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Drugs and your conscience

T

treezy z

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I'm wondering if anyone else has experienced drugs deleteting your conscience.

I did bad things on many drugs, but generally had a twinge of remorse.

On PCP, 3-meo-pcp and to a lesser extent MXP my conscience is erased however.

I get some twisted combination of mania, psychopathy and narcissism that makes me not give a fuck at all.

This lasts for several days after I put the drugs down.

In detox I was yelling shit like

"i'm king kong mixed with godzilla, give me 10 feet mofucka!"

"i'm bulletproof nigga, you need the atf to take me down!"

etc all while walking around crashing into shit acting like I was gonna body people. they gave me a thorazine shot at one point.

I generally try to do the right thing but when I'm dusted? Nah.

https://soundcloud.com/dustmoses/body-a-judge-verse
 
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Do you have any pre-existing mental health conditions? I believe I remember you starting a thread about being schizophrenic, am I mistaken?
 
It's just the drugs numbing your emotions making it so that for the time felt during inebriation and possibly for days before and after the binge or whatever you may wish to call it, you just get the fuck its. I don't care abour anyone or anything when I'm on a bad binge. When I'm sober I care too much. My conscience is profound and often keeps me from doing things I probably should do for the betterment of myself but don't because I am thinking about other people too much. Jekyl and Hyde. It's very real. This is why I generally use drugs but not always. Too mask pain and just not give a fuck. But you always pay for it later, and consequences only become more devastating over time.
 
Oh I see. Do you know anyone else that acts like this on PCP, or any drug for that matter? Also does this only happen when you take dissociatives? What about other drugs?

The only time I've experienced a loss of conscience was back in high school when I would to drink myself into oblivion and do whatever I wanted no matter the consequences. So I guess I can sort of relate. But I always woke up having to apologize to people, and I felt like a total asshole. I hated myself back then, and I would never want to feel so heartless again. I just don't think that sort of loss of control is enjoyable.

Cosmic Giraffe said:
Jekyl and Hyde. It's very real... and consequences only become more devastating over time.
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This is how it felt back when I used to get blackout drunk all the time. It turned me into a completely different person. I'd wake up and people would tell me stories about what I did the night before and I would just be shocked. "I can't believe I did that" was a very common reaction. I'm so lucky my friends were so forgiving.
 
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Pibolar said:
Oh I see. Do you know anyone else that acts like this on PCP, or any drug for that matter? Also does this only happen when you take dissociatives? What about other drugs?

The only time I've experienced a loss of conscience was back in high school when I would to drink myself into oblivion and do whatever I wanted no matter the consequences. So I guess I can sort of relate. But I always woke up having to apologize to people, and I felt like a total asshole. I hated myself back then, and I would never want to feel so heartless again. I just don't think that sort of loss of control is enjoyable.



This is how it felt back when I used to get blackout drunk all the time. It turned me into a completely different person. I'd wake up and people would tell me stories about what I did the night before and I would just be shocked. "I can't believe I did that" was a very common reaction. I'm so lucky my friends were so forgiving.
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I've known one dude who wigs out on dust, goes from normal to yelling at cars in the street blocking traffic and shit. Another who turns from normal to TTG real quick on dust. most people just act like they smoked a pound of weed or something.

Supposedly Sly Stone started collecting weapons and associating with mobsters when he got into PCP (There's A Riot Going On era.)
 
I didn't really develop a conscience until I was probably in my early 30s but when I take my prescribed opiates I start to act fucking crazyand yell Radom weird shit very loudly. I have also done some pretty violent things and threatened many people completely sober but I also have a pretty severe bout of PTSD along with some psychosis.
 
Man, you guys got to just chill. Drugs have only enhanced my conscience and given me different levels to think on
 
Im a dope fiend, tweaker, and alcoholic. Ive been thru my fair share of hells. I enjoy them tho. Drugs aeffect people different tho.
 
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I aint sayin that at all. Drug addiction is a beast. Im just sayin while your high, try and enjoy it. Ive been strung out on a bunch of shit in my life and its no joke. My apologies for the misunderstanding.
 
I'm more likely to speak my mind but my morality is pretty much the same sober or high except I'm more likely to do what I really want to do high. I've never woken up and experienced "oh shit why did I do that" more like "oh shit I exposed the real me I have to stop doing that" and I have. It doesn't matter how high I get I know better than to reveal my emotions or be the real me to anyone. My social anxiety is that bad that I can control myself no matter how fucked up.

Man in the Dark said:
when I take my prescribed opiates I start to act fucking crazyand yell Radom weird shit very loudly.
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I do this too but only if I know I'm alone. It's like I have really bad OCD on opiates and can't stop talking. I'll also mutter to myself quietly. If I know people can hear me though I can stop.
 
Back when I was shooting as much MXE as I could get to dissolve in 1cc of water (quite a bit, you'd be surprised) and was just plain suicidal and not giving a fuck, I'd get blackouts too. When I was around friends they were always so pissed when I came to. Lol.
 
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