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Drug Sabbatical Support & Appreciation Thread

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tribal girl said:
I too have been out of sorts. And whats more, struggling to have a break from the ol' benzos. My anxiety is getting on my fucking nerves. Methinks it's time I faced facts and got myself a shrink. :|
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Counselling helped me loads in getting rid of the underlying anxieties and stresses that had been building in me for years, it really is worth a shot and available on the NHS via GP. Its not quite a shrink as such but its really helpful talking to someone completely neutral about internal issues. I kept them bottled up for so long by smoking tons of weed and one day it all got too much. Wish I'd faced them sooner rather than letting it get to that point.

I still suffer from minor anxiety every now and then and I know what you mean, its irritating as hell, rationally I know the thoughts are ridiculous but still they pop up from time to time.
 
So yeah right hello I'm just here to rant and that!

I've obviously had problems with booze in the past. Biiiig problems. And my parents have been sort of supportive. In that when I quit they were hugely congratulatory and proud of me and shit but when I lapse, they turn on me. Went to pick up a four pack this morning cos I'm a wee bit hungover and kidding myself it's Christmas so it's ok. Self-delusions aside, I got in and despite the fact that my Dad couldn't see the booze he said to me in a snidey manner 'gone to get more supplies then have we?'. I get this pretty much every time I go to the shop, even when I'd quit and at times I've had to turn out my bag to prove I have no alcohol. I know this is partially due to my shit track record with the stuff and I can't blame them for being worried/annoyed, but it's driving me mad that they'll change their attitudes like THAT. Again I can understand it and I'm not looking for pity, I just find it frustrating. I know I'm lapsing back into old ways and I know they care but at the same time the way they react to it makes me want to drink more :| I think they react to things very defensively, if that makes sense, in the same way that I am now. It's been a problem in other parts of my life. I'm making huge progress in my general attitude to life, I've dropped the anger problems and most of the paranoia and anxiety but the SECOND I look like I might get mad or upset they immediately gang up on me and go 'oh back to old ways!'. My dad told me I always lie to him the other day but when I asked him to name one instance where I've lied to him this year he just ignored me. Admittedly I have been a huge druggie liar in the past but in the past year or so none of this has happened. The second I get a wee bit emotional they say to me that I'm the same as I used to be and it just makes me want to act out deliberately, as teenage as that sounds. Again, understandable that they'd be worried but it's annoying when I have no bad intentions and just wanna be all human with my emotions and whatnot! Medication has calmed me down and made me want to change and I am a really damn nice person but I feel like I have to prove that every fucking time I get sad or angry or whatever.

Sorry this turned into a general whine-a-thon but I'm allowed one every now and then even if the Hollyoaks drama of old has faded to more of an Emmerdale sort of thing ;)

Edit: And yes, old ways and that, I am quitting for sure after New Years again. Trial run worked, time for the real thing I guess.
 
snolly said:
Went to pick up a four pack this morning cos I'm a wee bit hungover
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Not the best idea eh? :\

Your folks are only worried about you, and they're probably a tad disappointed after you did so well on your last sabbatical.

Good luck for January! :)
 
I've got a secret. I've been enjoying being sober -- so incredibly bizarre. I usually try and spend as much time as possible high. Unintentional sabbatical ftw :)
 
I know, it's fucking weird isn't it? I spent seven whole months of this year sober and it was, to be honest, pretty euphoric.

Now I'm pissed and dull but I'm working on it.

Edit: Yeah Kid, I completely understand, I just wish they wouldn't go from 0-60 and from 60-0 so fast, condemning me when they have no proof (yeah the proof is there if they looked, I dunno what I'm trying to achieve with this!). I'd be worried about me too but the accusations wear me down a little when it's obvious they're re-treading stuff from years ago. I've improved vastly personality-wise since this time last year and booze is now only a problem for my health. That doesn't make it better though but I'm fortunate in that I can see what's happening this time instead of denying it. I guess this is more a personal issue than a substance abuse thing, though.

And yeah it is a bad idea. A hugely hugely bad idea, which is why I'm glad that this time round I can freely acknowledge I'm an alcoholic on some level rather than denying it. Not quite a Jeremy Kyle level alkie, but it could happen. Thanks for the good luck wishes though, I'm not so far gone that I won't be able to quit for good at New Year's, having OCD has its benefits. Trying to face my problems with alcohol makes me feel schizophrenic at times because I can see both sides of the argument and I can't make a universal decision in my head.
 
