bluedolphin
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Feb 19, 2003
- Messages
- 6,062
The following is a two part report. The first part is an attempted Live Report, which as it turned out I was unable to finish. The second part is from the next day, and explains why.
Hey all, I thought tonight would be a good night for some meditation and relaxation. Maybe we'll throw in an out of body experience (or several) for good luck. This is my first time writing a report during the trip, so we'll see how it goes =)
I've done DXM plenty of times, and this is my normal dose of 4 oz Robitussin Max Strength Cough (DXM only). It is 354 mg DXM. I also plan on smoking some herb later. Should be fun!
12:00am--------------------------------
Tastes like shit as usual. I'm gonna fire up Fear and Loathing and watch that until I feel like doing something else.
12:05am--------------------------------
I can already feel a very slight buzz. Possibly just the wee bit of alcohol in the bottle but I don't think so =)
1:15am----------------------------------
Time to check in again I suppose. Fear and Loathing, as always, sets the perfect mood for the trip ahead. My favorite quote in the movie is this:
"There's a big machine in the sky, some kind of electric snake coming right at us."
"Shoot it!"
"Not yet, I want to study its habits."
That is pure genius. Nothing accurately captures the psychedelic thought process like Fear and Loathing.
Both my parents came in my room a few minutes ago, and I passed "the test".
As I have learned before, 354mg of DXM does not always equal 354mg of DXM. That is, sometimes it can be exceptionally strong. I can already tell that this is one of those times. It is relatively early in the trip to be 2nd plateau. Enough babble for now.
2:10am----------------------------------
I forgot to mention about an hour ago that there were already mild perceptual distortions. Right now I'm taking care to type coherently and spell correctly. I just turned the brightness on my monitor down all the way. I know I have another 1:30 before the peak begins to manifest itself.
2:45am------------------------------------
no idea where the last 35 minutes went... trying to refocus
Put some Brian Eno on surround sound in my room, its very calming. Things are swaying with the ambient music (visually, as well as thoughts).
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The rest of this report was written after I woke up the next day.
Wow, where to start? Well I guess I'll start where I left off last night. Around 3:15am I smoked two small bowls of some potent buds. In the past smoking herb on DXM has always kicked it up a level. And after smoking these two small bowls I was definitely very high and the DXM was very strong (by far the most I've tripped off one 4oz Max Cough).
Afterwards I was enveloped in visuals. Everything in my room was melting and swaying like it was caught in a breeze. Parts of my room would melt together and form other objects. The body buzz was very strong.
So I laid back on my bed, closed my eyes, listening to the Brian Eno I had put on a little earlier. The CEV's were intense, photorealistic, and told stories about my life. As I lay in bed, I had a strong sensation that both myself and the bed were bending, twisting, and sliding around the room. I even bent around so that my head seemed to reach my toes. I was having a great time. I was breaking into the third plateau, where I would spend the next couple of hours.
But then I noticed something was wrong. My heart was practically jumping out of my chest, beating hard and fast! My resting pulse right now is about 65bpm, but last night it reached about 130bpm. I could tell my heart was beating faster and harder than it normally would, even if I had engaged in lots of exercise. From this point begins the most frightening experience of my life.
For a moment I started to panic. I wondered if there was anything around the house that could sedate me somehow. But I also worried that mixing anything with my current condition could be very bad. I decided I would need to wait it out. Remember I am tripping very hard at this point. I suspect my liver was on holiday last night. What really sucked was that I noticed that if I tried to relax and meditate, I would get caught up in the intensity of the trip almost immediately, and my heart would race even faster! So I did my best to relax while maintaining an ounce of sobriety.
Then I felt it. My left arm was beginning to tingle. Then it would feel heavy and like pins and needles. At this point I thought there was a good chance that I was fucked. All I knew was that this was a symptom of a heart attack about to happen. By this point I was repeating aloud the words "Breathe down, Breathe strong" over and over again in an attempt to calm myself and remain focused at the same time. I had my hand pressed against my raging heart the whole time.
