iNOVA
Ex-Bluelighter
Halloween comes by each year. With each pass I become older. Life will always be changing for all of us and sometimes we fight so hard for our future that we forget to live in our present. This is actual knowledge. Even as you read this life continues to tick. Not in the past or future, but right now in this Moment. So how will you spend your moment right now?
I would like to spend it writing. Writing is an excellent method of retaining information. Through our writing we can revisit the past. Even though life moves by, we must cherish our fondest memories.
Saturday October 31 2009. Monster Massive. The adventure began that night. We had decided to take my car which I was okay with. It had been awhile since I had driven to a rave so I was eager and pleased to be of service. My friends were riding with me. Mark is a veteran, me and him have been through countless adventures. We also brought his two friends Sarah and Mike. Along with us was a new friend. One who comes from a different part of the globe. Yet all share the same planet, it was no surprise that Annette fit in well with us. She was excited to visit her first rave. Apparently there was nothing like this is Sweden, so she was in for a surprise.
We did the same thing we do every year. We spend a day or two prepping up, buying sunglasses, and acquiring all the essential party favors. This time, we had found some Blue Smurf Pokeballs. The stamp , size and color don’t really matter…none of those things will determine what contents are within the pill. The only way to determine that is by testing it. Luckily for us, I had a kit. These ones tested for MDMA, the active ingredient in Ecstasy.
Once upon a time ago I had been a much more frequent roller. For about 6 months in the fall of 2006 and winter of 2007, I had rolled once a month. That was way to often. My mind was left saddened and desperate for a ray of hope. My depression was awful for the rest of that year…yet I could not help myself. There were so many excellent raves in So Cal and because I was new to LA I was excited by everything around me. Eventually, I learned and started taking long breaks. Many times I even enjoy my raves sober.
2009. The last time I had rolled was May 2009 up in San Francisco..Me Kate and Saul had all made a visit to go to a large rave called etd.POP. Deadmau5 was the headliner and we had pure MDMA capsules. It was a memory I would never forget, but after that I decided I wanted to take a 5 month break.
Flash forward back to Halloween in October.
The night of the event was a hustle as always. Whenever there is a rave at the Coliseum or Sports Arena there is always traffic. You can spend hours just trying to get down the freeway and try to find a place to park. We wanted to try to beat the rush. Its unbelievable how many people love to go to these things…since I started going they have only gotten bigger and bigger. Lights have gotten brighter, the speakers have gotten louder, and the energy is one omniscient cry to the heaven that is our Universe. We were not about to miss out on this.
After finding parking in the sub level of the Garage, We proceed to hide our pills, adjust our costumes, and prepare for our journey. We had no clue what awaited us. Unfortunately the first thing we found was not exactly fun. A massive line which I suspected would be probably be the size of the whole crowd. The promoters had attempted to organize the lines, but not very well. It ended up being one giant mass struggling to creep into the event. I felt a riot was inevitable. Somehow through some miracle we made it to the front. We were briskly searched and allowed in.
Welcome to Monster Massive.
The energy was thunderous. The crowds were enormous. It was time to start our adventure. Saul and Kate had ridden in a separate car. Saul’s Birthday was on the 1st of November, so technically at Midnight we would all wish him a happy birthday. (Mine was on Wednesday) The trouble however, would be attempting to find him in this crowd. Especially knowing about the line they were waiting in…I didn’t want Annette to have a bad time just waiting around. I wanted her to see what made these things special. After a little debate, Mark decided we could meet them a bit later. I agreed and we hopped in the line to go to the House stage which was the Sports arena.
It honestly didn’t take long at all. We got into the arena pretty quickly and when we reached the crowd I was a little let down. The crowd seemed much smaller then usual. Usually the trance stage is down stairs which makes the arena a massive ball of dancing energy. Still, We proceeded to work our way into the crowd and as I watched the lights around me and the people dancing, my spirit started to glow. Its was only 22:30 after all..
We found a nice area to hold up in. we made the decision to drop our pills. Normally I wait until about 1130 or 12 to drop my pills, but tonight was different and I knew we had strong ones so I decided it would be a good idea. After acquiring a bottle of water and jumping back into the crowd, we all dropped. Annette took a half at first because we didn’t want her to be too surprised on her first time. After dancing for another 30 min, I still had received no word from my other friends. I think everyone may have been starting to feel very subtle effects of the pills though they may not have known it. We had all chilled out and relaxed a bit, so I knew it wouldn’t be long before the excitement and rush of euphoria would take over. I had hoped to find them before it happened, so we went upstairs to the Trance arena.
