Misc Eating disorder and food

[Selena248]

Hey everyone!
I’m new and prob posting in the wrong place but felt right.
I’m 34 ( full intro i had just posted today ) so won’t get into it
But I’ve noticed that I can scream out to the world I was a full blown heroin addict for decades yet when it comes to my eating disorder ( specifically bulimia) I can barely admit it.(it’s the shame and just society)
Eating disorders and food in some gives us a high just like drugs. It’s not the same but it is. It’s just not spoken of
I’m finally deciding to take some action. I’m Asian and Asians most of us anyways aren’t naturally thin. We work hard most stars in other countries starve themselves constantly to achieve that look..
for me I’ve had bulimia for 20 years now. It somehow compliments my drug abuse. They some times work well together. Some times they don’t. I’ve used drugs to help me maintain skinny as well as course chasing that high.
I noticed eating disorders is never really mentioned anywhere.
food and an Ed are drugs. You might have your own opinion of it but the same withdrawal and addiction I feel with drugs I feel the same with that.

if you are suffering and you don’t want to reply send me a msg. I’m glad to finally talk about it some more. I’m not giving advice or any of that pro shit so don’t take this the wrong way. I’m here to take a stand and let others know that I see it as a drug and an addiction.
it doesn’t have to be bulimia I’ve also suffered from over eating, anorexia. Over exercising you name it. It’s all the same idea if you think about it. What I throw up I am not only doing it to maintain and lose weight but it’s a high I get out of it. It’s hard to explain to others who have never experienced it. But hey I’m here now. And i’ll try to reply as much as I can. I get my good and bad days

 

[Nurse Ratched]

Hey. Thanks for sharing your story. The struggle with ED's must be so exhausting. I guess any addiction can be that way but when you restrict your diet you are put in even more jeopardy than your average addict that eats. Plus it seems so stigmatized because a lot of the nation is obese and can't imagine NOT eating.

I have seen some excellent documentaries and watched some you tube vids. Always was impressed about how open and honest they could be about their disorder.

You included. Glad you opened up about it.

Stay tuned and others with more life experience will come and chat with you. Welcome aboard.

 

[Selena248]

Hey. Thanks for sharing your story. The struggle with ED's must be so exhausting. I guess any addiction can be that way but when you restrict your diet you are put in even more jeopardy than your average addict that eats. Plus it seems so stigmatized because a lot of the nation is obese and can't imagine NOT eating.

I have seen some excellent documentaries and watched some you tube vids. Always was impressed about how open and honest they could be about their disorder.

You included. Glad you opened up about it.

Stay tuned and others with more life experience will come and chat with you. Welcome aboard.

The struggle with ED can’t even be described. Now I specifically suffer from bulimia for two decades. The harm it’s done to me is well. I basically have almost no teeth left. Combined with drug abuse is just unbearable.
I think there needs to be more awareness of it. A lot of people suffer from ED but it’s not talked about. It’s seen as something very shameful. Oh you’re wasting food. But it’s not something you can control. I really wish I could describe it. I guess one way is that I would rather still be a heroin addict than ever had an eating disorder.

 

[meprobamatedowned]

Hi @Selena248 , let me just say that i relate 100% to your experiences.
I'm a boy, and i've been bulimic for ~10 years with some breaks where i wouldn't eat at all.
But doesn't it make sense? Food is addiction, food and eating is dopamine flooding in the mesocortical "reward" pathway. It is natural for someone like you or me who suffer from drug addiction, to suffer from food addiction too.

In fact i think we just suffer from "addiction". The addiction to everything we can find to make this life a bit less harsh. And just like opiates, binge eating, then puking, then not eating for a day or two (or whatever is your bulimic cycle) is never going anywhere happy.

I feel you, I'm in the same place. Hell I binged last night, and binged when i woke up today. You're not alone.

 

[Selena248]

Hi @Selena248 , let me just say that i relate 100% to your experiences.
I'm a boy, and i've been bulimic for ~10 years with some breaks where i wouldn't eat at all.
But doesn't it make sense? Food is addiction, food and eating is dopamine flooding in the mesocortical "reward" pathway. It is natural for someone like you or me who suffer from drug addiction, to suffer from food addiction too.

In fact i think we just suffer from "addiction". The addiction to everything we can find to make this life a bit less harsh. And just like opiates, binge eating, then puking, then not eating for a day or two (or whatever is your bulimic cycle) is never going anywhere happy.

I feel you, I'm in the same place. Hell I binged last night, and binged when i woke up today. You're not alone.