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snolly said:
Edit: Yeah Kid, I completely understand, I just wish they wouldn't go from 0-60 and from 60-0 so fast. I'd be worried about me too but the accusations wear me down a little when it's obvious they're re-treading stuff from years ago.
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Aye, but parents are parents! They are older than us, so obviously far less rational. ;)
 
For sure! I fully expect my kids to hate me and think I am 'un-hip' and 'square' :D I do mad shit but if they think they can do what they want they've got another thing coming!
 
And it's the run up to the most stressful holiday of the year bulging with perfect happy family expectations and financial lemming behaviour :|8):(

Stress = poor behaviour in many in my experience :! Including me :\

Worth keeping in mind and trying to remove the "you" from that and realising "you" are actually ok and "you" are actually coping as well as you can and buffer yourself from other's negativity. Hard I know :X

I don't know if that post was directed to snolly <3 or whoever posts in here, or me :|

DS_ yes the state of straightness is often delightful. Breaking through to it from the more usual home state of fuckness is the sore bit. But I'm pleased you are ok and enjoying it %)

I've not been very good with my sabbatical :| though, I've tried out a few new different HR techniques in managing it... the all or nothing (sabbatical) approach is not working for me and i need better (healthier) solution or to stop for good.
 
kate said:
And it's the run up to the most stressful holiday of the year bulging with perfect happy family expectations and financial lemming behaviour :|8):(

Stress = poor behaviour in many in my experience :! Including me :\

Worth keeping in mind and trying to remove the "you" from that and realising "you" are actually ok and "you" are actually coping as well as you can and buffer yourself from other's negativity. Hard I know :X

I don't know if that post was directed to snolly <3 or whoever posts in here, or me :|

DS_ yes the state of straightness is often delightful. Breaking through to it from the more usual home state of fuckness is the sore bit. But I'm pleased you are ok and enjoying it %)

I've not been very good with my sabbatical :| though, I've tried out a few new different HR techniques in managing it... the all or nothing (sabbatical) approach is not working for me and i need better (healthier) solution or to stop for good.
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That makes sense actually <3 I'm doing me best anyway and that's as much as I can do! Fuck negativity, even if it is well-directed. I think I need to dig a bit deeper and find something to have faith in. Myself would be a start! Think it could be a post directed to all of us.

Stress tears me apart, completely. I am, despite outward appearances, a very laid back, slow kinda person (yes and I mean that in the derogatory sense too). It's like, I am fine while stuff is ok or even when it's a bit bad, but the second something shit happens I fall apart and suddenly find myself in the off-license or stuffing drugs down my maw or whatever. My problem is I learnt how to stop things affecting me but didn't learn how to deal with them if they got through my awesome awful thing detecting net. So I'm cool til summat goes particularly tits up and then it's man-overboard as far as my logic and reasoning is concerned.
 
Yep, that's the entire thing, it'll pass I'm certain but it's a hard one and I am terribly glad I've never had much luck with opiates or anything else awfully withdrawally I guess. Not that alcohol withdrawal isn't deadly but I've miraculously avoided that somehow.
 
Oh don't die shortly, that'd make me sad!

It's an ongoing battle I guess and I suppose I will finally and stubbornly admit that you are never a former alcoholic, just an alcoholic in a period of stasis, frozen in carbonite until the next stressful event parks it's arse in your back garden.
 
Hehe thanks :) Gonna have my last drinks tonight, not gonna drink New Year's cos intend to quit day after and it'll be harder hungover. Might have a can or two but definitely not getting pissed. So yeah getting some beers, turning my phone off, banning myself from IM and putting a big sign on the inside of my door going 'If you're having trouble reading this, DON'T GO OUTSIDE' =D
 
^ Good on ya Snolls! :)<3

My sabbatical is going well.....no droogs for 12 days! I'm aiming for a clean time all the way through the NYE celebrations, up until weekend of Jan 16th where i have a cocaine blizzard planned on a UK stag trip, plus a possible solo meph excursion the day before. :)
 
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