The Trance Arena was MASSIVE. This must be the Massive part of Monster Massive. It was just a sea of people…speaker cubes were set up throughout the crowd. We waited at the back trying to find a place to find them. Finally, we ended up finding them. It was at this point that I started to feel my pill.
All my concerns…all my worries and fears…started to crumble away. Tonight I could see clearly. Everything looks so beautiful. Its always like this, but why did I never look at the world this way before? We dug our way into the crowd. Somehow we had lost Mike and Sarah.
WHOOSH. The sky lights up as the fire torches heat the whole crowd. The moon watches us from above. Everyone’s energy is blown up. I am blowing up. I talk to people who are close to me…I look into there eyes to let them know that what I am feeling is honest and true. I care about people and tonight I will tell them. Tonight I can be completely honest. Those who understand continue the gaze back at me…without breaking it for a second. The eyes are the gateway to the soul. I know that I can not forget what I am feeling now…because I will not feel this way tomorrow.
The rave is massive. We take a break and go to the back of the crowd. Saul and Kate had to go to the bathroom so we agreed to wait for them. At this point I think we were all feeling our pills. We were waiting for a while. It got a bit frustrating but finally we ended up meeting them. They were both rolling at this point. I could tell by how ecstatic they were. After greeting them and wishing Saul a Happy Birthday we proceeded to check out Armin Van Buuren. The crowd was bursting with energy. I watched as he dropped one of my favorite old songs “The Closest – by DJ Fire”. Even with all the energy most of us were starting to plateau. The plateau is when you come to a mellow steady high. Most of us wanted to sit down at this point so we went to check out DJ Reza. His set was bouncy and a lot of fun. We sat up in the bleachers mesmerized by the crowd. I forgot how long we were there, but before I knew it it was already about 3:00. Day light savings during a rave is weird. The best plan at this point was to start heading out. I knew that soon we would all start coming down and I didn’t want that to happen in traffic.
It took awhile for us to get on the freeway…I was still pretty fucked up and probably made a poor decision to be driving, but luckily I had close friends with me to help me guide my vehicle back safely. Somehow we made it through the 10 freeway. I was driving like 30 without even knowing it and so everyone told me to speed up. Lol.
We got back to Mark’s and wasted no time to start smoking weed. Normally I take a Xanax to get rid of my anxiety after E, but I had misplaced it somehow so I just accepted it. Everyone was feeling a bit worn down by now, but we still wanted to socialize and be together. My short term memory was going in and out and I kept saying stuff that made no sense. I think I was probably acting goofy at this point. I didn’t care.
Not long after we’d arrived, Kate and Saul showed up. Kate had a surprise for me. It was an awesome gift with super cool wrapping paper. It took me a long time to open it because I was so impressed with how much thought went into it. I was so happy. It wasn’t the drugs, I just couldn’t believe how much care was in this package.
And then I opened it and found the surprise inside. A brand new perfect size grey technics T-shirt. It was awesome. I couldn’t think of a more awesome gift.
Everyone started to drag a bit. I was feeling really happy because of the gift I had received, but I could tell people were having a hard time coming down. I hate it when people are having a rough time…I don’t like seeing my friends unhappy. I could tell Mark was getting a bit Grumpy and Kate was tripping out in her own world. Saul was also having a rough time it seemed. He has a strong will but I think its hard for all of us to accept the loss of all the beauty. I was especially sad when I saw Annette looking down. She looked so disappointed. Her smile is always glowing and I didn’t want her to feel regretful after her first rave. Deep down something in her eyes sparked a ray of hope, and I knew that she remembered all the fun she had.
Usually at this point its best to go to sleep…plus people were really tired. It’s not safe for tired people to drive. I decided I would take side streets to avoid the police. When I got back to my place I took all the steps necessary to get comfortable. I smoked some good bud and put something on to fall asleep to. It had been a great night.
It was all in the moment. We can not chase our high. People can not feel like that all the time…it would be too dangerous. Ecstasy is a bit of a self regulating drug in that you cant do it all the time. When we use it it must be special. The longer we wait in between the more special it will be. The most important thing is to remember the lessons we learn about ourselves and those around us while were on the drug…because tomorrow that will be what we carry with us.
So in conclusion how do you see the drug? Do you use it as a tool or a weapon?
That is my question.
Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_ecstasy
substancecode_mdma
substancecode_empathogens
substancecode_marijuana
substancecode_cannabis
_combo_
explevel_experienced
exptype_positive
exptype_glowing
roacode_oral
roacode_smoked
roacode_inhaled
I would like to spend it writing. Writing is an excellent method of retaining information. Through our writing we can revisit the past. Even though life moves by, we must cherish our fondest memories.
Saturday October 31 2009. Monster Massive. The adventure began that night. We had decided to take my car which I was okay with. It had been awhile since I had driven to a rave so I was eager and pleased to be of service. My friends were riding with me. Mark is a veteran, me and him have been through countless adventures. We also brought his two friends Sarah and Mike. Along with us was a new friend. One who comes from a different part of the globe. Yet all share the same planet, it was no surprise that Annette fit in well with us. She was excited to visit her first rave. Apparently there was nothing like this is Sweden, so she was in for a surprise.
We did the same thing we do every year. We spend a day or two prepping up, buying sunglasses, and acquiring all the essential party favors. This time, we had found some Blue Smurf Pokeballs. The stamp , size and color don’t really matter…none of those things will determine what contents are within the pill. The only way to determine that is by testing it. Luckily for us, I had a kit. These ones tested for MDMA, the active ingredient in Ecstasy.
Once upon a time ago I had been a much more frequent roller. For about 6 months in the fall of 2006 and winter of 2007, I had rolled once a month. That was way to often. My mind was left saddened and desperate for a ray of hope. My depression was awful for the rest of that year…yet I could not help myself. There were so many excellent raves in So Cal and because I was new to LA I was excited by everything around me. Eventually, I learned and started taking long breaks. Many times I even enjoy my raves sober.
2009. The last time I had rolled was May 2009 up in San Francisco..Me Kate and Saul had all made a visit to go to a large rave called etd.POP. Deadmau5 was the headliner and we had pure MDMA capsules. It was a memory I would never forget, but after that I decided I wanted to take a 5 month break.
Flash forward back to Halloween in October.
The night of the event was a hustle as always. Whenever there is a rave at the Coliseum or Sports Arena there is always traffic. You can spend hours just trying to get down the freeway and try to find a place to park. We wanted to try to beat the rush. Its unbelievable how many people love to go to these things…since I started going they have only gotten bigger and bigger. Lights have gotten brighter, the speakers have gotten louder, and the energy is one omniscient cry to the heaven that is our Universe. We were not about to miss out on this.
After finding parking in the sub level of the Garage, We proceed to hide our pills, adjust our costumes, and prepare for our journey. We had no clue what awaited us. Unfortunately the first thing we found was not exactly fun. A massive line which I suspected would be probably be the size of the whole crowd. The promoters had attempted to organize the lines, but not very well. It ended up being one giant mass struggling to creep into the event. I felt a riot was inevitable. Somehow through some miracle we made it to the front. We were briskly searched and allowed in.
Welcome to Monster Massive.
The energy was thunderous. The crowds were enormous. It was time to start our adventure. Saul and Kate had ridden in a separate car. Saul’s Birthday was on the 1st of November, so technically at Midnight we would all wish him a happy birthday. (Mine was on Wednesday) The trouble however, would be attempting to find him in this crowd. Especially knowing about the line they were waiting in…I didn’t want Annette to have a bad time just waiting around. I wanted her to see what made these things special. After a little debate, Mark decided we could meet them a bit later. I agreed and we hopped in the line to go to the House stage which was the Sports arena.
It honestly didn’t take long at all. We got into the arena pretty quickly and when we reached the crowd I was a little let down. The crowd seemed much smaller then usual. Usually the trance stage is down stairs which makes the arena a massive ball of dancing energy. Still, We proceeded to work our way into the crowd and as I watched the lights around me and the people dancing, my spirit started to glow. Its was only 22:30 after all..
We found a nice area to hold up in. we made the decision to drop our pills. Normally I wait until about 1130 or 12 to drop my pills, but tonight was different and I knew we had strong ones so I decided it would be a good idea. After acquiring a bottle of water and jumping back into the crowd, we all dropped. Annette took a half at first because we didn’t want her to be too surprised on her first time. After dancing for another 30 min, I still had received no word from my other friends. I think everyone may have been starting to feel very subtle effects of the pills though they may not have known it. We had all chilled out and relaxed a bit, so I knew it wouldn’t be long before the excitement and rush of euphoria would take over. I had hoped to find them before it happened, so we went upstairs to the Trance arena.
