jam uh weezy
Bluelighter
This is pretty long, It's more so a trip report/story for my first rave as well as my highest dose of E. I dose in the fourth paragraph, if you just wanna skip to where I come up, go to the ***.
I'm sitting at the bus stop in front of my house. It's 5:55 p.m. "This is stupid, you didn't think this through enough", I'm thinking. My car broke down the day before, and I lost my cell phone the same day. I have 10 dollars in my wallet, and a sack of about 7 dollars in quarters. It's a 4 hour, 3-bus ride to downtown San Bernadino, I'll be alone in a city I am hardly familiar with, and I've never been to a rave before. I haven't even been to a concert without friends before. I'm not even sure I'll have enough money to get back. As the bus rolls around the bend I push any thoughts produced by insecurity and anxiety away. I've already decided to do this, losing my car and being low on cash isn't gonna stop me.
Board bus. 90 mins later, make riverside county tranfser. Bus driver is very cool, a black girl who grew up in the hood, you can hear it in her style of speech. We talk for about 40 mins before I sit down for the rest of the ride. One last bus transfer, and 30 mins later I'm dropped off on x St. About a half an hour walk to my destination. The streets are fuckin empty. I've been to S.B. one other time and it is a very drab city. I keep my eye on the shady characters hanging around little storefront inlets. I'm not about to have my night ruined for letting my awareness slip. Two seperate times while waiting at a crosswalk, some dudes kept yelling shit like "heyy white boy, what the fuck are you doing here." "you fuckin pussy". I ignore them. It's not hard to find the place, I can hear it like half a mile away.
The will call line was long. I'm still kind of nervous, this is all new to me. So instead of chatting up all the gorgeous, barely clothed women around me, I stay low key, just talking a little to the people who approach me. Get my ticket, and head to the porta-potties just outside the gated main entrance and take one pill. Feeling a little more comfortable, so I chat up some of the people I'm in line with. They're bitching about the guy who's patting down people in our line, he was being verrry thorough in comparison with the others. I swear, he felt my stash. I know he did. (i fucked up after i took the first pill, and was a little careless putting it back in place). This guy was tossing joints, cigs, and whatever else he found on people, but he didn't mess with that little baggy. Got through the main gate probably at about 10:45-11ish, head right. I'm already kind of in awe of everything going around me. I lock eyes with the first chick I see, and she smiles deeply at me. I'm still a little nervous, in my head, but I know this is gonna be a fun night.
I head right, and enter a building that contains an impressive display of lights, and a show of all types and sizes of people dancing. I sit down and take it in for a few minutes, admiring the dancing and stilt walkers and lights. The music doesn't really sound like my thing, so I walk outside and go under a giant tent. Everything seems a bit surreal. The random bouts of dance sprouting up throughout the crowd. The massive amount of people. The big circles of dancing going on together. The lights. The gigantic stage. The heat. And of course, the loud music. It's not that the e is kicking in yet, I was only in line for about 20 minutes after dosing. But the whole environment was so new too me.
I walk around for about 10 minutes, checking out the other attractions and the rides on the eastern part. I'm stoked to see a bunch of tags on the walls from some well established writers that have inspired me. I sit on the side of one of the buildings, and about 30 minutes later I followed through with my plan and swallowed the second pill, after chewing it up a bit with my front teeth. It really doesn't taste good, but not as wretched as I have heard often. Get a water. 3 dollars for 20 oz!!
***I sit on a bench bench, walk through some of thee grassy areas, really just looking around for some people i might have known. I feel like I want to dance, but I'm still a feeling a bit self conscious. I feel the come up immediately after standing. Walking is light and breezy. I had planned earlier to try and check out the whole place before I am rolling to hard, so I walk across the map decide to check out the other two main halls. I walk into the one closer to center and when I hear the music, i'm like 'this is it.' I dance for a bit, check out other people dancing even more. Some of the things these people do is highly talented.
I walk around outside a bit more. See a lot of people kneeling down with another person giving them a light show. The hypnotic gaze these people had while this was going one was very interesting. I was impressed with what the person was doing with those gloves. I ask one of them if i could have one and I detected a bit of annoyance in his response, but he gave me short one, it was pretty amazing while it lasted! I noticed later on, a lot of the guys giving light shows to people going around and asking a lot of girls, specifically, if they would like one. Maybe that had something to do with him seeming a bit annoyed?
