Like the posts above, I'll say no. Pretty much you've got a seriously habit or you don't do it.
Like I wrote even seriously bad health problems don't seem to stop most ( me). I've known plenty who've smoked themselves into their graves.
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EADD Heroin thread v.XXV -- a quarter centuary of threads if not yet a full decade since the 'drought'...
- Thread starter Wilson Wilson
- Start date
Like I wrote even seriously bad health problems don't seem to stop most ( me). I've known plenty who've smoked themselves into their graves.
It is,. I'm in the extremely vulnerable group and my employer lets us stay home when govt advises.
Hasn't done me any favours to be honest. Smoking gear so much more than I would if working.
Got to be 80%++ of long time chasers round me got COPD or worse( oxygen tanks ).
I feel like I am on the precipice of using heroin. A precipice is a 'cliff edge', so the only way is down, and from reading the last couple of pages, it does seem like you guys would advise against it. So I feel 'precipice' is the correct word, but please, let me tell you why I'm seriously considering it.
I had a good but stressful job until Christmas. I was picking up just under £1000 per week, and I worked in a team where I was popular. But I could not take it anymore. There were two stressors.
1. Being at home alone rather than in an office led to me neglecting my work; my work was becoming poor, and the lack of any real human interaction was really doing me in. I had to give it up. So I have been unemployed since Christmas. Living off my savings. Of course, the issue of no human reaction has continued, and I have no sleep pattern at all.
I'm lucky to get a few hours sleep every 72 hours. I've tried Zopiclone, which I believe gave me the most horrendous headache in the world. Having said that, I have been taking a cocktail of other drugs and having a headache has not gone away, although it is not as bad as after the Zopiclone, which was unbearable.
2. The other stressor is PAIN. Physical and mental pain. I have a herniated disc in my back, which brings me a lot of pain, but I now wake up with pain all over my body, especially in my elbow and knee joints, and I also have constant aches all over my body. And now I have these constant HEADACHES that are driving me crazy.
I have been purchasing tramadol and dihydrocodeine for about 18 months; taking it for the PAIN caused by my herniated disc. My doses vary, especially now I am unemployed but you are looking at a minimum of 100mg tramadol and 60 - 120mg of dihydrocodeine. I don't think these are particularly high doses? I have done the odd 300mg of dihydrocodeine, which provides a 'high' of sorts.
I'm also very depressed. A bachelor at 37, who has never been able to keep a girlfriend for more than five minutes. I believe I will die as a bachelor. I haven't really seen anyone in person since Christmas, and I don't even really want to.
People are getting excited about the prospect of returning to pubs so they can go out, get bladdered, and wake up with a painful hangover. I also used to love doing that, but not any more. I think the whole 'Friday night' thing is shite, especially now that I can't have sex because of the herniated disc in my back. I now hate going out with other people! I can't stand it. It definitely does not make me happy. It's not something I'm looking forward to.
Finally, I have fallen out with my sister, who is all I have family wise. At Christmas, I promised to give her £40,000 to help her get a 4 bedroom house for her and her three children. She responded by calling me 2 or 3 times per day for almost two months, and ultimately she became very rude and inpatient. She was demanding to know why I hadn't facilitated the house move yesterday, whilst paying no regard to the complexities of doing so during a lockdown, and she demonstrated ZERO empathy about my own difficulties.
I snapped, and I was very abrupt in telling her that she is being a selfish cow! I was then told to fuck off, and never contact her again. Apparently, my offer was a bullshit crazy scheme that was never going to happen anyway, and my pain issues are all in my head! She has always been incredibly self-centred, but to me I was effectively being told that my issues don't matter at all, and I'm a cunt because I haven't sorted her out with a 4 bedroom house already. She hasn't called since, which has exacerbated my loneliness. But I'm simply not prepared to deal with that level of selfishness. So I have little-to-no intention of calling her either.
I have become suicidal. The physical pain is often excruciating, and the idea of continuing to live with this pain is just not appealing at all. I wish to be PAIN FREE! On top of that there are feelings of loneliness and real despair. I keep asking how much more can I take? How much longer is this going to go on for? I'm 13 years off being 50 years old. The idea of living with this pain for another 13 years is grotesque. The idea of carrying on beyond the age of 50 just seems totally unrealistic to me! As if!
In conclusion, why should I not try one of the best pain killers known to man?
So you end up clucking and they give you methadone, right? Well, you go on drugs.com and the reviews for methadone as a pain killer, for people with back pain and the like are pretty good: https://www.drugs.com/comments/methadone/for-chronic-pain.html My only concern is a reference to how methadone can effect the heart, having had issues with palpitations in the past.
But I'm at my wits end. I dream of being pain free. So why not use some proper painkillers rather than shit like tramadol and dihydrocodeine, which simply isn't doing the trick at all?
