a half hour to watch for Symptoms after each session.
I felt ashamed, I guess you could say mind felt like it was just frazzled for about an hour or two. All the other people looking at you to see if you're OK.
They use to wheel in me and give me 1mg Ativan's like they were Pez Candies. The main effect was just fogginess I have lost some memory of the time this all happened due to the QUICK AMOUT of session after session. I felt truly like a "Project" of the Mental Health System.

But, mentally honestly I feel like it's a taken a GREAT toll on me. Like, a rape/invasion of my body like I know what they did WAS NOT OK. I never could/can tell ANYONE about it. Due to the severity of it. If I told my girlfriend I'd feel sad/mad/angry/depressed and most of all embarrassed.
That's the god's honest truth. I Told one Friend and they never looked at the same ever again. People judge if they hear this kind of stuff.

I didn't loose all my long term memories....but, I don't remember that much of my childhood or teen years as well as I did before ECT.

Thank you again my Friend...... And, Thank God I've NEVER BEEN BACK! I try to tell kids/young people Xanax/Benzo's can be much more than just death and overdoses. Such as getting as hooked legally and then not having the proper Taper System leading to psychotic episodes I was NEVER Suicidal nor homicidal EVER!

It's good you have taken action JUST IN CASE! You can never be too careful. Do everything you can do avoid this.

I have never been told I have any mental illness except Anxiety, Insomnia, Severe Pain and ADHD.

I know I will never be that low again (Praying to the lord I don't) I was also with a woman I was engaged to & that ended I forgot to mention that. That could have been a BIG detail I forgot to say. I was loyal to her for over 6 yrs and I got f*cked over by her. It also caused severe turmoil.

You're welcome my Friend. I will share all my life stories just to help another not have to walk into my shoes. I know you can't talk someone outta using but think twice when you think you know it all. I have been good since I got released still no change still on high dose benzo's still on the same meds. I guess lol the Docs gave up!?!

If you have anymore questions feel free to ask.

Peace & Love

-P.C

 

[paranoid android]

ECT is fucking bullshit and barbaric. The shit should be outlawed. Im so sorry you had to go through that Fuck psych wards to they are hell or rather purgatory which i thought i was in at the time. One guy i knew in the psych ward had ECT and he couldnt even remember who the fuck i was after getting it even though he had just talked to me a few hours before

I was forced to go cold turkey from 150mg's of morphine and 6mg's of clonazepam in the psych ward so i know all about improper tapers to. Those places are just horrible and they treat you like your a fucking criminal not a actual person.

 

[feelnlow]

Holy shit, I'm so sorry this happened to you and you were coerced into ECT because doctors didn't taper you properly when your original doc left. Do you mind sharing how the ECT affected you both physically and mentally?

I've heard that it erases long term memories, which I learned from reading several biographies about singer/songwriter Townes Van Zandt.

I think ECT is barbaric and should be banned. I've spent time in 6 psych wards and the only one that even hinted at ECT was a state hospital where I was committed for a few months. One time my dad made a shitty comment that the state hospital scared me straight, as if I was miraculously cured of my mental illness. I was like No, I was scared into taking my meds. There is a difference.

Anyways, I'm glad you haven't been back. Recently my psychiatrist and I began tweaking my meds and I took initiative to fill out a Mental Health Advance Directive. I just googled searched one for my state, printed, filled it out, and had it notarized to make it official. The whole purpose of the document is if you become unable to communicate for yourself, it allows you to choose your treatment in advance. Of course I opted out of ever receiving ECT as well as opting out of any Long Acting Injectable medication like Invega Sustenna or Risperdal Consta or Abilify Maintenna.

It sounds like your issue was an improper taper rather than being organically psychotic. Have you ever been diagnosed with an actual mental illness? If you ever think you might end up relapsing or being sent to another psych ward, I would highly suggest finding a Mental Health Advance Directive template online, filling it out, and bringing it with you to the hospital. I gave a copy to my mom as well, in case I am unable to advocate for myself.

Thank you for sharing your story. I hope you are doing better now. Peace!

Girls told me stories during my voluntary admission for ECT of its miraculous success. Just because it doesn't work for some doesn't merit its banning. I had 12 sessions and effects were benign, nonetheless Its efficacy is high on paper.

 

[Pill Clinton]

Girls told me stories during my voluntary admission for ECT of its miraculous success. Just because it doesn't work for some doesn't merit its banning. I had 12 sessions and effects were benign, nonetheless Its efficacy is high on paper.

Electroconvulsive therapy for some can be life changing for some. You are obviously one of them. I am not.

For me, it was torturous, truly barbaric and the absolute last line of treatment after all Medications have failed from Opiate's. Amps to Benzo's. Every single Doctor looked down at me with horror. They even asked "This kid is only ( X years old are you sure???) Then. came the propofol which I needed a great dosage to achieve to knock me out. it would take a good 20 minutes for me to get knocked out.

I've been on Medications since I was very young all at extremely high doses. For me, personally it was my ONLY WAY OUT!
I remember being told that E.C.T was NOT for me as I am not deemed even Bipolar/Schizophrenic.


edit-12 sessions is just inhouse. I've have way more sessions. This was part of my contract to leave this Facility & STAY FREE

 

[feelnlow]

Electroconvulsive therapy for some can be life changing for some. You are obviously one of them. I am not.

For me, it was torturous, truly barbaric and the absolute last line of treatment after all Medications have failed from Opiate's. Amps to Benzo's. Every single Doctor looked down at me with horror. They even asked "This kid is only ( X years old are you sure???) Then. came the propofol which I needed a great dosage to achieve to knock me out. it would take a good 20 minutes for me to get knocked out.

I've been on Medications since I was very young all at extremely high doses. For me, personally it was my ONLY WAY OUT!
I remember being told that E.C.T was NOT for me as I am not deemed even Bipolar/Schizophrenic.


edit-12 sessions is just inhouse. I've have way more sessions. This was part of my contract to leave this Facility & STAY FREE

Those circumstances are horrific, its actually very effective for depression and I was 18, many others within my age range were there willingly aswell. Willingly is key though, I couldn't imagine coercion with something so serious, sorry to hear. Strange that the Propofol took so long, sounds like too low of a dose.

 

[Jerry Atrick]

Girls told me stories during my voluntary admission for ECT of its miraculous success. Just because it doesn't work for some doesn't merit its banning. I had 12 sessions and effects were benign, nonetheless Its efficacy is high on paper.

I dunno man. I'm not intending to argue with you that it doesn't work for some people. At one time I'm sure frontal lobotomies had high efficacy on paper as well. Doesn't mean it was ethical or the right thing to do.

My aunt received ECT over the period of many years for schizophrenia. She's lived in a nursing home since she was in her 50s and can't work or do much of anything anymore. I'm not sure if ECT caused this or her illness but ECT certainly wasn't able to help her become a productive member of society, whatever that is supposed to mean.

Not sure if you know this but ECT was originally used in slaughterhouses to calm cattle before they were to have their throats cut. Then some doctor thought it would be a good idea to use it to calm down humans who were depressed or manic. It's not exactly an uplifting story but history is supposed to make us uncomfortable so that we can learn from it.

Like I said, maybe it does help some people. Or maybe it causes a placebo effect where they convince themselves it helped considering how it is such an extreme treatment.
In either case, the OP was clearly not bipolar or schizophrenic and was coerced into something that never should have been done to them.

My heart goes out to everyone here and regardless of previous or current diagnoses or treatments, I hope everyone is doing well today