I head up this ramp, and didn't know that was where the seats were. I didn't want the seats, so I decided to go back down. Running down that ramp was fucking amazing. I see a group of people joined at the shoulder running up and down it together, haha. This music in this spot is more like the last one, and it seems more like my style. How perfect that I am rolling hard now. Extremely fucking hard, and not peaking. You bump into people and they bump all over you. Everyone is all smiles, very nice, apologetic when clumsy, generally projecting a good vibe. Close to the stage and I'm dancing. If you can call it that. ;p. I'm dancing my ass off. I bump into a girl and pat her on the shoulder as an apology. She screams something in my ear but I couldn't hear a word. "WHAT!?" "On the count of three, lets scream." She counts down with her fingers, and we did. I let out the loudest and longest howl of my life. By the time i was done there was a break in the song. We held hands up in the air for a bit. I can't remember for sure, but I swear she counted down with the beat and we screamed just as it started. That's the exact feeling that was going through my body, if that makes sense. I did lots of screaming that night, I felt like "Peak King"
I'm sweating bullets, and have fun rubbing it all over my face and head. Decided to chill out for a bit. I'm clumsy as fuck. Tripping over everyone. At one point I actually fell over a couple who were half-laying down. They were pretty damn close to the stage, i have to say, and didn't have any glow sticks or anything... The dude seemed a bit upset, but was forgiving. I felt like an ass. This one dude asked me if I wanted a drink of his water, which I politely declined, because i still had some of my own. At one point I found this weird little piece of wire poking out of my arm. I got kind of paranoid that someone had dosed me with something...but if they did there either wasn't enough or it didn't get into my blood. I dunno, it just seems like a strange little object, like a very thin staple with a coil at the end.
These two guys were pointing at something, and I went to see. We were looking in one of the vip sections and were all pretty stoked to see they had beds lined up for them. haha! One of them was like ."Youre fucking rolling!" His pupils were huge. "Hell yea! You are too!!!" High five, exchanged names. I chatted very briefly with a lot of people throughout the nite. And even though it's short, it's really great to connect with people you don't know in that way, like they're family.
I take one more round trip around the whole place. I feel good. Everything is beautiful. People are beautiful. It's very weird that there zillions of half naked girls around me, yet sex is not on my mind at all. It's more like, 'damn that creature is fucking beautiful!', but i'm not thinking of fucking or anything. I'm all smiles, and whenever i meet eyes with someone, we kind of speak with each other even don't even talk.
I'm on the western most side again, and someone giving a couple a light show just ended, and I immediately asked him if i could have one. I know why it's called a light show now. Cause I've now seen the light. Still peaking. The most beautiful thing I've ever seen/heard? Maybe....I was a bit stunned after he finished. a distant 'thank you man' came out, and as he was about to leave and i said something like. "hey, i am supposed to give you a tip or something?"
.... he laughed and said "no, it should be free."
"ahh, this is my first time at one of these. that was beautiful man!"
we talked music.he's been going to raves for 20 something years, he said. he was telling me how he likes to see the influx of new kids coming into the scene. he talked
some of his old-school rave "morals", i guess you could call them. what it was really about. how the crowd is just as much a part of the show as the dj's. how we're all one. I told him everybody was very nice, and it feels like coming home after being gone for a long time. What stuck with me the most, is when he starting talking about bringing that whole vibe, and attitude towards others outside of all this, and applying it to your life all the time. "and yes your are under the influence of mind altering substances." haha, busted! He asked me if I was aware of the concept of plur. "YES!" I shouted over the music. Gave him the biggest hug ever, said he hoped to see me around. He was my bringer of light..
I walk around some more. Sometimes when I walk past girls, we put our arms out and rub on each other. Especially if we've seen each other around earlier. I really should have went for some more. :D I try dancing at some of the other areas, but I'm just not feeling the music as much. Wanted to go on the swings, but didn't feel like waiting in line. I laid in a grassy area, arms and legs all spread out, making grass-angels or whatever. it felt great. rubbing the sweat around my head with my button up shirt alot. I ended up back in the stadium floor, dancing and making an ass of myself. After a while it's getting a little harder for me to stay on beat. I'm burning up, and I feel myself coming down a bit. I decide to sit down on the outer edge of the wall separating the stage and the dance floor. Talked with this kid, who I can tell his coming down as well. I admired the dancing going on around me, the beautiful girls, the beat still pumping through my body, the lights flashing, I felt at ease. Still chewing my gum like a motherfucker. At one point, I 'realised' that i didn't have my gum in my mouth anymore and ate another, but I had just stopped chewing it and didn't notice it was still in my mouth. I chilled here for most of the comedown. Ate a clif bar.