I had a good but stressful job until Christmas. I was picking up just under £1000 per week, and I worked in a team where I was popular. But I could not take it anymore. There were two stressors.
1. Being at home alone rather than in an office led to me neglecting my work; my work was becoming poor, and the lack of any real human interaction was really doing me in. I had to give it up. So I have been unemployed since Christmas. Living off my savings. Of course, the issue of no human reaction has continued, and I have no sleep pattern at all.
I'm lucky to get a few hours sleep every 72 hours. I've tried Zopiclone, which I believe gave me the most horrendous headache in the world. Having said that, I have been taking a cocktail of other drugs and having a headache has not gone away, although it is not as bad as after the Zopiclone, which was unbearable.
2. The other stressor is PAIN. Physical and mental pain. I have a herniated disc in my back, which brings me a lot of pain, but I now wake up with pain all over my body, especially in my elbow and knee joints, and I also have constant aches all over my body. And now I have these constant HEADACHES that are driving me crazy.
I have been purchasing tramadol and dihydrocodeine for about 18 months; taking it for the PAIN caused by my herniated disc. My doses vary, especially now I am unemployed but you are looking at a minimum of 100mg tramadol and 60 - 120mg of dihydrocodeine. I don't think these are particularly high doses? I have done the odd 300mg of dihydrocodeine, which provides a 'high' of sorts.
I'm also very depressed. A bachelor at 37, who has never been able to keep a girlfriend for more than five minutes. I believe I will die as a bachelor. I haven't really seen anyone in person since Christmas, and I don't even really want to.
People are getting excited about the prospect of returning to pubs so they can go out, get bladdered, and wake up with a painful hangover. I also used to love doing that, but not any more. I think the whole 'Friday night' thing is shite, especially now that I can't have sex because of the herniated disc in my back. I now hate going out with other people! I can't stand it. It definitely does not make me happy. It's not something I'm looking forward to.
Finally, I have fallen out with my sister, who is all I have family wise. At Christmas, I promised to give her £40,000 to help her get a 4 bedroom house for her and her three children. She responded by calling me 2 or 3 times per day for almost two months, and ultimately she became very rude and inpatient. She was demanding to know why I hadn't facilitated the house move yesterday, whilst paying no regard to the complexities of doing so during a lockdown, and she demonstrated ZERO empathy about my own difficulties.
I snapped, and I was very abrupt in telling her that she is being a selfish cow! I was then told to fuck off, and never contact her again. Apparently, my offer was a bullshit crazy scheme that was never going to happen anyway, and my pain issues are all in my head! She has always been incredibly self-centred, but to me I was effectively being told that my issues don't matter at all, and I'm a cunt because I haven't sorted her out with a 4 bedroom house already. She hasn't called since, which has exacerbated my loneliness. But I'm simply not prepared to deal with that level of selfishness. So I have little-to-no intention of calling her either.
I have become suicidal. The physical pain is often excruciating, and the idea of continuing to live with this pain is just not appealing at all. I wish to be PAIN FREE! On top of that there are feelings of loneliness and real despair. I keep asking how much more can I take? How much longer is this going to go on for? I'm 13 years off being 50 years old. The idea of living with this pain for another 13 years is grotesque. The idea of carrying on beyond the age of 50 just seems totally unrealistic to me! As if!
In conclusion, why should I not try one of the best pain killers known to man?
So you end up clucking and they give you methadone, right? Well, you go on drugs.com and the reviews for methadone as a pain killer, for people with back pain and the like are pretty good: https://www.drugs.com/comments/methadone/for-chronic-pain.html My only concern is a reference to how methadone can effect the heart, having had issues with palpitations in the past.
But I'm at my wits end. I dream of being pain free. So why not use some proper painkillers rather than shit like tramadol and dihydrocodeine, which simply isn't doing the trick at all?
ageingpartyfiend
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People will soon answer your questions no doubt.
Heroin would help the pain short term , but will facilitate a medium/longterm nightmare beyond your present awareness
A good deal to make with yourself at this point would be to commit to at least a couple of months of weekly therapy before your first dose?
What have you got to lose?
LoginNotSecure
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Have you had any proper physiotherapy? (I say proper, not the shite the nhs will fob you off with, which will be a quick meeting, and a print out of some exercises to do at home)
If you can (allegedly) afford to borrow £40k, get yourself booked in for at least a months worth of physio and actually listen to what they tell you do, and actually do what they tell you to do, follow the exercises, and start from there.
https://totalphysio.co.uk/book-an-appointment/ - these are open throughout COVID and can be highly recommended.
I also feel it’s a little less to do with being “popular” at work, and more to do with having a circle of people you can talk too. Where are your friends outside of your work circle? If you struggle meeting people, I can highly recommend an app/website called MeetUp. It’s where you can whack in your hobbies and interests and join groups based on that, they often meet up to do said activities, and even social food and drinks.
