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Drug Sabbatical Support & Appreciation Thread Mk. III: New Beginnings

Yeah ive thought of supplementing things with stims several times already, but have resisted. Have arranged a night out on Friday which may involve a cocktail of several things, i think I'll feign not feeling too well and take it very easy on the booze, as things could get derailed otherwise. My drinking buddy knows i take lots of drugs, but i havent told him that im addicted/weening off.

Thanks to both of you for your advice and support.
 
anytime mate :) it's cool to help good for karma & just gives you a good vibe .
 
I need help quitting heroin please :(

I decided to get clean towards the end of may after being on it daily for about 9 months and on oxy/various other opiates for years before that, it went great at first as I managed to get to 3 months clean with only 3 or 4 small slips, but since then I'm just not managing anymore. I'm having longer and longer slip-ups now (usually at least about 5 days) and whenever I get a few clean days in I just don't see the point anyway. It doesn't help that I've also got to stay away from all other drugs for a bit so I don't have those as a distraction. I know heroin is going to ruin my life if I continue like this and I'm really, really trying not to let it, but at this point I just dunno if it's possible. It's taken all my confidence/liveliness away and at this point I don't even know if I could go back to being 'me' even if I did manage to really quit....does anyone know of anything at all that can help? I'm thinking of trying out NA meetings again as I've met some cool people there before but I'm not a fan at all in general, and I'm still kinda hesitant about getting on maintenance because I'm afraid of just dragging everything out...any advice would be very greatly appreciated :\
 
For me it took the love of another person and the birth of my son (but even then I was still using til a month before, that's disgusting behaviour :( shows you how fucked up that shit is mate, be realistic about how hard it's going to be for starters).

Maybe it's a case of starting simple, write a list of pros and cons, this works for most things in life I find.

But yes, you do need to speak to people...try NA sure, but why not the doctor? If not your local drug clinic? You can get counselling, support and keyworking from them which doesn't have to involve methadone or subutex. You in London at the moment? There are a load of places and whilst they are full of junkies and script seekers, there are plenty of good staff who want to help you. All of that relapse prevention stuff, be it 1on1 or group based is fucking bollocks to begin with, but it might be just what you need, and you have a massive plus point, you actually want to quit, I think?

Sounds like you can't do it on your own through the traditional routes though chick such as distraction, activity, exercise, good diet, change of circumstances etc etc. So you gotta reach out, this place is a catch 22...and if I'm being honest initially it's best avoided.

Bon chance
 
Thanks a lot for the answer backroll.

Think I'm probably going to try all you said...I'll write the list now, speak to my doctor soon and check out local drug clinics and stuff. Yes I definitely do want to quit but like you said, it's just so fucked up how deep inside your head it gets.

Yeah, I'm being careful about what I look at on BL and I'm not really going anywhere outside of SLR or the Recovery Section these days cuz the stuff in here is just too hard to read, but if I stick to this thread I figured it might help. Thanks very much for your advice.
 
No worries hun, just be as honest as you have been with us with every professional you speak to, coz otherwise they can't help, and you will end up lying to yourself and probably drug-seeking in the programmes, it's what happens to most of us sadly!

Now bugger off and do something positive for half an hour or so :)
 
Pagey, theres no easy way to say this, so please dont take offense, but it might be worth asking your GP to refer you to drugs support agencies. They really do help. Of course you might not need that. As for me, I dont think Id still be here if i hadnt done that.

Once i started to get my use under a bit more control i was refered to another agency for CBT, counselling and all that, as i wanted to try and sort out my underlying issues. Its still a work in progress though and isnt an easy option.

I stopped attending during my bupe binge, as i would have been at odds with everyone there, but now im working on cutting down the bupe too im gonna go back.

I just looked back on that post i made on page 3 about how determined i was gonna be to stick to a strict bupe schedule. That did not go according to plan at all, but i am finally back on the right track now.
 