I just want to give you a huge hug. The fact that you’re male and able to admit it shows me that you’re way stronger than I could ever be. Society esp with males and ED is just absolutely ridiculous. There’s that stigma where oh boys can’t have EDs. It’s pathetic and makes me mad. I want you to know that you can contact me if you wanted to talk
I used to have a pretty popular IG page until I realized it was doing more harm than recovery. It happens to more people than anyone can imagine. We just simply ignore it or say oh he’s fine.
the thing with food is we require food to live. It’s like being addicted to air. How does someone go on normally if addicted to something that we require. Thank you for being brave and sharing your story

 

[meprobamatedowned]

I just want to give you a huge hug. The fact that you’re male and able to admit it shows me that you’re way stronger than I could ever be. Society esp with males and ED is just absolutely ridiculous. There’s that stigma where oh boys can’t have EDs. It’s pathetic and makes me mad. I want you to know that you can contact me if you wanted to talk
I used to have a pretty popular IG page until I realized it was doing more harm than recovery. It happens to more people than anyone can imagine. We just simply ignore it or say oh he’s fine.
the thing with food is we require food to live. It’s like being addicted to air. How does someone go on normally if addicted to something that we require. Thank you for being brave and sharing your story

much much love thank you for your kind words !
Maybe i can help you somehow.
And it's real, food is like air, but we are not addicted to the food itself it's the feeling it gives you right ? the fact of eating is in itself taking care of yourself. And we make it a disease

 

[Selena248]

much much love thank you for your kind words !
Maybe i can help you somehow.
And it's real, food is like air, but we are not addicted to the food itself it's the feeling it gives you right ? the fact of eating is in itself taking care of yourself. And we make it a disease

After 20 years I don’t even know what I’m addicted to. It seems like you’re younger than me from your other posts. If you are (34) please don’t get to my point. I’m beggging you get help. The damage of drugs added on is incredible. Once upon a time I used to feel like a person. Now I’m just I don’t know. What are we addicted to? I mean we have to eat right. But it’s the high we get. What type of Ed do you suffer from. If you want to msg me that’s fine as well

 

[RedRum OG]

Find your underlying issues. Drugs and eating disorders are only symptoms. Maybe its anxiety, bipolar, borderline, autism, PTSD, etc... there are many possibilities. You probably have a lifetime worth of issues to untangle. It can be very hard to get a clear picture in the midst of the struggle. It took me over a decade to figure out I had problems other than addiction and anxiety, and they were very significant in hindsight.

 

[FungusHead]

Find your underlying issues. Drugs and eating disorders are only symptoms. Maybe its anxiety, bipolar, borderline, PTSD, etc... there are many possibilities.

I recognize your point and how it is likely applicable to many, and that there are many unanswered questions when it comes to both eating disorders and substance use disorders. Likewise, many interventions and cases we hear about in popular culture involve shortterm instances, and focus on young people who have experienced these things for only a few years, rather than say a 45-year-old person, perhaps over 30-years post onset.

Additionally, there is no doubt central underlying factors typically exist, ones that predispose, precipitate, and perpetuate symptoms and behavioral manifestations. Predisposition is inherent in the formation of these disorders and their characteristics along with what motivates behavior.

It all affects the resources and abilities of a person to utilize coping mechanisms and their capacity for stress beyond the disorder. Various traumas tend to predict a longer, more enduring and severe course, so there is no doubt they are both often linked, but I think that often with both types of disorders they go on regardless of the individuals efforts and identified underlying conditions.

An individual’s genetics, gender, age, goals and attitude, personality, culture, and environment affect the behavioral aspects of both, and precipitating components, associated with the onset of the illness, such as those that are biological, psychological, social, or environmental, are considered critical as they affect symptoms. Perpetuating conditions such as psychiatric illness and instability that maintain the disabling symptoms of the illness are worth understanding. Eating disorders also co-occur with substance use disorders fairly often.

It is critical to emphasize that the factors that sustain both substance use disorders and eating disorders are typically distinct from those that contributed to their initial development, some may persist-- like you mention, we often think we possess more insight into our problems than we really do.

Eating disorders and SUDs feel very similar, and for example, in chronic AN (which about 20% of persons who have AN, go on to develop) it is hypothesized that certain endogenous opioids become subject to dysfunction and neurotransmitters implicated in regulation allowing for “normal” living get fucked up.

Overtime that sort of thing is part of the persistent nature of various SUDs, so there may be neurobiological reasons they feel similar.

While I am not articulating this well-- I think given how much things like opioid dependence can fuck up your opioid receptors when you go hard for like 20 years, meaning if you stop you may need MAT for maintenance to achieve normal, and many things contribute, and those who go on to develop chronic eating disorders regardless of evidence-based based treatment and prior identification of significant medical and psychiatric comorbidities (sometimes resulting, but often co-occuring), it may be different.

For some people, I am not sure how symptomatic either one is at some point. In part, it may be that there are not sufficient external resources to address these things, but it also seems like some people make effort and truly exhaust every option. Then at the end of the day there is no clear option that allows them to decrease great distress to the point they can mobilize what resources they have and with both it's more like a clear separate disorder the longer it lasts.

Like sometimes it seems as if it becomes its own entity rather than perhaps an unhealthy pattern or symptom of something else used in brief/consciously.