At this point I really wish I had brought people with me that I knew. I was still talking with people, and still felt really good, but near closing time I was just really wanting to talk with somebody I already knew before. I guess nostalgia was the most domineering feeling. I said somewhere in another thread that it lasted only about 1.5 hours, but in hindsight it was about twice that, but I was having such a good time it went by so fast.
Feeling baseline. Security is starting to force people out. I make my way to my bus stop, which comes in an hour. I'm still feeling good, chatting with a local at the bus stop.One of the security workers was even at the stop.
I ran into a kid on the bus who went, talked for a bit. Got to the train station, and there was a group of kids there who were there. I'm glad too, because I had missed the first train, and we were all there for about 4 hours. Would've gone crazy without people to talk to. We talked about a lot of different things, they showed me how to shuffle. They got caught trying to sneak on the train, I bought them some water. Some managed to get tickets, but there was a pass check and two of them either got arrested, or just kicked off the bus with no way to go home. I was telling one that did get tickets that it was shitty for them to leave their friends like that. One was about to cry... I really wanted to help, but I had 2 dollars in quarters. I was talking alone at one point with the one that was about to cry, and she was telling me about 'rave families', and here they were abandoning her and another guy. It was just a shitty feeling.
I'm exhausted, got some very broken sleep on the train(not because i was still stimulated, but the train is uncomfortable.)
My last bus ride, this cute girl got on the bus. Instead of sitting there forever thinking of something to say, I immediately switched seats right next to her and starting talking with her. I made her anxious at first, it was funny. On the walk home, I was hoping to meet my new neighbors, who aren't in yet but have been working on the house on weekends. One of them was walking up to her house right as I got home. She was very nice. And gorgeous. And married!!
haha. It's been two days. I find myself doing nicer things for people without even thinking about. I feel like my perspective on life has changed in some ways...I've been thinking about saturday night a lot and I still feel very emotional as I run through certain parts of it. I feel the emotion welling up inside of my as I end this...I can't wait for halloween. Thanks for reading, if you got this far.
Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_ecstasy
substancecode_mdma
substancecode_empathogens
explevel_secondtime
exptype_positive
exptype_glowing
roacode_oral
I'm sitting at the bus stop in front of my house. It's 5:55 p.m. "This is stupid, you didn't think this through enough", I'm thinking. My car broke down the day before, and I lost my cell phone the same day. I have 10 dollars in my wallet, and a sack of about 7 dollars in quarters. It's a 4 hour, 3-bus ride to downtown San Bernadino, I'll be alone in a city I am hardly familiar with, and I've never been to a rave before. I haven't even been to a concert without friends before. I'm not even sure I'll have enough money to get back. As the bus rolls around the bend I push any thoughts produced by insecurity and anxiety away. I've already decided to do this, losing my car and being low on cash isn't gonna stop me.
Board bus. 90 mins later, make riverside county tranfser. Bus driver is very cool, a black girl who grew up in the hood, you can hear it in her style of speech. We talk for about 40 mins before I sit down for the rest of the ride. One last bus transfer, and 30 mins later I'm dropped off on x St. About a half an hour walk to my destination. The streets are fuckin empty. I've been to S.B. one other time and it is a very drab city. I keep my eye on the shady characters hanging around little storefront inlets. I'm not about to have my night ruined for letting my awareness slip. Two seperate times while waiting at a crosswalk, some dudes kept yelling shit like "heyy white boy, what the fuck are you doing here." "you fuckin pussy". I ignore them. It's not hard to find the place, I can hear it like half a mile away.
The will call line was long. I'm still kind of nervous, this is all new to me. So instead of chatting up all the gorgeous, barely clothed women around me, I stay low key, just talking a little to the people who approach me. Get my ticket, and head to the porta-potties just outside the gated main entrance and take one pill. Feeling a little more comfortable, so I chat up some of the people I'm in line with. They're bitching about the guy who's patting down people in our line, he was being verrry thorough in comparison with the others. I swear, he felt my stash. I know he did. (i fucked up after i took the first pill, and was a little careless putting it back in place). This guy was tossing joints, cigs, and whatever else he found on people, but he didn't mess with that little baggy. Got through the main gate probably at about 10:45-11ish, head right. I'm already kind of in awe of everything going around me. I lock eyes with the first chick I see, and she smiles deeply at me. I'm still a little nervous, in my head, but I know this is gonna be a fun night.
