drunken nights blurr your face* but i still see you

[goodnitestar]

the night before,
such a concentrated blurr
of incapable hands
pushing so hard
bottle opener to cap
breaking that dam thing in half
walking through to many familiar faces
who dont remember this little beauty
on the fourth beer in a hour
i realized i was
chain drinking
forcing the feeling to free the certainty
of your empty soul
stumbling and searching
for a way to make you think i belong here
sure
i know these strangers
theres a reason that i walked into your house
knowing you werent yet home
invited
and i see i dont know who your trying to be anymore
standing in your room , sizing up the pictures on your door
and i see my face a few times
and i try so hard to see
as you pull me into that same section
of misery
where i feel smaller than your dick
near invisible
~ and you are still longing with every stinging word for me to hate you, to spit upon your very face
showing my disturbance
as im drunk i walk back out , and then in again
just like this relationship
in and out of a love
with a lie
and a smile
as you like to play doctor and bandage me up , and moments later
tear off every bandage and pour in buckets of salt
into each bleeding open wound

 

[*Cosmic Mist*]

I don't know what to say - i relate, and like i'm sure everyone else will tell/has told you - it will pass.
I love your signature btw... i used to live by that philosophy... i can't now though - i'm just too damned cynical.
Smile - things can only get better...