Alcohol, because I'm a really horrible drunk, after I've had one drink I have a hard time controlling myself and not getting completely wasted, and the hangover is the worst.
People who get hangovers—oh, how I pity them.
Weed because it gives me way too much anxiety.
For me, it seems about 8/10 times cannabis is nothing more than a panic attack in a plant. I'm not sure why, however.
Benzos because I just hate the high, I can't pinpoint why I hate the high so much but it makes me feel too sedated in a way that makes me panic and I feel "trapped" in the high.
Wow. That's fairly odd. One wouldn't think such an adverse effect could arise from the use of benzodiazepines; they're so innocuous and gentle, as GABAergics go.
I remember I used to feel that way when I first started to experiment with barbiturates. The idea that a barbiturate is like the Reaper in a pill had been pumped into my subconscious mind so much that I really did buy the bullshit as it were.
The anti-drug bug got to me so bad that I truly believed I would die the first time I tasted secobarbital. I had hastily given in to my excitement and curiosity, which only transformed into a terribly severe case of regret no more than 10 minutes after swallowing the pills. I had no available treatment for a barbiturate OD at my disposal and it had already been too late to cough them back up, as I had presumed they'd dissolved already and it was but a mere matter of time until I felt them kick in.
I remember I felt so profoundly nonplussed, dismayed, and panicked I honestly thought my extreme anxiety would kill me first, if the drugs didn't get on the job fast enough. It was an immensely dreadful experience.
So dreadful, in fact, that had it not been for the barbiturate's astonishingly effective anxiolysis (which cooled me down and assuaged my death anxiety completely after about 45 or so minutes), I probably would have never tried another downer again.
In fact, it was out of this horribly dreadful experience with barbiturates that I began to love rather than loathe them. It was through the unbelievable effectiveness with which the barbiturate alleviated that same death anxiety it had previously induced that showed me the incredible potential these drugs have. And thus, a love affair now 6 years in the making was born.