I head right, and enter a building that contains an impressive display of lights, and a show of all types and sizes of people dancing. I sit down and take it in for a few minutes, admiring the dancing and stilt walkers and lights. The music doesn't really sound like my thing, so I walk outside and go under a giant tent. Everything seems a bit surreal. The random bouts of dance sprouting up throughout the crowd. The massive amount of people. The big circles of dancing going on together. The lights. The gigantic stage. The heat. And of course, the loud music. It's not that the e is kicking in yet, I was only in line for about 20 minutes after dosing. But the whole environment was so new too me.
I walk around for about 10 minutes, checking out the other attractions and the rides on the eastern part. I'm stoked to see a bunch of tags on the walls from some well established writers that have inspired me. I sit on the side of one of the buildings, and about 30 minutes later I followed through with my plan and swallowed the second pill, after chewing it up a bit with my front teeth. It really doesn't taste good, but not as wretched as I have heard often. Get a water. 3 dollars for 20 oz!!
***I sit on a bench bench, walk through some of thee grassy areas, really just looking around for some people i might have known. I feel like I want to dance, but I'm still a feeling a bit self conscious. I feel the come up immediately after standing. Walking is light and breezy. I had planned earlier to try and check out the whole place before I am rolling to hard, so I walk across the map decide to check out the other two main halls. I walk into the one closer to center and when I hear the music, i'm like 'this is it.' I dance for a bit, check out other people dancing even more. Some of the things these people do is highly talented.
I walk around outside a bit more. See a lot of people kneeling down with another person giving them a light show. The hypnotic gaze these people had while this was going one was very interesting. I was impressed with what the person was doing with those gloves. I ask one of them if i could have one and I detected a bit of annoyance in his response, but he gave me short one, it was pretty amazing while it lasted! I noticed later on, a lot of the guys giving light shows to people going around and asking a lot of girls, specifically, if they would like one. Maybe that had something to do with him seeming a bit annoyed?
I head up this ramp, and didn't know that was where the seats were. I didn't want the seats, so I decided to go back down. Running down that ramp was fucking amazing. I see a group of people joined at the shoulder running up and down it together, haha. This music in this spot is more like the last one, and it seems more like my style. How perfect that I am rolling hard now. Extremely fucking hard, and not peaking. You bump into people and they bump all over you. Everyone is all smiles, very nice, apologetic when clumsy, generally projecting a good vibe. Close to the stage and I'm dancing. If you can call it that. ;p. I'm dancing my ass off. I bump into a girl and pat her on the shoulder as an apology. She screams something in my ear but I couldn't hear a word. "WHAT!?" "On the count of three, lets scream." She counts down with her fingers, and we did. I let out the loudest and longest howl of my life. By the time i was done there was a break in the song. We held hands up in the air for a bit. I can't remember for sure, but I swear she counted down with the beat and we screamed just as it started. That's the exact feeling that was going through my body, if that makes sense. I did lots of screaming that night, I felt like "Peak King"
I'm sweating bullets, and have fun rubbing it all over my face and head. Decided to chill out for a bit. I'm clumsy as fuck. Tripping over everyone. At one point I actually fell over a couple who were half-laying down. They were pretty damn close to the stage, i have to say, and didn't have any glow sticks or anything... The dude seemed a bit upset, but was forgiving. I felt like an ass. This one dude asked me if I wanted a drink of his water, which I politely declined, because i still had some of my own. At one point I found this weird little piece of wire poking out of my arm. I got kind of paranoid that someone had dosed me with something...but if they did there either wasn't enough or it didn't get into my blood. I dunno, it just seems like a strange little object, like a very thin staple with a coil at the end.
These two guys were pointing at something, and I went to see. We were looking in one of the vip sections and were all pretty stoked to see they had beds lined up for them. haha! One of them was like ."Youre fucking rolling!" His pupils were huge. "Hell yea! You are too!!!" High five, exchanged names. I chatted very briefly with a lot of people throughout the nite. And even though it's short, it's really great to connect with people you don't know in that way, like they're family.
I take one more round trip around the whole place. I feel good. Everything is beautiful. People are beautiful. It's very weird that there zillions of half naked girls around me, yet sex is not on my mind at all. It's more like, 'damn that creature is fucking beautiful!', but i'm not thinking of fucking or anything. I'm all smiles, and whenever i meet eyes with someone, we kind of speak with each other even don't even talk.