That’s obviously taken a back seat at the moment, but lots of them are still meeting online via the various group things like zoom, skype, ms teams etc.
I think once you are pain and drug free, the rest will fall into place.
If you can (allegedly) afford to borrow £40k, get yourself booked in for at least a months worth of physio and actually listen to what they tell you do, and actually do what they tell you to do, follow the exercises, and start from there.
https://totalphysio.co.uk/book-an-appointment/ - these are open throughout COVID and can be highly recommended.
I also feel it’s a little less to do with being “popular” at work, and more to do with having a circle of people you can talk too. Where are your friends outside of your work circle? If you struggle meeting people, I can highly recommend an app/website called MeetUp. It’s where you can whack in your hobbies and interests and join groups based on that, they often meet up to do said activities, and even social food and drinks.
That’s obviously taken a back seat at the moment, but lots of them are still meeting online via the various group things like zoom, skype, ms teams etc.
I think once you are pain and drug free, the rest will fall into place.
Nope. Right by Heathrow.
That's very good money. So many jobs are £9 ph or less , even here in West London.
I'm 52 unmarried,no kids. And I'm cool with that. But I found my 40s my lousiest decade. You're still thinking about settling down and having kids. About 50 I was fairly content with the way my life is. Least I don't have to worry about kids futures, finances etc.
Don't describe yourself as a ' bachelor' I always think of pre 1960s when I picture one.
Lots have strained relationship with siblings. I'm talking not speaking to them for 5+ years , even though they still live together.
I don't know your finances but 40k£ i can imagine ending up causing grief. You're " giving it to her" ???
Why not indeed, if the alternative is a methadone habit.
Personally I think heroin is more than just a painkiller. It can help with depression, anxiety. But it will never be given a chance to see if it would help by governments. Like you said, happy to give you crappy methadone instead which very few would choose if heroin was prescribed.
Sorry, I'm not trying to downplay your feelings.
At least you have a valued workskill.
Zopiclone bandit
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That damn fine "scabby" stuff with a bottle of Strawberry 20/20 (cause I'm a fag like that folks)
The white today was ok but this gear is yummy yummy, fish tasting smoke held down deep till hits my tummy.
Got my itch on too for once & I still got a good .4 left in Rizla. Had some left over from yesterday & it's sssooo good to wake up & begin smoking right away with a cuppa tea & roll up. With any luck I'll not make it till 9pm tonight, gonna have my head in my lap, covered in roll up ash & have a tooter hanging limp from my lips.
The white today was ok but this gear is yummy yummy, fish tasting smoke held down deep till hits my tummy.
Got my itch on too for once & I still got a good .4 left in Rizla. Had some left over from yesterday & it's sssooo good to wake up & begin smoking right away with a cuppa tea & roll up. With any luck I'll not make it till 9pm tonight, gonna have my head in my lap, covered in roll up ash & have a tooter hanging limp from my lips.
Zopiclone bandit
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F.U.B.A.R.
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Never thought I'd get stalked by a gay baghead...
Zopiclone bandit
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LoginNotSecure
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Ha, I actually watched that film on netflix last night. It hasn't aged well.
Zopiclone bandit
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Smoking good white from 9:30am till 11:50am as some CV people rang then you gotta talk to them & do stuff online ISN'T good.
Also got kicked off a cam website as I was tweaking so bad & couldn't pick a single girl to watch for more than 1 minute I was kicked off.
FML & fuck dumb porn sites too, like nobody ever done meth & couldn't pick one girl. Maybe If the women were better looking it may solve the issue.
Also got kicked off a cam website as I was tweaking so bad & couldn't pick a single girl to watch for more than 1 minute I was kicked off.
FML & fuck dumb porn sites too, like nobody ever done meth & couldn't pick one girl. Maybe If the women were better looking it may solve the issue.
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Chaturbate is your answer 
Zopiclone bandit
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Chaturbate is your answer
Pervert
steewith2ees
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I'm rekt. I have really missed Bluelight but, as my posting in this thread highlights - I have nothing left to say with regards to any constructive or content and with my making an active OT post in this thread in particular, shows that 6 1/2 years into a relapse I have no longer have the right to use the generally enriching and engaging challenges of being a BL volunteer to present myself as someone who's advice is hr focused. One has to practise what they preach and having gotten no where in years I have become so isolated I have little to know idea of whats gwarning in the drug market outside of the crap I am still buying. The weed remains amazing but I am still scoring those high class items every couple of weeks for the purposes of boredom relief only and the last couple of occasions are the first time I have enthused about the horse in a long time. I have italicised a grammar fuck up on the second line as looking back it marks the point at which I nodded out after starting this post about 5 hours ago. I know I have to try harder but at the moment my drug use is the best thing I have going.
F.U.B.A.R.
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Good to see you back Stee!!
Zopiclone bandit
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More Bupe today.......
Zopiclone bandit
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