The Trance Arena was MASSIVE. This must be the Massive part of Monster Massive. It was just a sea of people…speaker cubes were set up throughout the crowd. We waited at the back trying to find a place to find them. Finally, we ended up finding them. It was at this point that I started to feel my pill.
All my concerns…all my worries and fears…started to crumble away. Tonight I could see clearly. Everything looks so beautiful. Its always like this, but why did I never look at the world this way before? We dug our way into the crowd. Somehow we had lost Mike and Sarah.
WHOOSH. The sky lights up as the fire torches heat the whole crowd. The moon watches us from above. Everyone’s energy is blown up. I am blowing up. I talk to people who are close to me…I look into there eyes to let them know that what I am feeling is honest and true. I care about people and tonight I will tell them. Tonight I can be completely honest. Those who understand continue the gaze back at me…without breaking it for a second. The eyes are the gateway to the soul. I know that I can not forget what I am feeling now…because I will not feel this way tomorrow.
The rave is massive. We take a break and go to the back of the crowd. Saul and Kate had to go to the bathroom so we agreed to wait for them. At this point I think we were all feeling our pills. We were waiting for a while. It got a bit frustrating but finally we ended up meeting them. They were both rolling at this point. I could tell by how ecstatic they were. After greeting them and wishing Saul a Happy Birthday we proceeded to check out Armin Van Buuren. The crowd was bursting with energy. I watched as he dropped one of my favorite old songs “The Closest – by DJ Fire”. Even with all the energy most of us were starting to plateau. The plateau is when you come to a mellow steady high. Most of us wanted to sit down at this point so we went to check out DJ Reza. His set was bouncy and a lot of fun. We sat up in the bleachers mesmerized by the crowd. I forgot how long we were there, but before I knew it it was already about 3:00. Day light savings during a rave is weird. The best plan at this point was to start heading out. I knew that soon we would all start coming down and I didn’t want that to happen in traffic.
It took awhile for us to get on the freeway…I was still pretty fucked up and probably made a poor decision to be driving, but luckily I had close friends with me to help me guide my vehicle back safely. Somehow we made it through the 10 freeway. I was driving like 30 without even knowing it and so everyone told me to speed up. Lol.
We got back to Mark’s and wasted no time to start smoking weed. Normally I take a Xanax to get rid of my anxiety after E, but I had misplaced it somehow so I just accepted it. Everyone was feeling a bit worn down by now, but we still wanted to socialize and be together. My short term memory was going in and out and I kept saying stuff that made no sense. I think I was probably acting goofy at this point. I didn’t care.
Not long after we’d arrived, Kate and Saul showed up. Kate had a surprise for me. It was an awesome gift with super cool wrapping paper. It took me a long time to open it because I was so impressed with how much thought went into it. I was so happy. It wasn’t the drugs, I just couldn’t believe how much care was in this package.
And then I opened it and found the surprise inside. A brand new perfect size grey technics T-shirt. It was awesome. I couldn’t think of a more awesome gift.
Everyone started to drag a bit. I was feeling really happy because of the gift I had received, but I could tell people were having a hard time coming down. I hate it when people are having a rough time…I don’t like seeing my friends unhappy. I could tell Mark was getting a bit Grumpy and Kate was tripping out in her own world. Saul was also having a rough time it seemed. He has a strong will but I think its hard for all of us to accept the loss of all the beauty. I was especially sad when I saw Annette looking down. She looked so disappointed. Her smile is always glowing and I didn’t want her to feel regretful after her first rave. Deep down something in her eyes sparked a ray of hope, and I knew that she remembered all the fun she had.
Usually at this point its best to go to sleep…plus people were really tired. It’s not safe for tired people to drive. I decided I would take side streets to avoid the police. When I got back to my place I took all the steps necessary to get comfortable. I smoked some good bud and put something on to fall asleep to. It had been a great night.
It was all in the moment. We can not chase our high. People can not feel like that all the time…it would be too dangerous. Ecstasy is a bit of a self regulating drug in that you cant do it all the time. When we use it it must be special. The longer we wait in between the more special it will be. The most important thing is to remember the lessons we learn about ourselves and those around us while were on the drug…because tomorrow that will be what we carry with us.
So in conclusion how do you see the drug? Do you use it as a tool or a weapon?
That is my question.
Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_ecstasy
substancecode_mdma
substancecode_empathogens
substancecode_marijuana
substancecode_cannabis
_combo_
explevel_experienced
exptype_positive
exptype_glowing
roacode_oral
roacode_smoked
roacode_inhaled
Last edited by a moderator:
Once again thanks for the good read.