I'm on the western most side again, and someone giving a couple a light show just ended, and I immediately asked him if i could have one. I know why it's called a light show now. Cause I've now seen the light. Still peaking. The most beautiful thing I've ever seen/heard? Maybe....I was a bit stunned after he finished. a distant 'thank you man' came out, and as he was about to leave and i said something like. "hey, i am supposed to give you a tip or something?"
.... he laughed and said "no, it should be free." "ahh, this is my first time at one of these. that was beautiful man!"
we talked music.he's been going to raves for 20 something years, he said. he was telling me how he likes to see the influx of new kids coming into the scene. he talked
some of his old-school rave "morals", i guess you could call them. what it was really about. how the crowd is just as much a part of the show as the dj's. how we're all one. I told him everybody was very nice, and it feels like coming home after being gone for a long time. What stuck with me the most, is when he starting talking about bringing that whole vibe, and attitude towards others outside of all this, and applying it to your life all the time. "and yes your are under the influence of mind altering substances." haha, busted! He asked me if I was aware of the concept of plur. "YES!" I shouted over the music. Gave him the biggest hug ever, said he hoped to see me around. He was my bringer of light..
I walk around some more. Sometimes when I walk past girls, we put our arms out and rub on each other. Especially if we've seen each other around earlier. I really should have went for some more. :D I try dancing at some of the other areas, but I'm just not feeling the music as much. Wanted to go on the swings, but didn't feel like waiting in line. I laid in a grassy area, arms and legs all spread out, making grass-angels or whatever. it felt great. rubbing the sweat around my head with my button up shirt alot. I ended up back in the stadium floor, dancing and making an ass of myself. After a while it's getting a little harder for me to stay on beat. I'm burning up, and I feel myself coming down a bit. I decide to sit down on the outer edge of the wall separating the stage and the dance floor. Talked with this kid, who I can tell his coming down as well. I admired the dancing going on around me, the beautiful girls, the beat still pumping through my body, the lights flashing, I felt at ease. Still chewing my gum like a motherfucker. At one point, I 'realised' that i didn't have my gum in my mouth anymore and ate another, but I had just stopped chewing it and didn't notice it was still in my mouth. I chilled here for most of the comedown. Ate a clif bar.
At this point I really wish I had brought people with me that I knew. I was still talking with people, and still felt really good, but near closing time I was just really wanting to talk with somebody I already knew before. I guess nostalgia was the most domineering feeling. I said somewhere in another thread that it lasted only about 1.5 hours, but in hindsight it was about twice that, but I was having such a good time it went by so fast.
Feeling baseline. Security is starting to force people out. I make my way to my bus stop, which comes in an hour. I'm still feeling good, chatting with a local at the bus stop.One of the security workers was even at the stop.
I ran into a kid on the bus who went, talked for a bit. Got to the train station, and there was a group of kids there who were there. I'm glad too, because I had missed the first train, and we were all there for about 4 hours. Would've gone crazy without people to talk to. We talked about a lot of different things, they showed me how to shuffle. They got caught trying to sneak on the train, I bought them some water. Some managed to get tickets, but there was a pass check and two of them either got arrested, or just kicked off the bus with no way to go home. I was telling one that did get tickets that it was shitty for them to leave their friends like that. One was about to cry... I really wanted to help, but I had 2 dollars in quarters. I was talking alone at one point with the one that was about to cry, and she was telling me about 'rave families', and here they were abandoning her and another guy. It was just a shitty feeling.
I'm exhausted, got some very broken sleep on the train(not because i was still stimulated, but the train is uncomfortable.)
My last bus ride, this cute girl got on the bus. Instead of sitting there forever thinking of something to say, I immediately switched seats right next to her and starting talking with her. I made her anxious at first, it was funny. On the walk home, I was hoping to meet my new neighbors, who aren't in yet but have been working on the house on weekends. One of them was walking up to her house right as I got home. She was very nice. And gorgeous. And married!!
haha. It's been two days. I find myself doing nicer things for people without even thinking about. I feel like my perspective on life has changed in some ways...I've been thinking about saturday night a lot and I still feel very emotional as I run through certain parts of it. I feel the emotion welling up inside of my as I end this...I can't wait for halloween. Thanks for reading, if you got this far.Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_ecstasy
substancecode_mdma
substancecode_empathogens
explevel_secondtime
exptype_positive
exptype_glowing
roacode_oral
Last edited by a moderator:
I love your story, It brought back memories... First rave I went to I was sober and had never taken E, But the vibes were so good It was an awesome experience regardless.
![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
. 