Then I felt death creep into my body. It started with my throat becoming dry starting from the inside up, and I couldn't swallow, like I was choking on the air in the room. My left arm would continue to tingle, and the rest of my body felt cold. At one point, though I felt cold, I broke out in a sweat.
[ to make things worse, my chair morphed into the image of "death" ]
Each time this happened I would stand up (though I was about to collapse) just to convince myself of my own strength. If I was going to die I was going to go down with a good fight.
This happened many times, but these effects would always subside again for a little while, although my heart was still racing out of control. One time when these deathly effects came on extra strong, and I thought there was a good chance I would bite the dust any second, I began to pray out loud. I am not a man of organized faith, but I was begging God to spare my life. I was not in a panic because I thought if I allowed that to happen the excitement could literally kill me.
I spoke the word: "Jesus"
Immediately I felt some kind of healing pass though me. I stopped sweating.
"Jesus!"
The cold tingly sensation left my body.
"Jesus!"
Death retreated from my throat.
"Jesus!"
My left arm stopped tingling.
Needless to say, I was in complete awe. It was about 3:45am at this point, and I felt that if I made it to 4:00am I would survive the night. I checked my pulse again: 110bpm. Still very high for me, but 20 less than before.
But then the effects came back. I felt that God was saying "Now that you've accepted me, you're ready to join me."
This freaked me out. I began giving my case to God as to why he should let me continue to live. I think the one convincing reason (that I felt was accepted by God) was because it would be terribly unfair to cause my wonderful girlfriend such greif because of my stupidity.
From that point until 5:30am my heart gradually calmed down and the other deathly effects gradually went away. As the sun rose and I saw the light of a new day outside I felt like I was reborn and given a fresh chance.
As far as the trip itself goes, at 5:30, around when I fell asleep, I was still having moderate OEV's. The clouds in the morning sky were changing colors, and moving quite freely around in the sky changing shapes and such. Fortunately I was tired enough that the CEV's melded with my dreams.
I'm not going to try to come up with some "moral of the story". The experience is too fresh for that, besides, right now I'm just happy to be alive.
Hey all, I thought tonight would be a good night for some meditation and relaxation. Maybe we'll throw in an out of body experience (or several) for good luck. This is my first time writing a report during the trip, so we'll see how it goes =)
I've done DXM plenty of times, and this is my normal dose of 4 oz Robitussin Max Strength Cough (DXM only). It is 354 mg DXM. I also plan on smoking some herb later. Should be fun!
12:00am--------------------------------
Tastes like shit as usual. I'm gonna fire up Fear and Loathing and watch that until I feel like doing something else.
12:05am--------------------------------
I can already feel a very slight buzz. Possibly just the wee bit of alcohol in the bottle but I don't think so =)
1:15am----------------------------------
Time to check in again I suppose. Fear and Loathing, as always, sets the perfect mood for the trip ahead. My favorite quote in the movie is this:
"There's a big machine in the sky, some kind of electric snake coming right at us."
"Shoot it!"
"Not yet, I want to study its habits."
That is pure genius. Nothing accurately captures the psychedelic thought process like Fear and Loathing.
Both my parents came in my room a few minutes ago, and I passed "the test".
As I have learned before, 354mg of DXM does not always equal 354mg of DXM. That is, sometimes it can be exceptionally strong. I can already tell that this is one of those times. It is relatively early in the trip to be 2nd plateau. Enough babble for now.
2:10am----------------------------------
I forgot to mention about an hour ago that there were already mild perceptual distortions. Right now I'm taking care to type coherently and spell correctly. I just turned the brightness on my monitor down all the way. I know I have another 1:30 before the peak begins to manifest itself.
2:45am------------------------------------
no idea where the last 35 minutes went... trying to refocus
Put some Brian Eno on surround sound in my room, its very calming. Things are swaying with the ambient music (visually, as well as thoughts).
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The rest of this report was written after I woke up the next day.