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One month clean :)
Not a single opiate, not a single stim, not a single psych. No benzos for 3 weeks until I went borderline insane and am now on a taper, but no recreational use anyway. So I'm counting myself clean :)
 
Congratulations. One giant step for mankind. :D Good decison to give yourself a bit of a break by getting back on a benzo taper, it sounded like you were just trying to do too much all at once before.
 
Cheers mdb! Yeah I think I probably would've caved eventually if I'd tried to stick with the CT benzo WDs so definitely better this way :)
 
I'm down to 0.1mg of bupe as of today. Literally counting the hours till i can have my next 0.1. 22 hours or so to hold out (and at least 10 of them will be spent sleeping), not feeling too bad so far. I feel this is do-able. Its been a small reduction from 0.25 to 0.1 so hopefully it's not gonna hit me too hard. Going to do 5-14 days on this dose, depending how it goes, whether there are big adjustment problems or barely noticeable ones. Then Im gonna do a few days on 0.05 to finish.

It does not seem possible to get any lower than that before jumping. Im making it as easy as possible for myself. Yeah its making it a fuckin long and drawn out affair and is kind of putting my life on hold in many ways until i complete it. But i think i stand a good chance of eventually getting off it this way.
 
Slow is most definitely better. Five to fourteen days is quite a while, but it might well work out for the best. Good luck!
 
Cheers. Today and tomorrow will tell. This is the smallest reduction ive ever made so in theory it shoulnt be too bad. All my other reductions have either been 1mg, 0.5mg, or 0.25mg. This is a reduction of 0.15. Obviously the 0.5 reductions after i got dowwn to 2mg were quite hard. Im hoping to buck the trend with these tiny reductions, and thanking my lucky fortune for landing these tiny dose pills that i didnt even know existed until a week ago.

Not meaning to be argumentative but you have changed your position completelky on bupe tapers. Initially you were very strongly advocating a fast and aggressive taper. Maybe thats what worked for you, but as you know different strokes for different folks. Each method has its advantages and disadvantages.
 
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mydrugbuddy said:
Not meaning to be argumentative but you have changed your position completelky on bupe tapers. Initially you were very strongly advocating a fast and aggressive taper. Maybe thats what worked for you, but as you know different strokes for different folks. Each method has its advantages and disadvantages.
Click to expand...

No, I advocated an actual planned taper of whatever duration, whereas you seemed to want to have some 'fun' with bupe for an indefinite period. Remember?

I still think you're making a meal out of it (and you shouldn't have been on it to begin with) but as long as there's an end in sight then it's up to the individual and what they're comfortable with.

You've done well anyhow.
 
ok thanks, yeah i am dragging it out, i like to keep suffering to the minimum. And initially Bupe was fun for me, which seemed to annoy you. Anyway, i got past that after a couple of months, and am almost there. I may actually have to start facing my problems when im off it though, plus my counsellor may well be leaving very soon for another job.

This'll be quite unfortunate timing when there has been a great deal of trust built up in the relationship, but by the time im off bupe and if any core problems then re-surface it'll be a shitter not having her there, and having to start again with someone new. At one point i was getting over attached to her, but i have kind of put the breaks on that, it'll still be a wrench if she does leave though.
 
I thought i was skint, ive suddenly discovered that i have £900 more than i did last time i checked, it seems that shares have been booming in the last few months. This would normally be a good thing, of course its a good thing. But financial reasons were a large part of my motivation to get off bupe, of course i wanna be free of opiate depenency too. Id love to cash these in right now, but as im not out of the woods with bupe yet, i fear id better not. Although having said that im avoiding SR and all tor sites like the plague somaybe i havent got anything to worry about.

I find it hard to predict how well im going to be able to resist temptation in the future. Ive certainly learnt the hard way how hard it is to get off opiates. I would hope this would allways be in the forefront of my mind and stop me ever getting addicted again. It just happened so easily last time though. I will be wiser 2nd time round for sure, and i hate the thought of never being ble to take opiates again. I may be one of those people for whome there is no middle ground. The bastard thing is the not knowing.
 
The will to give up can't always be the first thing in your mind, and the funny thing is sometimes you forget altogther!

Worst is the "ahh, fuck it" statement. Usually made at the cash machine
 
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