Wow, where to start? Well I guess I'll start where I left off last night. Around 3:15am I smoked two small bowls of some potent buds. In the past smoking herb on DXM has always kicked it up a level. And after smoking these two small bowls I was definitely very high and the DXM was very strong (by far the most I've tripped off one 4oz Max Cough).
Afterwards I was enveloped in visuals. Everything in my room was melting and swaying like it was caught in a breeze. Parts of my room would melt together and form other objects. The body buzz was very strong.
So I laid back on my bed, closed my eyes, listening to the Brian Eno I had put on a little earlier. The CEV's were intense, photorealistic, and told stories about my life. As I lay in bed, I had a strong sensation that both myself and the bed were bending, twisting, and sliding around the room. I even bent around so that my head seemed to reach my toes. I was having a great time. I was breaking into the third plateau, where I would spend the next couple of hours.
But then I noticed something was wrong. My heart was practically jumping out of my chest, beating hard and fast! My resting pulse right now is about 65bpm, but last night it reached about 130bpm. I could tell my heart was beating faster and harder than it normally would, even if I had engaged in lots of exercise. From this point begins the most frightening experience of my life.
For a moment I started to panic. I wondered if there was anything around the house that could sedate me somehow. But I also worried that mixing anything with my current condition could be very bad. I decided I would need to wait it out. Remember I am tripping very hard at this point. I suspect my liver was on holiday last night. What really sucked was that I noticed that if I tried to relax and meditate, I would get caught up in the intensity of the trip almost immediately, and my heart would race even faster! So I did my best to relax while maintaining an ounce of sobriety.
Then I felt it. My left arm was beginning to tingle. Then it would feel heavy and like pins and needles. At this point I thought there was a good chance that I was fucked. All I knew was that this was a symptom of a heart attack about to happen. By this point I was repeating aloud the words "Breathe down, Breathe strong" over and over again in an attempt to calm myself and remain focused at the same time. I had my hand pressed against my raging heart the whole time.
Then I felt death creep into my body. It started with my throat becoming dry starting from the inside up, and I couldn't swallow, like I was choking on the air in the room. My left arm would continue to tingle, and the rest of my body felt cold. At one point, though I felt cold, I broke out in a sweat.
[ to make things worse, my chair morphed into the image of "death" ]
Each time this happened I would stand up (though I was about to collapse) just to convince myself of my own strength. If I was going to die I was going to go down with a good fight.
This happened many times, but these effects would always subside again for a little while, although my heart was still racing out of control. One time when these deathly effects came on extra strong, and I thought there was a good chance I would bite the dust any second, I began to pray out loud. I am not a man of organized faith, but I was begging God to spare my life. I was not in a panic because I thought if I allowed that to happen the excitement could literally kill me.
I spoke the word: "Jesus"
Immediately I felt some kind of healing pass though me. I stopped sweating.
"Jesus!"
The cold tingly sensation left my body.
"Jesus!"
Death retreated from my throat.
"Jesus!"
My left arm stopped tingling.
Needless to say, I was in complete awe. It was about 3:45am at this point, and I felt that if I made it to 4:00am I would survive the night. I checked my pulse again: 110bpm. Still very high for me, but 20 less than before.
But then the effects came back. I felt that God was saying "Now that you've accepted me, you're ready to join me."
This freaked me out. I began giving my case to God as to why he should let me continue to live. I think the one convincing reason (that I felt was accepted by God) was because it would be terribly unfair to cause my wonderful girlfriend such greif because of my stupidity.
From that point until 5:30am my heart gradually calmed down and the other deathly effects gradually went away. As the sun rose and I saw the light of a new day outside I felt like I was reborn and given a fresh chance.
As far as the trip itself goes, at 5:30, around when I fell asleep, I was still having moderate OEV's. The clouds in the morning sky were changing colors, and moving quite freely around in the sky changing shapes and such. Fortunately I was tired enough that the CEV's melded with my dreams.
I'm not going to try to come up with some "moral of the story". The experience is too fresh for that, besides, right now I'm just happy to be alive.
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